You Don’t Need More Certainty—You Need More Courage

What if the life you’ve been dreaming about is waiting on the other side of one brave decision?

In this deeply personal solo episode of Relentlessly Authentic, Gaby shares the story behind one of the biggest decisions of her life: leaving her hometown, following her intuition, and moving to San Diego—even when it didn’t make sense to everyone around her.

Because sometimes your soul will ask you to leave behind what’s familiar long before it can show you what’s next.

This conversation is for anyone standing at the edge of change.

The woman who knows she’s meant for more.
Who feels the pull toward something bigger.
Who can’t stop thinking about the life that’s calling her… but is scared to trust herself enough to answer.

Together, we explore:

• what it means to trust your intuition when no one else understands your decision

• why every new beginning asks you to let go of an old version of yourself

• identity shifts and becoming the woman your future requires

• navigating fear, judgment, and uncertainty

• the abundance that becomes available when you stop playing small

• self-care, self-trust, and leading by example

• the evolution of love, relationships, and personal truth

• spirituality, purpose, and following what’s on your heart

Gaby and Rachael share the lessons they’re learning in real time—about courage, surrender, and trusting that the path unfolding before you is happening for you, not to you.

Because the biggest risk isn’t changing your life.

It’s staying somewhere your soul has already outgrown.

If you’ve been waiting for a sign to trust yourself, take the leap, or finally choose the life that’s been quietly calling your name…

This is it.

The woman you’re becoming isn’t found by staying where you are.

She’s discovered the moment you decide to trust yourself more than your fear.

Find Rachael on Instagram @highvibeyogii

Find Gaby on Instagram @rising.monarca and @gabrielafverdusco on Tik Tok 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Hello, welcome back.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Hello. Hello, everybody. Gabby's yeah, by the way, Reach, last week's episode or yeah, this last week's episode was so good. Yeah. I've actually gotten a few messages from people being like, but intuition and everything. It's just awesome. So thank you for doing that. That was M-I-A.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

It's okay. I'm but I appreciate that. I uh I was a little nervous because I feel like I didn't prepare as much as I had done for like the nervous system one. And it was thundering and lightning like outside when I was recording and like my computer shut down and I had to like not start over, but like have a part one and a part two. But anywho, I thank you. I'm really glad. And we can the two of us can tap more into that at some point too.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

But where do you want to start, Gab? Do you want to fill everyone in on kind of where you're at?

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Yeah. And I and I will circle back to intuition.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Um because that's something I didn't want to talk about. Yeah. So today is Today's the fucking day, bitch. It is. Today is today. I'm like, I'm like in my room and I'm just like looking around and um how long have you been here, guys? In this place, I've only been here, I think four years. Okay. Yeah. Four years. But I've lived in this city, in this town, uh my entire life. My entire life. And I believe my entire life has prepared me for this moment today. I really, really do. I really do. I feel like as I'm packing and I have moments where I just sit here and look around. I think, wow, you know, I think I dreamed of doing this for so long. I want to say maybe almost 10 years of just getting up and leaving this place, this city. Because this city has also been transitioning. It went from being such a small town where everybody knew each other to just like evolving into like this tech AI town now that like Mark Zuckerberg owns probably every single apartment complex in this city.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Yeah. And it's quite ridiculous, actually. The apartments here that he owns are luxury apartments and they range from $4,000 to $8,000 a month. And they're only one and two bedroom apartments. So it's kind of kind of like blows my mind, you know? We lived in a house not far from where I'm at now for 30 years. Well, I lived in that house with my parents and my grandparents. 2034 Jefferson. And I lived there for 30 years. I grew up in that house. My kids were born there. My kids grew up in that house. And a few years ago, we had to leave it because the house was sold. And I remember that when they told us the house had been sold and we need 30 days to leave. This feels a lot like that. This feels a lot like that.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

So just remind everyone what's what's happening. So you're leaving today to go to San Diego and then like start a whole new fucking book and chapter.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Yeah. And I'm leaving, I'm leaving everything. I'm leaving everything. I'm leaving my entire life. I'm leaving my memories. I'm leaving my history. I'm leaving my kids. Well, I'm not leaving my kids. They're choosing to stay. They're not wanting to move with me. They were gonna go. They've decided that they wanna stay. And that is their choice. And I'm starting a new life. I'm starting a new job. I mean, everything that was my life a month ago is or no, not even a month ago, maybe, I don't know, maybe like three, four years ago, right? Being married and just having this idea of my life, what it was that meant uh those few years ago to what it is now, it's been like a whole 360. You have a marriage that you think is gonna be forever. You have a family that you think is gonna be forever, you have future plans, you have vacations, you have you have all these things that you think this is just what my life is gonna be like. And to look back on it now and see me getting my stuff, grabbing my stuff and only my stuff, and leaving to start a new life that I have absolutely no idea what it's gonna be like. And I'm fully, fully doing this on a gut feeling, on intuition, and having to deal with so much distress and I guess uh judgment from other people, right? People that, in my opinion, I thought were like my number one supporters, and just ever all of them telling me, like, you're making a big mistake, you're making a big mistake, you're fucking up again. This is not the way you need to do things. Like, you need to stay and you need to put up with everything you're putting up with, and you need to do it for your kids. And me just being like, I'm not, like, I'm not doing that anymore. I'm no longer abandoning myself and my goals and my dreams, you know. My kids are not kids anymore. You know, the only one that should be coming with me, in my opinion, is Valeria because she's 14 years old, she's a girl, her body's going through changes. So I'm very strongly feel like she needs to be with me. But we have made an agreement and she is gonna stay here for this school year. And she said at the end of next school year, she will move with me and do high school over there. And that's I have given that to her. Yeah, I've given that to her. I've told her that's fine. She can do that. Everybody else, Rachel, are adults. My youngest son from there is gonna be 19, Viviana's 20, and Junior's 23. So when people constantly tell me, like, I'm leaving my kids behind, no, I'm not. No, I'm not. I have devoted my entire life to my kids when they were young. When they were young, I took them everywhere I went. They were with me all the time. So it's not fair for people to be like, you need to still stay stuck in the situation you're in. And even say, like, because now their father is telling me and my father that like he will financially support me and I don't have to work. He will get two jobs if he needs to, just so that I could stay with or go go get back with him, you know, and and fix things with him, and just so that we can be a family again. And there was a time reach when you would have said that's all I wanted. Yeah, that's all I wanted a long, long time ago, you know. But that's not what I want anymore. I'm here to reclaim my independence. I'm here to take my fucking power back. I'm here to show myself and these people that I can do this shit on my own and that I haven't made it this far to just make it this far. That I'm here to fulfill the dreams that I have written down on all those pages of all these years, my manifestations, you know, all of these things, you know. I'm here to fulfill those things. And I I understand that it's gonna take me walking, treading through this mud to be able to get to where that place is. I understand fully that it's not gonna be easy because that's something that my dad constantly tells me, this is gonna not gonna be easy. It's not gonna be easy, like it's gonna be tough. I know, but guess what? Thankfully, my life has never been easy. Thankfully, my life has always been hard. So I've I'm acclimated to hard. I am. I'm acclimated to hard and I know that I can do it. And there has been such hard moments in the last few days where I'm not gonna lie, there is moments when I'm like, like, am I really making this the right decision, you know?

SPEAKER_02 8:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

Um but after I calm down and take a few deep breaths, you know, there's that that feeling in my gut, you know, that is like, you need to fucking do this. Like, do not go back. You've come this far, like you just need to keep going. And and I do, and and and like when I am clear-minded, like I have absolutely no no doubt that this is just what I have to do. And I'm not just doing it for me, right? I'm doing it for this podcast, for anyone that's listening, you know, to hear that sometimes the whole world's against you, but our intuition does not lie to us. Our gut does not lie to us. And some of the most successful people out there have had to leave everything behind and be homeless, even because they believe in themselves so much, even when nobody else does. And that's what I feel like right now. I feel like the people that need to need to believe in me are kind of turning their back on me and basically trying to dim my light, right? And keep me where I'm at because that's what's comfortable for them. That's what feels safe for them. I fully understand. And I don't judge any of them. I don't have any ill feelings towards my dad, towards my kids, towards family members that feel like I'm such a bad mom right now and that I'm walking away. Like I don't feel that. I understand that those are their fears, but they're their fears, not mine to own.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

And I'm so proud of myself for being able to say that, but not just to say that, to feel that.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

And to see it, right? Where you're not going back. You're not staying because it was just make everyone happier and more comfortable and easier, right? It what it could be really easy to say, oh yeah, he's just gonna pay my way now. So like I I'll just stay. That seems easy, but yeah, you're choosing the harder option right now for a better future in tomorrow. You don't need to be. Yeah, it might be hard now, but you're leaving a situation that you're just surviving in order to create a future where you're fucking thriving. And that's really hard and uncomfortable right now, Gabs, but it's going to be monumental, right? That vision you hold in your heart and in your soul, and choosing to follow that is so admirable and honorable. And it's really hard right now, but it it will be worth it.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Yeah, yeah. And and I think that, you know, at the end, I do see that the lesson that I will gift my kids with is gonna be so grand. Yeah. You know, because when they see me doing everything that I said I was gonna do for myself, given everything I've been through, how many times the door's been closed in my face by jobs, by apartments, by people, right? How many times I've been judged, ridiculed for my mistakes in the past, you know. I I do now see like how my choices from the past, how me being convicted for, you know, those charges and being in jail, like I see it now, how impactful they have been in my life, even now, almost 15 years later, right? And I'm like, like it blows my mind. It blows my mind how someone can pay their debt to society, can, you know, do all of this. And even so many years later, like this is still held over your head. And I'm an and I tell myself, you know, there's moments that someone says, but I'm an entirely different person.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Like I'm not that person anymore. But the lessons keep coming, right? The lessons keep coming, keep coming. And then I think the sooner we are able to see the lessons, the faster we can quantum leap, right? Because if we stay stuck in that victimhood, but why is this happening to me? Why? Why? I don't understand. Like, why does this keep happening? Because I have had moments. Look, in the last fucking two weeks, my plane has been delayed every single time I travel by hours, by hours, every single time it's been delayed. This time on the way home, it was delayed like by two hours. On the way over there, it was delayed by two hours. Every single time I got to San Diego and the rental car that I was supposed to rent, I lost my debit card. I left it at an SFO. So when I got to the rental car, I couldn't rent the car because they don't take tap. I needed a physical card. And I was sitting outside and I was ready to cry. And I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. Like, I can't rent a car. How am I gonna get out of here? And I was on the phone with my mom and I had a nice guy from another rental car company, Hertz, like overhear my conversation and he's like, I'm gonna help you out. He's like, I work for Hertz and we take tap. And I was like, okay. So I went over there and he rented me a car for cheaper than when Enterprise was gonna do it. And he's like, Then I'm gonna upgrade you to like a gold member something, something. He's like, so you're gonna go to the lot and you get to choose any car you want.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Scabs! What a blessing! Isn't that the best? It's so fucking cool, Gabby. Like when you travel and like you're like, you're like, what the fuck am I gonna do? I'm about to be like selling my soul, like on the side of the street for some money. And then all of a sudden the universe is like, here, something even better for you. I fucking love that I have travel. Okay, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Okay, yeah, it was awesome. So I got in the car and I couldn't believe it. I didn't choose, like, I wanted this like Jeep Rubicon thing. Hey, you should love it. Of course, you should know. But I was like, I was like, the gas is gonna be so much for like seven days, and I'm traveling like almost two hours, right? In traffic back and forth. So I was like, the gas is just gonna be crazy. Like, I'm not gonna like let's be smart, Gabby. Yeah, yeah. I feel like that was a test from the universe. Like, okay, I'm gifting you this, but bitch, like don't get out of hand, okay? Let's see if you're still gonna stay humble. You know? So I chose a smaller SUV. It was nice still, but I should have smaller SUV and I left. And you know, then I then the SUV, like check engine light turns on a couple days later, and I'm just like, like, what the fuck? Like, yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, like these things keep happening, you know. I was on the phone and telling a friend of mine, you know, a person that I was that I was talking to, and I was like, I don't know what to do. Like, you know, like what's going on? Like, I'm a hot mess, you know, all of these things. And yeah, and they were like, You're not a hot mess, you just have a lot going on, and you know, like, you know, just keep going or whatever. And I was like, all right, you know, but these things keep happening, and I I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

It's also for theory retrograde. So it's like, I feel like all the electronic things and like fuck up things, like this is the time where all that happens.

SPEAKER_01 15:05

Yes, for real, because it's just like constant, yeah, you know, things happening. But also the universe keeps like, like, yeah, one bad thing will happen. And then they're like, look, you know, it's almost like, are you gonna give up now? Right. Are you gonna give up now? Are you gonna give up now? Look, it's happening again. Are you gonna give up now? You know, and then and I'm like, I'm not giving, I'm not giving up. Yeah. Like I'm not, I'm not gonna stop. I'm gonna keep do going towards what I believe I deserve and I want my life to be. And the proof is in the pudding. Like things have happened. I have made connections over there with people, with places, with jobs, with so many different things that I feel like that is the proof that I need to tell me that like that's just where I need to be right now. That's just where I need to establish myself.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

Well, also, Gabby, again, like we've talked on the podcast, like when we first did this, which I think this is gonna be episode 18. So we've literally been doing this for four, six. What's 18 divided by four? I can't do the math in my head.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

I don't know. Don't ask me.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Almost six months right now, right? I mean neither. I'm like, fuck that. So, like six months ago, Gab, like you couldn't even get a job where you live for a year. You're moved to San Diego, you're moving to San Diego, you've gotten not just one job, you've gotten two jobs. I mean, that's a That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

And like it happened like this. And like over here, we're in the Bay Area. I've been trying to get a job for a whole year. For a whole year, I've been trying to get a job. Like, I really, really, and I asked myself these questions like, why can't I get a job? Not just that, I've gotten jobs, I've gotten three jobs, and last minute, they fall through.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

For one reason or another, they fall through. And I'm like, what the fuck? You know? So I had to like sit back and meditate and ask the universe, like in spirit, like, what are you trying to tell me? Right. What is happening here? What is happening here? I've been here before. I've felt this before. I felt like what when I bitch, it's time to spread your weeks. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, I think I just need to move. I think I just, and when my son said, like, I'm gonna go study in San Diego, right away. My that light turned on. And I was like, I should go with him. I should go over there. He's gonna be there. My daughter's over there in the in Southern California. Like, I should just go over there and see what happens. Like, what's stopping me? What's stopping me? I'm leaving this area, I'm leaving everything, you know, that felt comfortable to me. It's time to get fucking uncomfortable. It was felt safe and secure.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

And, you know, again, I think there's like you've done so much of the work. I feel like internal work, Gab, you know, very similar. Like, we're in our rooms by ourselves doing the breath work, doing the meditation, doing the journaling, doing the reflection. And I think now it's like, okay, now we need to shift something external, right? It's time to spread your wings. It's time to take a leap. It's time to put the internal work almost like to test, right? And like you said, like, uh, are you gonna give up now? Okay, here's another test you're gonna give up now. Like, how uncomfortable can I kind of almost make you feel a little triggered, but actually I'm doing this as a gift. And that's how it always works, always. But we have our internal program, trigger, fear, right? That instantly gets heightened. And then we're like, oh my God, am I safe? Am I safe? Am I safe? Am I safe? Am I safe? Oh my God, I can't take one more thing, right? Then it's stress, then it's overwhelmed, then it's stress makes you stupid. And I I love that expression because what that means is that your prefrontal cortex just shuts down. So yeah, it makes you stupid because you can't logically think your way through, like, oh no, everything is gonna be okay. That's why we need to go into the body. We need to regulate. And then this will start to come back online where we can coach ourselves up and realize that. But you're you've continued to do this. And like you said, Gab, you've had to become this version of yourself to be to have this strong sense of self, of trust, of conviction in order to be this version, to actually take these fucking leaps and to listen to your intuition, right? To be like, hey, I need a sign, but not to just like override the sign now that things are hard. You're continuing to trust it, continuing. And I just can't wait to see what unfolds. And I know how hard this is. I know how hard it is for you, for your family, for your kids, everything that you have built your almost identity around, right? All of that is about to shift, all of that is about to change. So who's Gabby as not the identity of mother? Who's Gabby without the identity of wife? Who's Gabby now? And you're building that identity. You're building a new identity. You know, like on my way home, I was texting.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

So I was, I was like, okay, the plane is leaving. Yay! You know, we're in the plane and we're starting taking, we start driving, you know, to the runway. And then the plane stops. And they're like, oh, there's a little bit of traffic and or whatever. So we're just gonna wait a few minutes. We've waited in the fucking plane for 45 minutes, stopped on the runway. And I was like, dude, I'm like halfway through the fucking movie. And the plane is still here, you know, and I'm texting and they're like, did the plane take off yet? And I was like, no, the plane hasn't taken off yet. And they were like, I think it's time, I think it's time you find a new airline. I think it's time you find a new airline. And I was like, yeah, among other things, I was like, maybe even a shamanic cleanse I need. Yeah. You know, and and I just want to read something in that moment because I I said that and their response was, hold on. Their response was, I said, I need a shamanic cleanse. And they said, as long as you don't change yourself. And when they said that, I was like, what do you mean, change myself? And so I my response was, well, I've had to die 333 times to become me today. And I might need to a thousand more. But we are ever-changing beings. Transformation isn't something that happens to us, it's woven into who we are. We are forever shedding, forever unraveling, forever remembering, forever becoming. Who I am today, I will never be again. Every experience leaves its fingers, its fingerprints. Every connection rewires a part of my story. Every heartbreak cracks me open. Every joy stitches me back together in a way I couldn't have imagined before. Like the moon, I was never meant to remain full. Like the seasons, I was never meant to stay the same. I am here to molt, to die a thousand beautiful deaths, to rise a thousand more. Because evolution isn't linear, it's sacred. And perhaps that's the greatest gift of being alive, to wake up each day as someone we've never been before, carrying a little less fear, a little more wisdom, and a heart just expansive enough to love this life even deeper than it did yesterday, you know? And I think that everybody's so scared of that. Everybody's so don't change, you know. Like I think we talked about this before. You're like, people say, like, oh, don't. Don't ever change, be you, you know. I don't know if it was with you or with Frank or with somebody, but we've spoke about that before. And it's like, no, like, don't be scared of change. Like, embrace the change, right? Embrace the change and and we're ever like we're ever changing. Like, I get so excited to think of who I'm gonna be next year, right? Yeah. Who I'm gonna be, who I'm gonna be next year. Like, what am I gonna be like? What am I gonna look like? Am I gonna have the same hair? Like, yeah, am I gonna dress the same? Am I gonna do that?

SPEAKER_00 22:31

Why wouldn't we want to stay the same? That's my that's the real question, I feel like. Why would I wanna stay the same? Why wouldn't I wanna unlayer new flavors and try new tastes and try a new outfit or a new hair?

SPEAKER_01 22:44

Like we're like I've said before, this life, we are a fucking celebration. Yeah, bitch. And like, like, do you understand? Like when you are celebrating, okay, like when you're throwing birthday parties, is it the same theme every year? No. No, because you're in the theme. The theme changes. Yes, the theme, the theme changes as you get older, the themes change, you like different things, you're into different music, you're and that is it's everywhere. Yeah. But we get so comfortable in staying the same and in living the same life by the same values, the same ethics, the same morals, and needing to like fit into this little box, right? But we don't. We outgrow all these things and we evolve and we become different versions of. Yeah. Yeah. And and I think that that's just what society needs to realize as a whole is that this is just what this is exactly what life's about. It's about evolving, it's about evolution, it's about becoming and changing, right?

SPEAKER_00 23:46

We're all changing, we're all getting older, right? No one's stopping the clock, but embrace that, right? Exactly. But like, why is it a bad thing? Well, I said this, I don't know about Abby, if I said this to you on the podcast as we're on this, I said this to women, I feel like maybe in my last yoga class. I was like, I can't wait to be 95 with my sister sitting in a Paris cafe at like being in these old little biddies, and I'm gonna be wearing these huge fucking like red glasses. I'm gonna have like this huge hat. I'm gonna be looking like have this fabulous outfit on while I'm drinking my wine in a Paris cafe because me and my sister have an like an apartment in Paris. You know, I'm gonna be the most like eclectic, loud older woman. And I'm so I'm so ready for I'm like so excited for that version. I'm but I'm not that version yet. But I'm different from who I was a year ago from two years ago, right? Like our identities are allowed to shift, are allowed to change, or allowed to grow. That's a good thing. Like, who wants to stay the same? Because the world around us is gonna continue to change. AI and technology and the world, like that's not stopping. The world isn't gonna start spinning. So, how do we get comfortable with the uncomfortability of that change? And for me, that's having a strong safety and in yourself and a strong sense of self in your system. I think something loving yourself. Correct, I think 100%. And I but I think that in loving yourself is allowing yourself the freedom to change and be who you want to be. I think when people say they don't want you to change, I think maybe they mean that from like a soul perspective. Like I love your soul. And I can understand that, but of course, that the my soul, my higher self, my soul, like that isn't necessarily gonna change. But my expression of my human self, that is going to change and evolve because we have we get have to get to enter all these different timelines. I get to experience myself and the world in all different types of ways. And I think identity shifting, like I don't un think people understand how powerful that is. We've talked about, we learned a lot about this in Yes Supply. And I think, Gab, honestly, I had this thought last night. I think the world is finally ready for all the hip in the world. I think the world is finally ready for a lot of the work that we've been doing for the past five years. I think the world is finally ready to embrace a lot of that. And identity shifting is just literally learning about your brain and knowing that who you believe yourself to be literally running the program of your life. And when you start to identify with a different version of yourself, you start to go from, oh, I'm not the type of person who does X, Y, or Z. Why the fuck not? And I had this thought, I was just like, they're like their grease retreat is about come change your identity to I am a millionaire. Doesn't mean you're gonna might become a millionaire tomorrow. But if you what if you started to think, okay, I'm gonna become a millionaire? Like walk around and find out. Exactly. But how does that feel? Like, why not you? What like we all need to start believing in our delusions and how powerful we are in our dreams. And you are just like a walking testament of that right now, Gab, that you're in the heart of it. And we're not saying sometimes this is all gonna be easy, but I do think, Gab, in my heart, my bones, my being, that you are gonna get opportunities handed to you on the other side of this, right? Things are gonna start to magnetize to they already have, right? But that doesn't. You know what?

SPEAKER_01 27:08

It's funny because like I've been on on, like, you know, you go on TikTok and you see the the tarot readings. And like every single time they're reading the doing the reading for Scorpio, like it's always like opportunities are coming, you know, business opportunities, business opportunities, business opportunities, every single time, like money, you know, like finances are gonna be great. Like this is gonna be, this is your time, this is your time. And I feel that rage. I do. I'm not seeing it.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Started we're priming the brain. Like, so just start thinking they are coming, they are coming. I literally, I think I've I think I've uh posted this on social media. I in the last two weeks have started to say to myself, like, I've realized that I've had my own limiting beliefs about social media of like, oh, it's not gonna work for me because it's like too late. That's the market's too saturated. I'm not a content creator, all of this shit. I've started to say to myself lately of like, oh, if they can do it, I can do it. Abundance is all around me. Oh, like I can, I'm gonna get there. And now I've had a a reel go viral and I've gotten like almost 300k views on that one reel. That's never happened to me. And I've literally been saying for the last two weeks and reiterating it to myself that this is going to work, and all of a sudden this is what happened. These things can happen pretty quick. And so, and we, our mind, right? Like our reticular activating system is filters out all the opportunity when we're in a state of fear and stress. So when we can get out of that state and realize that there's opportunity and abundance all the fuck around us. Like, what if every person who, again, like this is why I love going to Greece and going to Mikanos, because you realize that you're not separate from it, that if this person can do it, so can you. And you soak in that fucking energy. Why not you? You take yourself out of your little small autopilot life that we're in right now and just thinking, oh, like I have to work my nine to five and I'm gonna become a million, I'm not gonna become a millionaire because this is what I, this is my salary. Fuck that. Take yourself out of that life, place yourself where opportunities, abundance, possibility, and magic are endless. And you will start to rewire that and start to see that there's an abundant amount of opportunities. It might not happen overnight, but why the fuck not start taking steps towards it? And that's what you're doing, Gabs. And I will be your fucking cheerleader along the way. I know it's not easy right now, but babe, as soon as you and I we're gonna be doing, we're gonna have our own little podcast studio, or we're gonna be sitting side by side with like a little microphone, and you know, like be going on tour with the podcast, right? Bitch, you're gonna be in Greece with me. Like, we're gonna be like, oh damn, like that's the Mediterranean over yonder.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Can I tell you every like there's been people that are much they're like, you because you know how you send me the Greece stuff and I repost it? Yeah, they're like, you need to go to Greece with her, you need to go to Greece with her, you need to go to Greece with her.

SPEAKER_00 30:00

And I was like, I know, and I feel that will happen. It will happen. I see it too, I feel it too. When the right time is meant to happen, babe, it's gonna unfold beautifully and it's gonna be, woo, I can't wait. And if it's not this year, it's not this year. And like you've got a lot going on, but it's gonna happen. And maybe it's gonna happen even better than what we think of it right now. You know what I mean? So I'm saying maybe we're gonna have a little podcast of sessions while we're in Greece.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

I think it'd be fun to shoot. I think if we stop and think of evolution itself, right? And what it really means and what it really stands for, like everything in this world changes, right? The trees, the flowers, they all die, they all have a rebirth, like you said. It's like we're going to with uh technology, like houses to get remodeled, you know, everything. Like, who the fuck told us that we need to stay the same? Where the fuck is that? Yeah, you know, that we have to stay exactly who we are, we have to be the same person, the same version of ourselves for the rest of our lives. Like, where the fuck does it say that? And where did that idea come from? Because that is so false. And that is why so many people, so many humans are in this suffering, very negative, toxic state of mind, right? Because they don't want to be like, they're bursting, right? And they're they're like stuck in this box that's ready to burst, but they're like trying to contain themselves. They're in survival because they're being told you can't do this, you can't do that, and they're believing that, right? Well, guess what? We are here to tell you guys the opposite. We are here to tell you guys to break that box, right? You you don't fit in it anymore. And if you really want to be in a box, you can go get yourself a bigger box, right? And you can do change that way. You don't have to do change the way I'm doing change and just you know, throwing everything out the window. Like you can go get a chance. Throw yourself head first. Yeah, you can throw, get a, get a bigger box and then a bigger box, and then a bigger box, and eventually, you know, not a box at all. But that is your birthright is to do you. This is your birthright. And I think so many moms especially think like, but I need to, I need to stay this way because I have kids. Because I've let me tell you, you you choosing you, you doing you, you going out and chasing your dreams, you going out and changing yourself and loving yourself, giving yourself the care that you need, whether it's meditation, whether it's physical activity, whether it's, you know, eat eating ice cream, whatever it is, them seeing you like, I want to do this, I'm gonna go do it. Like you are giving them such a gift. You are teaching them so much. You are teaching them you deserve to put yourself first. You are teaching them after me, you come first, right? And that is a gift because this world is filled with the opposite. It's filled with people thinking, I have to sacrifice everything that I want for my entire life because now I have kids. That is we're changing that. We don't understand how much of a disservice we're doing to our kids, but also like how much we are depriving our kids from having a happy mom, you know, a mom that loves the kids.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Who's filled and joyful with pleasure and lit up and alive. It's free. Because your kids aren't gonna learn from what you tell them, they're gonna learn from who you know.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

Yes, we lead by example. And I correct, you know, in my nanny jobs, I've always said that when I speak to families in my nanny work, I always tell them, like, they're like, well, what is what is your theory on kids, you know, and being a nanny? And I said, My theory is yes, we are here to care for your kids. We are here to teach them their ABCs, their one, two, threes, and help them, you know, with their creativity and all of this stuff. I said, but my number one priority is teaching your kids to be a good human being. And they are gonna see me be a good human being. And so they're gonna do the same. I said, we need to lead by example, and I am here to teach them social and emotional skills. And I'm here to teach them to lead with unconditional love and compassion for themselves and for others. And I can only do that by the way I conduct myself, by the way I carry myself outside of your home, how I interact with people, whether I hold the door open or I say, good morning, how are you? Would can I help you? Like all of these things are key to me being a nanny because they are I'm teaching them modeling, you know, we are, yeah, we are here to be of service. We are here to help each other, right? And I think that this world lacks that. I think that this world lacks it's a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 34:36

Because I think we have a conscious, a collective consciousness that's in fear, in in survival. And it's it's like a cloud, especially in the United States, it's like a cloud of fog that everybody's kind of in. And I think when the purpose of you living to your heart, of taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, uh, physically, is so that you can live in a more state, a higher vibration and state of being to hold that, and also so that you can be of service to others, right? It's for you and it's for others. So taking care of yourself helps you, like you're talking and speaking into for moms, Gab, and it also helps everyone else who has who comes in contact with you, right? You change, you can change yourself. I don't think we can change the whole world, but we can change the world for one other person. And that starts with how we conduct ourselves in the outside world, how we could how we treat in our relationship with ourselves and then our relationship with others. Okay, y'all. I'm interrupting this episode for something really exciting because I'm officially opening the applications for the abundance activation retreat in Greece. And honestly, this is gonna be such a fucking vibe. I'm so excited. I'm so excited about the women who are already joining. Uh, so if you are a soul who has been craving expansion, softness, adventure, sisterhood, healing, abundance, and a deeper connection to your feminine energy, this is your sign to join the vibe tribe in Greece. This is a seven-day yoga, Pilates, feminine embodiment retreat through the Greek islands for the woman who's tired of holding her entire life together through stress, pressure, overthinking, and survival mode, and is ready to step into a completely different energy. Because abundance isn't something you hustle for, it's something you open yourself up to receive. We'll move our bodies overlooking the sea, regulate our nervous system, dance under the stars, and have bougie boat days, deep conversations, incredible freaking Greek food, beach clubs, sunsets, healing, laughter, and the kind of experiences that generally change you forever. Because sometimes you don't need another tool, technique, or strategy, you need a new environment, you need a moment to pause, a new frequency, a new energy to help remind you of who you really are. After my first time in Greece, everything really shifted for me, not just externally, but internally. I trusted myself more, I trusted the universe more, I stopped forcing life so hard. I felt supported, guided, and deeply connected to creation, possibility, and magic. And that's exactly the energy, the vibe of this retreat. So you've been waiting for a sign to stop playing small, to start going after what you truly want, to start saying yes to your next big level, then this is it. You can apply or reach out to me via Instagram for more information. I seriously cannot wait for this experience and to experience this magic with you. And that isn't other, you know, just at work, right? That's other everywhere. How much can we connect? How much can we be there for another human? How can we sit in the grief with a human and in the joy and just be in this human experience and not leak on the ones who love us? And I think a lot of us leak and we can have compassion for that and understanding because of the things that we've been through. But then it's also your fucking responsibility to work through the things you've been through. Because it helps you and it helps everyone else are fucking around you. And this is why I think joy and happy and happiness, like that vibration, that love makes you feel better. And that is a contribution to life more so than anything else, more so than your money, right? Your I believe in an abundance because I believe that you should be able to feel a feel abundant, to feel safe, to feel loved and cared for, and then be able to spread that feeling to fucking others. And that you are have so much resources and support that you feel supported, that you are so sourced, you're self-sourced in your own safety and your own love, your own support, your own abundance. That way that you can spread that to others without fear, without a sense of laugh, without a sense of insecurity, without a sense of, you're gonna fuck me over. So I can't do this for you, or I can't do that because I've got so little that I've got to kind of hoard it.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

Right.

SPEAKER_00 39:40

That vibration of constriction compared to a vibration of, yeah, I've got me. The world's got me. And how do we do that?

SPEAKER_01 39:48

We do that like I I think like, like, I really do think that part of my mission in this life is to be a nanny so that I can I can guide these little humans to become kind humans when they're older, right? Because maybe we can't change the people that are older in this generation, right? Because they're already programmed. They're already, but I can do my part in helping these younger kids, right? Have a different mentality and help them believe in themselves, right? And allow them to see themselves for who their soul is, right? Who they really are. And have them grow up to be confident, right? Have them grow up to believe in themselves, have them grow up to show unconditional love for others, right? Have them do that. And I do think the world is changing. You know, I was talking to my dad's wife the other day, and she was like, it's crazy. She's like, everybody's getting divorced. Everybody's getting divorced. And I I believe that. I've heard that a lot, actually. I've heard that a lot and I've seen it in just in my circle. There's several people. And I think it's because of what you said. I think that the woo-woo, that all this stuff, I think people are waking up. I think people are waking up. And because she was saying, even at her church, she's like, There's people in my church that have been married for like 30, 40 years and they're getting divorced.

SPEAKER_00 41:09

And but we say that as a bad thing, and I don't think it is a bad thing. No, I don't think so. I want to read this to you, guys, because I I got I saw this today, and I I just think this is profound. And I think we have a, again, I think marriage is sacred. I think union is sacred, but that doesn't mean I we have like one word for love. And I don't think love, like I think there's different w different versions of love. And actually, that's why I like Greeks, because they actually have a lot of different versions for love.

SPEAKER_01 41:37

Well, and I think that love stands for so many different things. It's not just, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:41

So it says, I think the greatest loves of our lives are not always the people who accompany us to the end. Sometimes they're the people who introduce us to versions of ourselves we've never even met otherwise. The person who taught you what being understood felt, the person who taught you what loneliness felt like, the person who expanded your capacity for joy or for grief or tenderness, the person after whom every love is measured differently, not better, just different. And maybe that's why I no longer ask whether people end up together, because it's such a small question. Did they change each other? That's the one. Did they leave each other larger than they found each other? Did they permanently alter the shape of one another's lives? And that's true, whether you get divorced or not, right? Yeah. Who gives a shit?

SPEAKER_01 42:27

No, and I do believe, I do believe, like, look, I believe that, like I was with Hugo since I was 15, you know? And I do believe that there was a purpose in for us. There was a purpose for me. I do feel like I was meant to be in him, in his life to help him maybe face his demons, right? Address his trauma, go through, show him because he didn't have a family really, like the dynamic with his family has always been very like distant and just a little estranged, right? Maybe at my purpose in his life was to show him what a family is, right? Because my family is very united. My family, even now, like my family is supporting him, right? Emotionally. You know, they're always telling him, like, you're always gonna be family. Like, you, if you need somebody to talk to, you can call us. Like, we love you, you know, you're here. And I think that was my purpose in his life, is to for him to get to see what a family looks like, what a family can be, but also like what unconditional love looks like. He didn't have that from his mom, you know, growing up. And he was meant to show me like everything I don't need in a man growing up, and also like what a strong woman can be like. How I can be like, Well, he helped you grow and he mirrored things to you. He helped me grow. He gave me, you know, I have my children who are my kids are incredibly like strong willed, opinionated. There is no brainwashing my kids, especially my daughters. My two girls, they are just a force of nature, you know, one's an Aries and one's a Taurus. And let me tell you, they live up to that, you know.

SPEAKER_02 44:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

That the their signs. They're both like, no, like you're not gonna let like they're, you know, you're not gonna let like my daughter was telling me the other day, why is grandpa doing? Why is grandpa saying this to you? Why is grandpa being like this with you? She's like, oh, I need to have a conversation with grandpa, and it is not gonna end good. So they've got gump shit. Yeah, yeah. They're just like everything that I didn't have at their age, they have. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:34

You know, and that just imagine them now, like imagine them in 20 years.

SPEAKER_01 44:38

Yes. But that is what we've gifted them with because we've give because I've gifted them with that freedom to always be themselves, to be confident. I've never shamed them, you know. I've gifted them like with allowing them to speak their mind, even though it's it's a double-edged sword, right? Because they even speak their mind with me and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you know? Yeah. And but that's a gift rage. Yeah, you know, I was always silenced as a child. Even now, like when I talk to my dad, I it's crazy how with anybody else I can be like, hold the fuck up. You are not gonna talk to me like this. But when it comes to my dad, yeah, I'm like, I'm just like Are you frozen a bit? You know? Yeah. And I'm like, you know, like I don't even know what to say because I'm like, my mind is like, don't be disrespectful, don't be disrespectful, don't be disrespectful. And his wife has stepped in and been like, hey, leave her alone, let her live her life. Yeah, stop telling her what to do, you know?

SPEAKER_00 45:36

What I heard, Gabby, was that, and I think this is so true, and I my mom has also said this. I was listening to this astrology thing, and she said, most of the time, we are the opposite of our parents and how we parent. Meaning, if our parent was silenced us, we're gonna give our kids the opposite because we know what it's like to be silenced, right? But she said, But our internal world, even though we're giving our kids the opposite, it's usually our internal world is what our parents gave to us. So we have to unprogram and uncondition ourselves and how we speak about ourselves, how we what we give to ourselves. Like that becomes our work, but we are usually the opposite with our kids than how we were treated, because we know what it's like to have X, Y, or Z. And I really think that is true.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

It is, it's very true. Like I just my girls can know, and it's it's pretty rad. Like they know they can come with me, come to me, and like talk to me about anything and just like tell me everything. And and sometimes I'm like, okay, I really didn't need to hear that. I didn't really need to know that. But would you rather either know it? No, but I know, but I know. So my boys have like sit there and talk to me about porn and porn hub. And I'm like, all right, you know, I really don't want to hear this. But I tell myself, like, you have to listen to these conversations if you want them to come to you when something's wrong. Right. Yeah. You know, you have to sit listen to boring conversations about, you know, in jujitsu I did this and then I did that. And I'm like, yeah, whatever. Like, I have to listen to it. I have to be in the moment with them if I want them to come to me when some big shit's happening in their life. Yeah. And they're not. Otherwise, they're not gonna trust, you know, because I didn't have that relationship with my dad, you know, with my, it was always like I've always even now, like, I'm scared. I find myself being scared to tell him something, you know, because I'm like, he's gonna judge me. Yeah, he's gonna judge me. I feel the same and he and he is, you're right. He is, he absolutely is gonna. He says he doesn't judge me, but he is judging me. He is judging me because he's constantly telling me that I'm not living my life the way that I should be living, and that the reason everything happens bad to me is because I'm not, I don't have a relationship with God and I'm not part of a church. And that is judging me. And that is judging me. And the reason I don't go to church and and do all of these things is actually directly connected to that because he is telling me, like, you are not living. And I'm like, why am I gonna go to church and and follow these rules when I know that this is my path, right? I'm not a hypocrite. I'm not gonna go pretend like ask God for X, Y, and Z when I know that I'm not gonna follow what that church is saying. And so my brother-in-law was asking me not that long ago, Rigo, was asking me, like, why do you have such a big problem with the church? Why do you have such a big problem with the church? And it's not the church that I have a problem with, I told him. The church is not the problem. The church is beautiful, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:44

Right?

SPEAKER_01 48:44

The Bible is, I can read the Bible. The Bible's a book, it's a story, right? It's the people, it's the people that I have a problem with, right? The people that go to this church, that people that believe that just because they're there, it's the energy. Just because they're there, they get to turn around and point at you. Well, they feel like they're on a pestle. These three fingers pointed at them. Yeah. And it's their energy. You're absolutely right, because they go there, then they leave and they go to a party and they drink and they curse and they do all these things. And it's like human. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, like why are you pointing at me when you're you're not perfect either, you know? I said, that's the issue, right? It's not the church. It's not the church at all. Yeah, it's the hypocrisy, it's the hypocrisy and what it stands for, right? What all of these things stand for. And I said, I'm I it's not that I don't have a relationship with God. I love God. I do believe there's a God. I don't know that God looks particularly the way every yeah, like Jesus. And I just I believe there is a higher source and I do feel that that presence at times, and I do pray. I do thank God for every day. I thank God for my health. I I just I'm just have my own way of like I take a little bit of this and a little bit of that and a little bit of a few.

SPEAKER_00 50:00

I have my own sense of ritual. Yeah. My own.

SPEAKER_01 50:03

And I've made my own Bible, you know, I've made my own book that I follow. And I really truly believe that as long as we are being good human beings, yeah, we are leading with love and kindness for ourselves and others and being kind to the source of nature, right? Caring for Mama Gaia, right? Honoring that. Well, honoring the sacredness of actually fucking life. Yes. I truly believe that I'm living a righteous life, you know? I'm living a fulfilled life. I'm I don't, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 50:36

If I'm in soul alignment, right? And I'm honoring my soul alignment and and I'm honoring the, like you said, Gab, like the sacredness of life itself and finding gratitude for that. What else like, you know, that's that's enough for me. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, and can it just be enough to prove it?

SPEAKER_01 50:54

They yeah, that if that works for them, hey, that works for you. This is about being neutral. This is about you're not right and I'm not wrong. Correct. You're not wrong and I'm not right. It's about, hey, boo, you do you and I'm gonna do me, and we can cook.

SPEAKER_00 51:12

And I get to feel safe in that. And I hope you feel safe in whatever you're doing. Exactly. I'm gonna feel safe in what I'm doing. And I don't need the that you're giving me that I'm doing something wrong when to me, I know in my heart and soul that I'm following what I need to follow. And Gab, that I know you need to probably go. So, like, I want you to keep following that. And even when it's hard, and I know you know this, but I'm I wish I could hug you. I know you're on such a big day of your life. I feel really honored that we get to have on the podcast together. It makes me teary. And I wish I could hug you because I I wish I could give you a bit of support and love, and I'm with you, and you're on the cusp of a beautiful recalibration and transformation and whole new fucking book of your life. That is exciting. That is exciting, and you're following your heart and you're following your soul, even when it's hard. That is, there's not a word that I feel like has enough power to it that I can think of in this moment. It is monumental and it is huge, and I'm so excited for you. And I can also honor that it's very emotional and it's emotionally exhausting. And I think healing at times is fucking emotionally exhausting, and that's valid too. And I think I hope over the weekend you can find some fucking quiet time to go sit at the beach or sit at the ocean and just allow those waves of emotion to roll over you and honor it and love it and also keep moving forward and keep following your path because it's not leading you astray. And you're there for your family and you're there for your loved ones and you love them and you care for them. And that this story we're in right now is not the story that you're gonna look back and anyone's gonna tell themselves. And I know that's fucking hard, but I do believe in that.

SPEAKER_01 52:55

Yeah, and I agree. And and today is that final page, right? Today is like the end, bitch, you know. And tomorrow is a new story, a new book that's gonna be gonna be written.

SPEAKER_00 53:08

And I have the um Natasha Bettingfield song playing in my head right now. So anywho.

SPEAKER_01 53:14

Yeah, I just think, and and that's how I imagine my drive, my final drive to Southern California to be just like that. Like somebody told me, like, I hope that the weather's nice so you can roll down the windows and turn up the music.

SPEAKER_00 53:28

Music, that's right.

SPEAKER_01 53:29

I'm gonna send you unwritten by Natasha Beddingfield and vibe to that because like it's gonna be emotional the whole ride, you know. It really, really is. I'm I'm I know that, but I'm also gonna embrace that, right? I'm gonna embrace it, you know, and just run with the punches, right? Roll with the punches, you know. If one day's hard, one day's hard, God knows the last few months have been incredibly hard. You know, my health has taken a toll, like the stress level, just everything, you know, has been it has just thrown everything off. Like I haven't worked out, you know, and that takes a toll on me. Like I haven't been eating because just I haven't felt well. I've been so tired. Like a lot of times all I want to do is sleep, you know, just so many, so many different aspects of being in survival, you know. So I'm ready to just get back on track and go routine and start getting to it all. And I'm excited. I'm excited to meet new people, to new connections, to new friends, new, you know, new gym, new, new everything, new everything, you know?

SPEAKER_02 54:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:34

Where nobody fucking knows me because this place, everybody knows me, you know. So I'm just like excited to just be, you know, and not have like, hey, how you doing, you know? So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:45

Yeah, you got to start a new, a new chapter, and I'm excited. We'll we'll get to be here along the way and hear all like the tea, the juiciness, the what's coming up. We can't wait to hear it all. But yeah, yeah, me too. I love you. I love you, Rach. I love you, and congratulations, right? On making these steps, on doing this and choosing you on a new chapter, on a new life, on that that manifestation is now coming true, right? And that's in it that came from aligned action, but also the universe met you, right? Two jobs, the universe met you. So keep going. It's gonna keep meaning you. It's your aligned action and the universe, and you know this, but it's beautiful, it's beautiful to witness, and I feel lucky to do it. And I love you. Text me when you kind of when you get there this weekend, and I can't wait for an update. Hey, love you, Rach. Bye. Have a good weekend. Bye. You too. What up, y'all? We are so thankful and excited that you're here. If you're loving the show, feeling the show, please think about sharing it with a friend who could also get something out of it. We're also asking for your help. If you could rate the show or write a review, that way we can grow and expand together. Reach the right people who need and are meant to hear this message. I know it's super easy not to do it, but every single rating and review helps this show grow so much. We appreciate it more than you know. Thanks so much for supporting Relentlessly Authentic. This is raw unfiltered conversations on healing, identity shifts, nervous system regulation, and the messy middles that crack you open and change everything. New episodes every Wednesday.