What the F*ck to Stop Doing While Dating (If You Actually Want Healthy Love)

What if the relationship you’re craving isn’t found by trying harder… but by becoming more honest with yourself?

In this episode of Relentlessly Authentic, Frank Iosso returns for one of our most honest and nuanced conversations yet about modern dating, emotional maturity, masculine and feminine dynamics, and what it really takes to build healthy relationships.

Together, we explore the tension so many of us feel between independence and intimacy. How do you receive love without losing yourself? How do you remain open-hearted while still honoring your standards? And what happens when the very walls built to protect you become the thing keeping you disconnected?

We dive into:
• why self-awareness is the foundation of every healthy relationship
• the difference between hyper-independence and authentic empowerment
• masculine and feminine dynamics in dating
• emotional safety and creating secure relationships
• the intentions behind modern dating and partnership
• accountability, cheating, and rebuilding trust
• how past wounds shape present relationships
• the importance of authenticity in attracting aligned partners
• the differences in how men and women process emotions and conflict
• why personal growth changes the way you love

This conversation isn’t about blaming men or women.

It’s about understanding ourselves deeply enough to stop repeating the same patterns.

Find Rachael on Instagram @highvibeyogii

Find Gaby on Instagram @rising.monarca and @gabrielafverdusco on Tik Tok 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:23

It's June, guys. Welcome to June bitching. It's summertime.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

I'm feeling the summer.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

The summer energy. I love that North Carolina summer. Baby, it's gonna be hot today. 92 degrees. Yeah. It's like, I think it's supposed to be like almost 80 over here, like 70 in the high 70s. Not too bad. Yesterday was really nice. Can I tell you guys? My son graduated high school yesterday, and you guys don't understand what of a headache it was to like get him to graduate high school. My two older kids were like so easy. But him, he like two weeks ago, he brought me a two-page fine for $1,600. And he's like, Mommy, I need to pay these this off, or I'm not gonna walk. And I said, I think you're not gonna walk. And he's like, No, no, no, I I gotta pay for this. And I said, No, no, no, you gotta find this stuff. It was like three laptops, 15 different books, football equipment. And I was like, dude, what what what did you do with all this stuff? Why did you check out three computers when I bought you a MacBook for you? And he's like, Oh, well, like I forget it sometimes. So, like sometimes I just borrow a computer from the library. And I'm like, and you don't turn it in. And he's like, Well, I just leave it in like another classroom or something. He's like, They told me they're not gonna go find it. So if I don't turn it in, I'm not gonna graduate.

SPEAKER_04 1:47

Jeez.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

I was like, Well, I guess you better start looking for those computers and books and everything. You should have seen them, but he found it all. He found it all. I was so happy. I was like, I'm sorry, because he got down to like 300 and he's like, can we pay the 300? I was like, no, I'm not paying anything. I'm sorry, I'm not paying anything.

SPEAKER_04 2:07

It's funny that I was afraid to ask my mom. I owed like 60 bucks the day before high school. The day before your graduation? Yeah. And I I didn't want to ask my mom, so I was like, fuck, I guess I'm not gonna graduate. And then I had my bank account, I had no money, right? I had dollars in my Chase account. I overdrafted and got enough money to pay. And that's how I graduated high school.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

How did you overdraft? You had no money in there.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

The thing is, is that if you go to like those gas station tellers and put it in, they'll charge you, but they'll still give you the money.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Like cash back?

SPEAKER_04 2:43

Yeah. So they gave me all my money and they gave me my $8 plus whatever I asked for, and they gave it all to me, and I overdrafted another 40. So I graduated.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

I mean, like kids are resilient, right? They can figure their shit out when they need it. Not just resilient, evidently resourceful, too. That's the word I mean.

SPEAKER_04 3:03

Trust me, I would have stole something if I had to.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

I would have robbed an old lady to graduate high school before asking my mom for 60 bucks. So why didn't you want to ask your mom? Were you scared? Like, were you?

SPEAKER_04 3:14

I was never afraid of my mom. It's just I was so independent since a young age. It was almost like, I don't need you and I'll figure it out. Not saying I wasn't beef with my mom, but I didn't really depend on nobody even till then. Like I wouldn't even accept school money from my mom at times.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

So it was more like a pride thing.

SPEAKER_04 3:30

Yeah, like I could figure it out on my own, which is actually a lot of the way I am now, you know, I don't really ask for anything. But I think as you get older, you know, people give you things and you're like, no, no, no, no. I've learned that accepting gifts is actually the way people show love at times. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a love language.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Yeah, it's the art of receiving, right? So, like you have to also be okay with receiving, especially if somebody takes time, right?

SPEAKER_04 3:56

Yeah. Before, like in my earlier 20s, I don't need it. Don't just take it back. But in reality, you're really crushing people's souls sometimes. Somebody finds you a nice watch or a nice shirt, and they'll go to the mall and look and they're spending time and energy. And I understand that now. Somebody gives me something, I hold it to like the greatest gratitude. Like, I appreciate it. Like they took the time to maybe look online and maybe look at this outfit with it. Like, who knows? Nothing's just like, no, there's there, there's a process, there's work behind it. So gift giving or people giving is a skill set that I had to learn. I had to learn how to receive. And it's definitely a good topic to talk about.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

Yeah, yeah. I feel like I've had a hard time receiving too, not just receiving things, but receiving compliments and receiving, my mom would always tell us, me and my sister growing up, don't ever want to depend on a man. You always want to make sure that you make your own money, you have your own stuff, because she would just tell us, like, at any day, that man can decide, I don't want to be with you anymore and get up and leave. And if you have no skills and you have no money, you're depending solely on this person, you're gonna be left with nothing. So she would always tell us, you guys have to work, always work, make your own money, always take care of yourself, which is a really good benefit, right? It was beneficial for us to learn that. But at the same time, it could be a double-edged sword, right? Because then you become very hyper-independent, right? I guess prideful too, right? Like you're like, I don't need anybody, I don't need a man, I don't need anything in my life, right? I can take care of myself and I can do it all on my own. And that kind of opened the door for me to be like not open to receiving, right? From anyone. So it can be a double-edged sword, I think.

SPEAKER_04 5:39

Are we recording or no? We are. Oh, I was like, man, we're getting into a lot of conversation and we haven't no, but going I've had conversations with people like, yeah, it's great to be independent, it's great to make your own money, but there is a need of a man and a woman. Yeah, a sense of like some women just want to, like, oh, I I I love to be held. You're not gonna be able to do that yourself. Or there's certain aspects of what you need, but like financial stuff and maybe getting shit done, you know, like, no, you got all that, but your needs are somewhere else. Everybody has their own needs within a companion because an independent woman is great to me. I'd rather have an independent woman because I always see it as in the fact we have kids, or if they're looking after my kids, or whatever, if something happens to me and I pass away today or tomorrow, I want to make sure my woman is like, she got it under control. She's an independent woman. She's gonna be able to do this and this, she's gonna pay off the house, she's gonna make sure my kids go to college. Like she knows my goals for them. That's why it's important to have an independent woman. Having a woman that doesn't really have a lot of wisdom or knowledge or kind of not really put themselves out there, if something would happen to like in the quotation man, right, all of a sudden she's left with nothing. She doesn't know what to do. She's asking others what she should do with the life insurance. Or I'd rather have a strong independent woman, but I'm filling her voids on what she needs with love, affection, the stuff that she can't do for herself. Because a woman really can't have that compassion and be hugged or be held or be loved or feel wanted or feel, you know, those like soft emotions without an individual. But this also goes for a man too. It's it's the same boat because a man needs certain things as well. And at the end of the day, I feel like men hide it a little bit better, but women are hiding it very well these days, you know, because they're getting stronger and they're not getting it from a man. So they're gonna have to kind of like attribute these skill sets for themselves. But I see nothing wrong with an independent woman. I actually, that's what I veer towards because they're human and I rather learn from someone in any aspect of a way. But with relationships, everybody really needs that compassion. Those hugs matter. You can't hug yourself.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

No, absolutely. I 100% agree. I think for a long time I felt like, I don't need a man. I don't need a man. I can do whatever I want for myself. And maybe it's true that you don't need anyone, right? But you are gonna get to a point where you want someone in your life. No thinking. You want someone to hold you, you want someone to make you feel seen, to make you feel supported, to make you feel special, right? I mean, it's connection, right? You want connection. I think humans, that's what it is about. I think we a lot of times mistake it for a lot of other things, but I think it's that connection that you really crave, right? So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Being a human. And like I in my mind too is like being able to give and receive love. And I don't know if we always have that, like you said, Gab, like that mindset or those being in a state of just like, oh, I just want to be able to like be loved and love another person and receive that and give that, right? And I think, Gavin, we talked about this in the last episode. I think as women, we have so much to give. And I think the hyper independence, like you said, Frank, is almost like a mask or a boundary for I want to be able to give and feel safe that I'm giving it to like the right person, right? And so I'm gonna like guard up fuck men, fuck this, fuck that, until I can soften and I can feel safe with the right person to be able to give and receive love. On the next layer of that though, I think a lot of people, like, how are you gonna be able to give and receive if you're in survival mode, right? When you do have trauma or you do have pain and you do have issues, right? It's kind of like you're also blocking yourself from any of creation and abundance and ideas and imagination, right? Like when we're in that sense of survival or we've been hurt or we've been pain, or we have these subconscious beliefs that, like, I don't need a man and I need to do it on my own. Like, I don't need anybody. Fuck the world. And though I understand that outlook, the reality is that we do need human connection to live a healthy, happy life, right? You need connection to yourself, right? And you need connection to others. That's a part of your basic human needs.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

You're blocking the magnetism, right? You're not, you're not gonna be magnetic.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

Correct. And so when we don't even have that basic need met, and then we've had pain and trauma layered on top of that to create a bigger gap between you and letting anyone else in to help or to give support, right? If we don't have any of that and those basic needs aren't getting met, right, we're also not kind of living to having love and joy and abundance and able to, like you said, have things actually come in and have them land, meaning that your capacity to be able to hold those things is in connected to your ability to regulate. And I think safety is a big piece of that, especially for women. I think men too, but like you said, Frank, I think they've just masked it for so long that like I think men are on the journey of kind of opening back up and kind of seeing what that more softer side kind of is, and that that's not a weakness, but it's actually a strength of when you can share it with someone who loves and respects and supports you. I think that is the future, right? And I think we've actually had to kind of rebuild our values almost as a society and re-understand what our personal values are and what we want in our life and what our version of success is and health is. You know, I kind of combine this in this kind of health world. I think in order to be fully healthy, you need to be able to connect with other humans and to yourself.

SPEAKER_04 11:30

So, regardless of what anybody thinks, human connection is equated to the longevity of your life. People have to grasp that. Human connection is equated to longevity of your life, right? It is important. So if people think it's, oh, I'm gonna do this on my own, percentage-wise, it's not gonna work out as long for you. You know what I mean? And we want to live long, healthy lives. Because live mentally healthy, physically healthy, emotionally healthy, all of that. And going back to safe space, it's funny, I had this conversation yesterday with someone. And the thing is, like, I feel like my duty as a man, if you're dating anybody or seeing anybody with significance, is that a woman is soft. I see them as a soft human, right? Because at the end of the day, you can meet a hard woman and she's tough and she's grinding. But at the end of the day, her internal self is a soft woman that wants to be protected. They don't want to be on the front line. They want the man on the front line while they're in the back, right? So, in the sense, any man that's dealing with a woman, you need to break that boundary in the sit in the sense of making them feel safe. Because any woman that you're doing right to, they've become submissive. It doesn't matter if this is the hardest woman in the world, but it's the man's job to create that safe space, the trust space, the space that makes them feel heard, makes them feel wanted, makes them feel respected. It's a man's job. Create that space for the woman because I've always heard like I hear some men be like, oh, like she's not this way. Like, dude, you need to create that. You need to create that the same way, like she earns your time. You need to earn that. You need to earn, no woman's just gonna be like, hey, protect me. Like, no, they're gonna find the version of themselves, they're gonna look for the best protector that protects their life in their way, you know, because some women need emotional protection, some women need physical protection, but it depends what woman you're dealing with. But in the sense, one of my duties as a man, and in the sense of if I'm dating with intention, which we'll get into right now, is you got to create that space for that woman so they could feel the emotions that they want so they can just let their hair down, let loose, and kind of just sit back, you know?

SPEAKER_01 13:45

You're gonna watch that woman bloom, right? Like you're creating a space for a woman to fucking bloom essentially for herself, and then you get to be a part of that because you've provided that space.

SPEAKER_04 13:55

Because you got front row seed to the bloom.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Exactly. Like, what else is more like fucking beautiful than that? Like, what else is like more beautiful than watching like a woman be able to because he knows you've got her, and do you know how much she's gonna fucking radiate? And then from that radiation, abundance is going to be brought in joy. And I don't mean just fucking financial, I mean joy, I mean pleasure, I mean love. Like she's going to fulfill your life in so many ways, and that's why it's a give and a take, a give and receive, right? You're giving that space of safety and protection, and I've got you energy, and she's going to give you everything that she can and all of her heart and her softness, which in my opinion is what men want, right?

SPEAKER_04 14:41

Exactly. But there's also a flip side. There's also a flip side. So, in the sense, women, well, I say I want somebody to date me with intention, of course, right? And I've been on first dates before. And like, hey, what do you want with me? I haven't determined that yet. But the thing is, there's two flip sides. A man's gonna create the safe space and create this world for a woman, right? But in the sense, a woman needs to put up the right values, the right attributes for a man to set these intentions, right? Because it takes two. So I've been on first dates in the sense of a woman be like, Hey, what's your intentions with me? This is a first date. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

And I'm telling you now, you can say my intention with you is to get to know you a little better right now.

SPEAKER_04 15:26

Yeah, and it's a common question. I think it's actually, you know, I'm glad I'm on here, and I know people might take offense to this, but it's the worst question to ask in the first date. No, this is T.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

This is T, but I frank, I don't do you see that as a red flag.

SPEAKER_04 15:40

No, I don't see it as a red flag. I do not see it as a red flag. I see it as an opportunity to let me explain. Like, for example, if I'm dating, there's a new person across from me. Hey, and hey Frank, what's your intentions with me? They're not set yet because I don't know enough about you.

SPEAKER_00 15:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:55

And they're like, but you don't want to do this to you. I no, no, no, no, no, no. You're not listening. I don't know what my intentions are with you because I know the intentions. The real question women should be asking is Frank, what are your intentions for the longevity of your life?

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Well, like, what do you want? What do you want?

SPEAKER_04 16:12

Yes. What are you looking for? Yeah. Questions. There's two questions. So the question is, what are your intentions with me? Girl, I got no intentions with you. I don't know if you're gonna be my friend. I don't know, I don't know what you're gonna be. The real question that women should be asking is, hey, what's your goal in your relationship status at the end of your life? Like, what do you want? Like, what are your intentions? What are your goals in the sense of a relationship status? Something like that, I can answer deeply. Yeah, I want to grow old with someone. I want to potentially get married again. I want to fall in love. Yes, these are things I want, but I don't know if it's gonna be you. You know what I mean? The thing is that women want these answers, but the thing is like they know they don't want that with you yet because there's not enough. But they want you to say, hey, I want to fall in love with you. I want to get married with you. So please, I don't know if I want to do that.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

You want instant gratification. You want to know now, like what where are we going? Like, so that I don't waste my time with you, is basically what they're saying. I don't want to waste my time and energy here if you're not even taking me seriously. That's what I'm hearing. Right? There's an insecurity, there's an insecurity right off the bat, and that is a red flag.

SPEAKER_04 17:22

No, so the thing is is that you know why I don't see it as a red flag? Because I see it as misinformation. Because, in the sense, we live in that world, you guys know that. So, in the sense, if I get a chance to elaborate and say, hey, I think you're great, I wouldn't be sitting here with you if you weren't great, but there's no way to set intentions if I've only known you for six days. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 17:43

Like, I met you.

SPEAKER_04 17:45

Yeah, you guys understand that. But the thing is that I hear my friends in my sense, like I've dealt with it before. Like, what do your intentions mean? I've known you for like four days. Like, how what do you mean, intentions? Like, you want to get married? Should we leave now? Should I should we go to the my jeweler and and and get you a new diamond? I got you, baby. I I'll do it, baby.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

Oh my gosh, I can't, I can't, but praise to you, honestly, because I think how you handle it is like so regulated of like, hey, like I just met you, but like this is what I want in relationship. Like you said, like how beautiful I want to grow old with someone. That's my intention. And I feel like I appreciate you saying it's not a red flag. I also kind of agree with Gabs. I find it to be a little desperate, I think. Like, what's your intention with me? Like coming out right out of the gate when what you're doing, Frank, is allowing her to like relax a little bit, of like, you know, you're not getting defensive of like, oh, like I just met you. You're just being like, hey, I don't know yet, right? And like you're taking it down a notch, which I think is what the situation probably needs. And hopefully that helps her. But I do feel like it's I just to like back up, like I do think there's issues in both the feminine and the masculine. And I think the feminine really goes after the masculine, which I don't think is necessarily fair. Like it takes two to fucking tango, right? Like it's we all have there's all darkness and light within us all, right? Like there's all like good and bad, there's pleasure, pain, right? There's it's always two. And that's why we have the masculine, the feminine, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Because yeah, I think that honestly, like if somebody sits down and says, What isn't your intent? That right off the bat tells me, like, I want to have control. Yeah, I want to control the situation. I want to control everything. I want to know where I stand, I want to know now. And I don't want to, and that's not what a relationship, a partnership is not about control. Like my mentality is more like, and again, this is just me, right? Why does there have to be labels? Why does there have to be timelines? Like, why? You know, why can't we just be, right? Why can't we just be and go with the flow and see what happens? Like, why do we have to talk about these things? You know, because the minute you start to talk about those things, it sets the tone for things, right? And it's hard to kind of just go with the flow after that because I don't care what anybody says, there's already been a seed planted in somebody's mind about that person or this person. And for me, it's more like like we don't know what it's gonna be like. She says we might be friends, we might be friends with benefits, you might be my girlfriend, you might meet my what, like who knows? Like nobody can tell the future. Why are we worried? Like, we do these things where we are so worried about our controlling our future that we don't enjoy the now, right? Because we're so hyper-focused on like, I want to know where my future is gonna hold, I want to know where it's going. You know, we want to control all of that. And I think life is really about allowing ourselves to release control, especially for women. I think women and I agree with you, Rachel. I agree with that. A lot of women will say, Oh, men are so controlling, men are so controlling. First of all, yeah, they can be. They can't be controlling, but you have to allow it, right? And if you allow it from the beginning, then whose responsibility is it? Right?

SPEAKER_04 20:56

And what you're accepting is what you're allowing. You know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

So so if you're accepting for somebody to control your life, baby, change it. Change it.

SPEAKER_04 21:06

It's funny because I've had people on my lives before even hitting me up on my DMs for advice with the relationship. My husband's been cheating on me and I'm not okay with it. If you're not okay with it, then leave. If you're staying, that means you're okay.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

And and and I have had to learn this even in my relationship. There was so much blame for so many years that I put on him, on my kid's dad. And he did this and he did that, which he did, right? But I allowed it. I stayed, which then made it acceptable to continue to do. And then one day I just woke up and was like, I don't want to, I don't want to put up with this anymore. And obviously in his mind, he was like, What the fuck happened? Like, what you know, like everything's nothing's changed, right? No, I changed. I changed and I don't want to allow it. So if you're gonna sit there and complain about it, I and I now know that I've had to take responsibility for my wrongdoing in the relationship. Because, like you said, it takes two to tango. It wasn't just a one-sided thing, right? I allowed it. There's a lot of things that I did or didn't do that allowed him to behave the way he behaved. When a marriage ends or a relationship ends, I don't think it's just one-sided. And if somebody's cheating on you, you have to understand, in my perspective, is that tells you more about them than it does about you. Because there is something that is lacking in them that they are looking externally to fulfill, right? That in their mind you're not, you're not fulfilling for whatever reason, right? But it has really nothing to do with you. It has more to do with them. And chances are that he moves on with somebody else and he's gonna cheat again, cheat again until he he decides to do the work to like heal that part of him.

SPEAKER_04 22:44

There's also, I never condone cheating. So let me start to say that before maybe have this conversation. But in the sense of some situations, right? Say a man and a woman are together and the woman's treating him like shit, disrespecting him, not giving him love, not valuing him. I don't say cheating's right, but the counterpoint also does have a piece because he's not feeling, he's not being fulfilled at home. So in the sense that's why he's looking. I'm not saying it's right. I'll continuously say that. But at the times it does take two. If he's being diminished as a man and being, and there's a lot of things that she's not doing, then obviously he's starting to look somewhere else, right? And so, and it goes with women if they're not being fulfilled. I'm not saying, I'm not saying that it's right. I'm not saying it's right.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

It's human behavior, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Like there is a sense of my thing is like your human behavior is whether it's right or wrong, right? That's our construct. I think there's senses of the needs are not getting met, there's internal issues going on, they're not being communicated or talked about, and then you're only left with certain things. And our behavior is controlled by our subconscious mind, right? So, like, there's so many different layers of this that we don't that so many invite, right? Things are not black and white. And I think cheating happens when there has been a breakdown way before the cheating happened, right? There's been a breakdown in the relationship for a long time, and that communication has not happened. And then people get resentful and bitter and don't want to talk about it or work on it or work on themselves because the best thing you can do for another person is to work on yourself, thus the cheating. And then if we want to point the finger, we certainly can point the finger, but that allows you not to take any accountability, which allows nothing to actually change. And I think the miscommunication comes from, you know, we become kind of like a lawyer and a lawyer, right? And fighting against each other instead of trying to find the middle ground of like, is this relationship serving anymore? And if it's not, that's also okay. It's okay for things to fall apart and to then move on to the next thing. I think we've put way too much pressure on like having a successful relationship and actually together for the sake of the kids, for the sake of that. We only have one life. Like, how you want to live it in this? And I think again, everything's a mirror, right? So, like your relationship is a mirror. Other people are a mirror. And you have to look at how you're contributing to the situation. Where can you take responsibility? And where is the responsibility of the world?

SPEAKER_02 25:16

What can I learn from here, right? What can I learn from you? I think that people come into our life like relationships come into what my marriage did for me was show me my shadows, reveal my shadows, right? Reveal the parts of me that I needed to work on. That's a gift. That's a gift. Yes. And I know that that relationship served that purpose in my life, right? And then also I think a lot of people don't understand when people are having these arguments and like pointing the finger at each other. A lot of times these people are having two very different arguments. They're not having the same argument, they're having two very different arguments, so they're never gonna get nowhere because they're so focused on like you did this and you did that, and not being able to be like, okay, I'm hearing you. Like they're listening, but they're not hearing either.

SPEAKER_04 26:03

Because neither one wants to take accountability.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

Everybody wants to be like, I did this because it's your fault. That's what I hear when people argue. So get this. The other day I heard a conversation, and I want to bring this up because it blew my mind. So there's a family member when they were on the phone with their brother, and they were on speaker, and he was saying to his brother, no, bro, the thing is that you gotta understand women, they're emotional beings, right? Which I agree. I'm like, okay. And he's like, so when women cheat, it's really cheating, bro. When men cheat, it's not because women like they get emotionally, their emotions, their feelings dead and you know, attached. But when men cheat, it's just like I got my wife and I love her, and this is just like a side chick. And I was like, what? And he was like trying to say, like, it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing. It's so much worse when a woman cheats because they become, they're really cheating, they're invested, right? But when men cheat, it's not. So that's why it's okay for men to cheat, but not for women.

SPEAKER_04 27:06

Yeah, it's that it's it's like, what the fuck? Whatever that means, like, I don't know what he was trying to elaborate because there's actually a scene in a movie that somebody says that and he was saying it incorrectly. And regardless of the fact, it's wrong either way, right?

SPEAKER_00 27:19

And right, cheating is cheating.

SPEAKER_04 27:21

I promise you this, and I don't know who the guy is, and I hope he listens one day, right? Because I keep it raw. I keep it raw. Keep it raw, brain. If his woman cheated on him, he'll cry like a little bitch, right? And I promise you, him cheating on his woman and then his woman cheating on him, he will be sad and depressed. No do to others what you don't want done back to you, right? And in the sense, don't be in a relationship then. If you want to have multiple people, don't be in a relationship, right? It's as easy as that. Or it's a relationship. Yeah, there's plenty of people out there that are plenty of people that want to do a lot of stuff, right?

SPEAKER_02 27:58

There really is. Living in a time where you can be transparent about your sexuality, about women, about if you like women, if you like men, if you like, you like both, you want animals, like whatever you you know, whatever tickled your pickle. You know, we live in a time where you know you can be transparent and honest about these things. There's no reason to do these things. Really, there's not. Like Frank said, you can have multiple friends, right? And just make it clear that this is what it is, right? I'm sure there's other people out there that are open to those kinds of things.

SPEAKER_04 28:28

People want to eat their cake and have it too. And there's, I think, like, especially like in the last hundred years or 50 years, there's certain phrases that are so true to the test of time. People want to eat their cake and have it too. The truth hurts. People want both. And unfortunately, you can't have both because at the end of the day, they're gonna bounce. Somebody's gonna lead. And if you want to have multiple women or a woman wants to have multiple men, you let them know, like, hey, we're not gonna be in a relationship because I like to date. And if you can't handle that, then you're not for me. Trust me, that woman can find plenty of men that are okay with that. And that man can find plenty of women that are okay with that in that world. There's group messages, there's so many things. But the thing is, is that to talk about your wife like that is actually a reflection on you. Because I don't care what anybody says. He's thinking, oh, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. It's terrible fucking advice, right? But the thing is, is that if he gets caught or something happens, he doesn't understand that pain on the other side because it's not happening to him. And believe me, this if you think a woman's not gonna, oh, she'll never cheat her, she'll never do this, she'll never do this. Trust me, you push somebody far enough, a man or a woman, they can do the craziest things. You hear of things, people picking up cars off uh to save their baby. You know what I mean? If you push somebody far enough, they can leave, they could do anything, right? So, in the sense, that guy giving his homeboy advice like that is stupidity. It's obnoxious, right? Like it's ignorance, it's complete ignorance. No, it's stupidity. It's like it's worse than ignorance. It's like like it's a low IQ advice, right? And in the sense, like, if I have a married friend, I have married friends, and I'll tell them, hey, you like, I'm not saying any of my friends are trying to cheat or anything like that, but you're not gonna cheat around me. You're not gonna do this around me. You don't want to know why? Because there's so much pain between breakups, there's so much pain, especially if there's love involved. And some people don't bounce back for years and years that they date incorrect and they they're sad.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

They internalize everything, right?

SPEAKER_04 30:38

They're emotionally damaged, they gain weight, they stop eating, they lose their jobs, they start losing money. So many things attribute to being sad. And I promise you, if you love a woman or a man or a woman loves a man and they cheat, expect if you get caught, there's fucking pain. And that means maybe you have a beautiful body or your financial status is all the way up there. Some of that could be fucking drained to nothing because now you're looking quick fixes, you know. So it's terrible advice. But the thing is, is that he's never felt the other pain on the other side. So he's coming from not knowing, you know.

SPEAKER_02 31:15

No, he did. His woman left him, so that's why I was so baffled. Because I was like, This motherfucker, like, what the fuck? You know, I'm just I'm like he's on his own healing journey. This is like, like somebody once told me, like, a lot of men are really dumb. And I didn't really believe that until now. Why are you sitting here giving advice?

SPEAKER_04 31:34

Like men and men and women, there's less awareness, and men don't have awareness of certain things because they don't want to listen. And a lot of women have don't have a lot of awareness. Like for in the instance, going back to the intention thing, a woman asking that within the first 10 minutes of knowing them is like, it's actually, I don't mean, I don't want to, I hate calling people stupid, but we'll use the word. It's kind of a stupid ass question. And men talking like this, but the thing is that everything is awareness. And to me, if I get in a conversation with that guy about cheating or whatever, me as a friend or as acquaintance, or if we're talking about it, it's my goal to put awareness. Because I feel like when you're aware of something, you actually will think about it, right? And if somebody can grasp your attention to put the right level of awareness, all of a sudden they start thinking different, right? And that's where relatability comes in. That's where some sort of human connection. And I'm starting to figure out that my skill set or somebody had told me my light is able to grasp people's attention in this way that they'll listen to you in the sense of putting awareness into their life, right? I hate using the word stupid because I think a lot of women are not aware, a lot of men are not aware, and people like you ladies are able to grasp people's attention. And I feel like it's the skill set you guys have that you can put awareness into these men and women's life so they could actually be better, right? Instead of asking these questions or instead of talking like that. Because I think it's coming from a state of not knowing.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

And when you don't and also being wounded, right?

SPEAKER_01 33:09

Well, that's what I was saying. Again, they're not aware, which means that if they're not aware, it means that this is coming again from your subconscious, right? Because you're not conscious of why you're really asking those questions or why you're really saying that, right? It's coming from a deeper place. And so again, I think that's a great way of saying it, Frank. Like you have to have some sort of awareness, and that work comes when this guy chooses or this woman chooses to kind of look at the pain, right? To look at the pain, to like understand. And you're exactly right. We all have an opportunity to not spiritually bypass, but to sit with another human being, can be calm and regulated and aware that they're in a state that they're asking this question of like, what's my intention for you? Because they've probably been hurt in the past, because they've had bad experiences. That doesn't mean it's Frank's 100% responsibility to now heal this person, but it is as a human connection to be like, let's slow down. My intention is the relationship intention I have for myself, how I see my future is I want a woman to grow old with. And I think that's more of what I hope this woman is coming from is like, what's your intention, like down the road, not right here in this moment. I think it's a great question to ask, right?

SPEAKER_04 34:25

If you've been on six days and you guys have been seeing each other and talking every day.

SPEAKER_01 34:29

And she wants clarity on like, okay, yeah, that's perfect, but not what's your intention for me. For me, like the for me comes from that's about herself. And because it's ego kind of driven, right? Of like, I need to protect myself from the ego fear that it's again, it's a way to control the situation so she feels safe, that she, you know, she wants to hear the right things from you or to make her feel comfortable, to make her feel wanted, to make her feel less insecure. But the question of like what's your intention like in relationship, I do also agree. I think that's a great question. Because you don't have a question. Like, we're are we on the same, are we in the same arena?

SPEAKER_04 35:07

Tiny, timing. But women, I know there's a lot of women that listen to this, right? So I'm talking at all the women, right? In the sense, would you like me to lie to you? Yeah. Because I can do that. You know what I mean? Hey, you know, you're the woman for me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

But it's fake. It's good.

SPEAKER_04 35:25

Yeah, but the thing is that women put themselves into a world like, damn, should I lie to her? Not me, because I don't operate like that. But men are like, I don't want to fuck this up. I'm just gonna be easier. And guess what? Women, these men on the first dates, I'm telling you, if they're saying, Yeah, you're it for me, blah, blah, blah, blah, they'll have it rehearsed. These guys are fucking lying. Don't ask scary questions if you don't want scary answers. And you're asking a scary question on date number one, when in the sense, a guy like me, I speak well. I could fucking lie to you straight out of your face.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

Thank God I don't operate like that because I you know, it's funny because, like, if a guy sits down and is like, my gosh, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Like, you're so this and you're so that, right off the bat, that for me is a red flag. It should be. I know. I'm like, bye, Felicia, I'm out of here. Like, I don't, I'm not doing that. This is not what I came for. This is not what I signed up for. So, you know, those things are red flags. Like when the guys start a conversation, I hear some of these lines on TikTok, like, I'm not gonna ask, what was the saying? I'm not gonna ask how your day was. I'm gonna ask how I can make it better. Like, oh, you're this or you're that. Like, right off the bat, those are the guys that you girls need to be filtering out.

SPEAKER_01 36:40

I think with a guy, if that works on a girl, then they're a match, right? That means they can work out together. Like, they're on the same level. So, like, they need this so that they can this fucks up if there's pain in here, whatever. They need that. I also think that on a frequency energetic level, there's an ass for every C. You know what I mean? You're gonna find that person, that situation, the mirror, because you're on the same level and there's something for you to wake up to. And so I think people have to go through on their own. We can't help everybody, right? So you have to be able to meet somebody and help somebody who's ready to receive it. And I don't think everyone's ready to receive it because in their soul growth, they have to go through whatever they need to go through with this said person until they take responsibility of like, why do I keep getting fucked over? Well, maybe you need to look internally, right? Like there's something that this is trying to tell you something, right? There's some need, there's some wound, there's some trauma, there's some daddy issues, mommy issues. Like everyone thinks that they're absent from trauma. Trauma affects us fucking all. The world was fucking traumatic. Okay. And there's generations past gonna find their doorway in when they're meant to. And we can't control that.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

You know what? If somebody wants to keep tripping over the same rock, just move out of the fucking way. Let them keep tripping over the same rock. Because I, for so long, I would get frustrated with some people in my family who do the same behaviors over and over and then are like, why does this keep happening to me? And it's like, because that rock, you've tripped over it so many times, but you're not moving it out of the way. You're just stepping over it and hoping that you don't trip over it again and again and again. Like you're not getting, we're not getting to the root of the problem, right? Looking for validation from others to fulfill an emptiness that you gotta fulfill.

SPEAKER_01 38:31

But they're not aware. So the whole world needs nervous system regulation work and tools because until you subconsciously are aware of why you're doing those things or work through something, it's gonna change.

SPEAKER_02 38:44

I think there is a certain level of awareness, but I think that again, like I've said before, this work is simple, but it's not easy, right? The work is simple and it's tedious, it's very redundant. You have to do it consistently, right? You need discipline and you need consistency in your life in anything you do if you want to be successful, right? And it's not just one thing. A lot of people think, well, I'm doing the breath work and it's not working. I've been doing it for six months and it's not doing it. Yeah. Well, you don't need to just do breath work, right? You need to exercise, you need to eat healthy, you need to do the mindset work, you need to redirect your thoughts. It's not just one thing that you need to do. It's the behavior patterns. Yeah, it's the behavior patterns in you that need to be changed. And only you can do that. Nobody else, no life coach, no therapist, no shrink, no man is gonna do that for you. You gotta do it yourself, right? You can help and support, right? You can ask for support and guidance. But remember, I remember Jess would always tell us that the answers we're looking for are always within us, right? Their jobs as coaches are to ask the right questions, right? To kind of spark things and plant the seed for you to be like, like this is why I do this and this is why this happens, right? And the answers are within us, but we have to dig deep, right? And we're onions. We have to peel back layers. Like, we can't get to the center of the onion if we're on the outside still, right? There's things that we have to go through before we can get to that part. And getting to the root of the problem takes a lot of work, a lot of work. And oftentimes we will find that the root of the problem is not anything we ever thought it was. It's something else, right? And it's just kind of like trickled on to becoming this and becoming that. And I think that, you know, a lot of people might have the self-awareness to a certain extent, but they're lazy. I'm sorry, you know, you're fucking lazy. You don't want to do the words.

SPEAKER_04 40:40

It's people need to go look up the word accountability, right? And they need to read that 80 times. They need to read it, right? And in the sense why people sometimes are not aware or not growing like they should be, because the people around them, like for myself, if you fuck with me, sorry for my language, if you fuck with me, I hold you accountable. And if you want to run from me, you want someone that doesn't hold you accountable. So in reality, you put yourself in a world of no accountability people, right? Because to me, my friends and my people and everybody that I truly fuck with, they hold me accountable. Hey, Frank, you're acting a little really fuck, my bad. So they put awareness into you. So the people that have that hold you accountable and you hold them accountable are actually the people that care. But the people that, if say somebody holds me accountable for something that I was doing incorrectly, and I say, you know what, I don't want to be friends with you no more. This person doesn't tell me shit, right? So there's no growth, right? So I think the problem is a lot of society, someone that's like, oh, he's kind of holding me accountable, like, like, I don't know, let's a scenario of somebody, like somebody saying something like, hey, nobody speaks to me that way. I'm letting you know now. That's your final warning, right? There's respect. And if, oh, say a woman's in this sense, like, I'm done, I'm not dealing with him. Why? Because she wants to be able to do that to somebody, right? But in reality, it's pretty blanket. Like you should never disrespect somebody, right? For no apparent reason, right? But the thing is, is that it's accountability. Everything is accountability. And it's one of like the core words to that can attribute to a successful life, a successful mindset, everything. When you put people around you that are able to hold you accountable and you're able to be like, okay, I could get better. He's only saying it out of love, blah, blah, blah. But I think society, anybody that holds them accountable, fuck him, fuck her. Nobody's gonna tell me shit. And they bounce somebody that's gonna be like not saying nothing, right? And then they wonder why they're in a relationship, like, this ain't working because you guys are not holding each other accountable because there's a level of respect, need, want in a relationship that needs to be, you're never gonna learn somebody from the outright. If you're with someone for three or four months, hey, I didn't know that they apologize, yeah, I'll get better, vice versa. But it's taking accountability, accountability on yourself, on improving, you know, or someone telling you, hey, I don't like this, think you're wrong, and you just take accountability. But I personally think society hates that word because it puts the reflection, it puts the finger on them. But in reality, when you put the finger on yourself, it's you, the answers are within you. The answers are there. And my I know that onion theory, right? But if you want to be a gangster, you chop that onion in half and you fucking get to the middle right away. Because sometimes the answer's there. You can figure it out today because sometimes you want to get to the root, you wanna be better today, right? And sometimes most of it is people not taking accountability or dealing with ego issues, right? And if you have a huge, huge ego and you think you're right all the time, it it's a very, very, very common thing. Or if you're running from people that are holding you accountable, it's usually you don't want to be told you're wrong. You don't wanna, you don't want any finger on you. You're perfect, you know? And Unfortunately, nobody's perfect and people have their flaws. And once individuals or humans understand that they have flaws within themselves that they could fix, that they could get better, you actually will attract the right people in your life. In the sense, like I always trip out, like for myself, like me doing this podcast for whatever damn reason attracted you guys to want to do podcasts with me and interview and do all this. But I think it's because it comes down to being authentic, right? And men, women, when you're dating or talking and meeting new friends or anything, focus on the people that are being authentic. Because at the end of the day, they'll be the best people for you in your life. Because if you're hearing like these 25 people, man, that one sounds the same. That one sounds the same. That one sounds the same. They're not being authentic. The people that are just like, yeah, I don't do that because of this and this and this. Wow, okay. Kind of has his own mind. We don't have to see eye to eye. You know, me and my friends don't see it eye to eye all the time. At the same time, they're staying authentic. I'd rather people say true to the beliefs and authenticity is what people should be after. I see it as a sense if I go on a first date and somebody asks the first intention and me giving an answer like that. To me, the right woman would be like, damn, that's what's up. That should be something they're attracted to. But at times, no, I didn't want to hear that. I want somebody to say they love me today. Then so be it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 45:23

Yeah, then go for it.

SPEAKER_02 45:25

When you tell them, baby, you gotta go love yourself first. Go love yourself so that you're not looking for that love externally somewhere else.

SPEAKER_04 45:33

But going back, it is a great question, especially if you're seeing somebody for a month or two and you guys have been talking every day. It's okay to set intentions there, you know, like hey, this and that, you know, maybe this, I see this with us. You know what I mean? But first date, no, no, first date are maybe it's too early to be asking these weird questions, you know. But I've given the same answer for years. And 80% of the time, it doesn't fall off, right? They see it as I don't know what I want. Really? 80% of the time? Oh, yeah. I would say most of the time it goes on to the fact you don't really know what you want, you just want to fuck around. When? Where did I ever say that? Where did I ever say that? But oh, you just want to fuck around. I'm like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 46:16

Well, and in that way, it's like they're just trying to test you, right? And you're testing me on the first date, and we don't know each other. Right. I mean, I think most people are honestly very fucking unhealthy.

SPEAKER_02 46:27

Like I think dating just shows they're already coming in with like a negative aspect, right? On how this is gonna go. Like they've already kind of set the narrative in their mind, right? Like this is how this is self-sabotaging or self-computing.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

Yeah, they're looking to put the blame.

SPEAKER_04 46:41

They're looking to put the blame, and then that counter. So they're gonna, so they're gonna tell their homegirl or whatever, or anything like this. Oh, yeah, he's self-absorbed, he wants to fuck around, he's nice, but like he's not ready. Self-absorbed, yeah, he's not ready, blah, blah, blah. I've heard it, I've heard it. People have told me, and I'm like, and what words did I use that I said I wanted to grow old with someone? I feel like a man saying that should be music to a woman's ear. Yes. Mind you, I'm not saying it's gonna be you, but that's what they're mad about, right?

SPEAKER_02 47:15

And you know, like the crazy thing is that what women and men too, right? Not just women, but what people don't understand that when you're going into like, let's say you're going on a date or uh to meet someone, you know, like this, when you're already going with that perspective in your mind, like that's what you're gonna fucking attract into your life. I was watching a video and they asked like 50 women, what do you think about men? What do you think about men? And out of those 50 women, like two women were like, men are great. I've had a really great time going on dates with wonderful men, because that is what they are attracting into their life, right? Because they are truly happy with who they are. They are living in abundance, they're living in fulfillment, they're living in gratitude, not just for them, but for the masculine, right? And so that is what they're attracting into their life. But all the other women were like, men are dogs, men are cheaters, men are this, men are that. So guess what?

SPEAKER_04 48:10

Maybe that's what you're gonna be attracting. I always say this to women all men are cheaters. All right, who are men cheating with?

SPEAKER_01 48:16

Yeah. I was gonna say, I we need to say humans. Humans are cheaters, humans are dogs, humans are this because it's both ways.

SPEAKER_04 48:24

Yeah, because men are cheating with women. Yeah. So when men are all cheaters, but I don't know, men are fucking other women. So in the sense, like, what I don't understand how that it's an easy grasp, like, oh, all men are cheaters. Well, they're cheating with these women. So are all women cheaters?

SPEAKER_01 48:41

Yes, because all humans are humans.

SPEAKER_02 48:43

Yeah, so and that's always or why? Why are all these men cheating on their women? Why, right? Like, what are these women? What what's going on?

SPEAKER_01 48:52

And why do you think all men are dogs, right? Because you have your external pain, your story that you have in your head is what you're projecting onto all men. And I think that's the thing that we have to break down our language to and language, because if you have a scope and a lens and a perspective where it's all men, all women, well, then that's all that you're gonna see because that's how the brain works and your reticular activating system. We have to change that language. And then your perspective will change, what you think will change, and then what you magnetize will change. And I don't think that means it's gonna happen every single time. We're still gonna meet all kinds of people. But I think we also have to tell ourselves good men are out there. I can make money, I can make a change, I can change my life. Like you have to reiterate to yourself what you actually want, right? And start to change the story because the story is currently in control of you.

SPEAKER_02 49:47

And how can I become this version of myself in my life in order to attract that into my life? Because it's not just like, I want a man to be supportive, I want a man to take care of me financially, I want a man to love me, to make me feel seen, to make me feel safe. Okay, but what are you gonna do, right? Because if you're gonna be if you're gonna think that you're gonna be hyper-independent and you're gonna be this feminist and you're gonna be clowning men all the time, and you're gonna attract that into your life, baby. You got your shit all fucked up. You have to be able to be in your feminine too and be like, okay, I'm gonna allow myself to be submissive. I'm gonna allow this man to open the door for me. I'm gonna allow this man to pick up the tab to receive, right? It really is because you can't, like he said, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Want to?

SPEAKER_01 50:31

There's a reality to that.

SPEAKER_04 50:32

But I think the basic advice is become the person that nobody's gonna cheat on. That means you need to level up mentally, you need to level up physically, you need to level up emotionally, you need to be respected, you need to give respect, you need to be with open communication. I'm telling you. And this is coming from me in the sense a woman will not cheat on you. A woman, I don't believe a woman would cheat on me if there's nothing to cheat on.

SPEAKER_02 50:58

Feeling everything.

SPEAKER_04 50:59

But in the sense, there's nothing to cheat on. So you need to become the version of a woman wants a man. And a man needs to understand there's certain aspects of you that are gonna be attracted by a feminine woman. So you need to attribute these actions to yourself. Because if you're a little bitch, there's a chance she's gonna cheat on you. If you're a complainer, there's a chance she's gonna complain on you. If you're fucking lazy, there's a chance she's gonna cheat on you. So, in the sense, become the man that a woman's not gonna cheat. Obviously, there's percentages that are gonna do it anyways, but if we're gonna go by percentages of life, there's certain aspects. If a man's being a man and doing this and doing that and doing this, and she's not gonna do it to him, but vice versa, a woman, you don't want a man to cheat on you, become a woman that does it, shouldn't be cheated on, right? Like I said, I'm not condoning cheating. I continues to say that, but you got to become the version of yourself that is actually fulfilling each other, right? Right.

SPEAKER_01 51:54

So I'm trying to think.

SPEAKER_04 51:55

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 51:56

No, I was just saying I heard this great thing, and he was talking about, you know, women pray for this man to come in their life, or women, men pray for a woman to come in their life. And he was like, you know, what you actually should pray for is that you can become the vessel to hold that type of man to come into your life, that you should become the vessel that can hold the type of woman that you want to come into your life, right? How do you actually become the thing that you want to hold? Right. Because if you meet someone, let's say who's on this frequency and this level, you're, and I think this is probably what happens is that this person's on this level. And then as a man or as a woman, you internally think you're not like we're talking about like low level. But then once we think of high level, right? I'm not worthy of her, right? I'm not enough. I'm not all of this. And then you self-sabotage that because you don't feel like you're good enough for X, Y, Z. So I think we have to like break it down as like, how do we become the person of value that is gonna match the value that we want, right? And then how do you think sense of we become the vessel that can hold what we want in our life? Because we need to hold it for ourselves.

SPEAKER_04 52:59

Well, if people are coming into your life are are amazing and kind and dope and maybe respected, it's probably because you're the same way.

SPEAKER_03 53:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:10

But if you're only attracting, you're only attracting a certain level woman, it's because you're probably the same level, man. You know what I mean? But the thing is that if you attract good people, and yeah, it's all mirroring. What you put out is what you receive. I know I got a conversation about people like that's not true. Because people think it's an eye for an eye, right? But the thing is that if you put enough of a certain energy out, eventually the other people, the haters kind of weed it out, or these people weed out, and all of a sudden, you attract, like, wow, she's really dope. Where did she come from? You attracted it 10 months ago, you know? You were putting out this energy that you're gonna be authentic, you're gonna be yourself. And for whatever way, the energy was leaning and it was finding a way, jumping trees, and then boom, it put you guys in front of each other. But the thing is, is that you're never gonna attract that if you're not it yourself. And going back to you guys, remember, I think I asked you, Gab, I was like, How did you want me on your pot? I didn't even understand. Like, why? And you explained to me, right? And it's funny because you saw something probably within yourself that it was like, oh wow, like it's like a mutual connection, right? And in a sense, like meeting you two are obviously my frequency because I fuck with you guys, right? But the thing is, is that I feel like it's a version of myself, like, man, I attracted these dope people in my life because of the version of myself that I wanted to, and vice versa. I don't know if you guys feel that way about me, but that's what I feel about you ladies. So it's because I was like, man, it's I'm always proud of myself because it's more of like I attracted two more dope people in my life just for being me. And I never, not in a million years would I think I would be on here, right? But the thing is, for whatever reason, you live in Northern California and Rachel lives in North Carolina, right?

SPEAKER_03 55:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:01

Imagine that, right? Imagine that. So, in the sense, what you put out is what you receive. So continue being yourself. And like I always say, if you're like a video game nerd or whatever, you're gonna attract a dope little video game girl nerd. You know what I mean? And that's okay. But continue being authentic, continue doing what's happy and not hurting nobody. And eventually the right people will enter your life, right? Because there's certain levels of things that I do that are not gonna attract certain people because we're not a match. And people think matches is always physical. Sometimes a match is just friendships, it's just deep friendships. So it's not always like a physical thing. To me, it's just attract the right people in your life that actually you want to be around, you want to have a beer with, or you wanna send funny memes or whatever. That's all it is. Attraction is not just physical, attraction is just relating to someone. And I also send me cool stuff on Instagram all the time that I'll watch what you guys send, I watch. You know what I mean? Because you guys know I'm gonna watch. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 56:02

Like, I also feel like people need to do their market research. Like, I like watching a lot of videos, like Frank's videos, like men videos, you know? And I like, like, it's very fascinating to me to learn because women and men are so very different. We have very different operating systems. And I think that women and men should both find other men and women that they can be friends with to ask like lots of questions. What do you think about this? And like, what do you think about that? I do that. I like doing that because I'm fascinated by how different we are and how their perspective is on things. And that teaches me, right? It teaches me a lot about me. And I've learned that women are so fucking complicated. Men can be, but not in the same ways, right? We're so different, we're so different. And if you learn a lot more about how men, how the masculine operates, you can then hold the space that you need to hold for the partner that you're attracting into your life, right? And you can be that person, and vice versa, right? I think it's really important for that man to do the same, to learn a lot about women and how we operate, because there's a lot of things that men do that women will internalize and kind of like form this story in their mind, right? And then when you tell a man, they're like, What? Like with that from like me saying I don't want to go to dinner right now. How did you think that, like, I don't want to be with you? I don't like you anymore, I want to break up. Like, how did you get all of that from me saying I don't want to go to dinner? Because women do that shit, right? We're so much in our feelings that sometimes women will take things very personal. So I think it's really important to be open to learning, right? And to doing your research. Kind of like when you buy a house, when you buy a car, you know, you're doing your research. You're like, Am I gonna get a Honda? Am I gonna get a Toyota? Like all of these things are really important and just have fun. Have fun and ask questions, lots of questions. I think that there's no wrong question, you know, and ask the silly, spicy, you know, questions just to see what the responses are gonna be. It's interesting how maybe you'll get different responses from the different men that are obviously on different frequencies, right? And you can kind of attune that to your favor.

SPEAKER_04 58:19

Most of the time, you you are gonna attract people on the energy you're putting out because that's where your head's at, and that's what you're attracted to. So if you see somebody not doing this, not doing that, you might not even look their way just because that's not the energy you're looking for in your life. And internally, subconsciously, that's not the energy that you're putting out. So I think when people say, I only get bad men or I only do attract these women, it's you, dude, home girl. Like at the end of the day, it goes back to accountability.

SPEAKER_01 58:51

Okay, y'all. I'm interrupting this episode for something really exciting because I'm officially opening the applications for the abundance activation retreat in Greece. And honestly, this is gonna be such a fucking vibe. I'm so excited. I'm so excited about the women who are already joining. Uh, so if you are a soul who has been craving expansion, softness, adventure, sisterhood, healing, abundance, and a deeper connection to your feminine energy, this is your sign to join the vibe tribe in Greece. This is a seven-day yoga, Pilates, feminine embodiment retreat through the Greek islands for the woman who's tired of holding her entire life together through stress, pressure, overthinking, and survival mode, and is ready to step into a completely different energy. Because abundance isn't something you hustle for, it's something you open yourself up to receive. We'll move our bodies overlooking the sea, regulate our nervous system, dance under the stars, and have bougie boat days, deep conversations, incredible freaking Greek food, beach clubs, sunsets, healing, laughter, and the kind of experiences that generally change you forever. Because sometimes you don't need another tool, technique, or strategy. You need a new environment, you need a moment to pause, a new frequency, a new energy to help remind you of who you really are. After my first time in Greece, everything really shifted for me, not just externally, but internally. I trusted myself more, I trusted the universe more, I stopped forcing life so hard. I felt supported, guided, and deeply connected to creation, possibility, and magic. And that's exactly the energy, the vibe of this retreat. So you've been waiting for a sign to stop playing small, to start going after what you truly want, to start saying yes to your next big level, then this is it. You can apply or reach out to me via Instagram for more information. I seriously cannot wait for this experience and to experience this magic with you.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:25

And self-acceptance. Yeah. If you're only attracting parties, are you just fucking partying? Like, because mind you, if you don't go out that much and you're doing certain things, maybe like, I don't know, like your lifestyle is not around partying, most likely you're not gonna really meet a partier. Right. So it's kind of like obviously there's the percentages, but percentage-wise, you're only gonna meet the people on the things that you're attracting and you're doing, you know. So if people take more accountability on their life and their self-development, you realize the answers are there and you'll attract the right people in life: good friends, better friends, and you might have to delete some friends. And I say delete because all of a sudden you're not partying no more, and now this friend, you're not in the same energy, you're the same frequency. And they might say, Oh, Frank changed. It's okay to change. It's okay to change because you know when people say he changed, should I have stayed the version of the 20-year-old Frank my whole life, or should I be the 38-year-old version of Frank?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:26

You know what, Frank? If they can't accept you at your best, then they don't need to be in your life, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:32

Well, trust me, I don't give a fuck if they care. Because at the end of the day, me personally, and especially ladies like yourself, I know you guys are looking for development, you guys are looking for growth, you guys are looking for perspective, you guys are looking for awareness. So it's I radiate with that. I'm like, yeah, they want to level up and they're gonna teach me on probably flaws of myself that I didn't even know. You know, maybe like, man, her perspective was really good because I really respect her opinion, you know. Fuck, let me she put a little bit of awareness here. But if you don't have people like that in your life, you're not gonna grow. You're not gonna grow. You're gonna stay the same 22-year-old version of yourself because you're changing its guy, huh? And stay stuck and stagnant and staying a low-level self because as you grow up, wisdom is supposed to kick in. Wisdom is supposed to kick in, right? And you become wise, right? And it's because you're aware. But some people don't want to become wise, they want to be, I'm in my ways, this is who I am. I don't change for anybody. You're ego-driven. Yeah, it's okay to change. What do people go to the gym for to change their body? What do people go to the dentist for to change their teeth? What do people get haircuts for to change their appearance? It's okay to change in those aspects, but internally it's not okay to change. I said, come on now.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:48

Like, they're in their own way.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:50

Why do you go to work to try to make more money and get a new job? Why? Because you want to change your financial status. Everybody's always looking for ways to change. But when people say, I don't want to change, or you should never change, you're trying to change everywhere else, but you're not trying to change internally. And to me, you don't understand. And so hopefully I say something right now that people don't get offended. Because I'm always like a little bit of fear that people are gonna say, like, oh, this guy's a fucking rowdy guy. We're gonna get canceled. But the thing is, is that change is good. Change is good because it's leveling up. Because if we were all the version of our 16 or 19 or 22-year-old selves, we would actually be dumb adults. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:31

Well, and and that's my thing too, is like you staying small, you staying those versions of yourself is not doing you any good. And it's not doing anyone else around you any good, and it's not doing the universe any good, life any good. You staying small is really hindering a lot of life and your life and those around you. Playing a game gives so many other people permission to do the same, to influence them. And that's the only thing we really have control over, right? Is like, what do you do? How do you level up? How do you play a bigger game? How do you give something more, knowing that you're giving and also then going to receive more in return? And you're helping yourself and others along the way just by your authenticity, right? Because you're being and owning that and getting uncomfortable and doing harder things and proving to yourself that you can do them, which gives you a whole sense of pride and confidence and wisdom and humility. People who are further along than you, in my opinion, aren't the ones who judge you, right? The people who judge you are the ones who are underneath you. The people who are above you are gonna fucking encourage you. They're gonna root you on and cheer you on. And the reason why you lose all these people underneath you is because you're a spark in their awareness of they're not doing anything. And now you become the reminder of that. And that makes them uncomfortable and they're gonna judge you and criticize you. The people who are ahead of you are not gonna say and judge or say anything critical or look at your whatever. Cringe, they're like, Yeah, I did that. Keep going and stay consistent. You're gonna get there, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:04

You know, the children's book I wrote is the whole premise of what you just said, but it's the whole premise of what you said. The people ahead of you are never gonna do that. They're never gonna do that. They're gonna encourage you, like, hey, keep being consistent, keep doing this. Hey, you probably need to level up, you probably need to work a little bit harder.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:21

Yeah, here's some advice. Here's what I would do. Here's a tweak I would make, here's this and that. But you're and I think that people who are meant to fall away fall away because they're not ready to go on that journey with you. And that's okay, because other people are gonna come into your space who are meant to now help you. And like you said earlier, like you become the five people you spend the most time with, right? So like you better choose fucking wisely. Like, where do you want to be and who do you want to be? And you know, if you're settling in your life, you're probably settling because the people around you are settling, right? When you start to change and you start to grow and you start to play a bigger game, yeah, I can get lonely there for a bit. And we've talked about this many episodes. But then, like you said, Frank, then you find people on the fucking internet, right? We sometimes you don't always find them in your immediate group, but you can find those people and you can find connection and you can find people who are gonna root for you. And you know, we started this by talking about Instagram and what's working, what's not working for us, because we're all in this zone of like, we wanna grow and we wanna play a bigger game and we want a bigger life, and we wanna, it's okay to have desire, and it's okay to dream big, and it's okay to want more than what your current reality is. And I want that for every single person, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:07:33

I want to play the bigger game. That's that's exactly what it is. We wanna play the bigger game.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:40

Yeah. Cause as a child, like my boys, right? They're playing uh sixth grade level basketball on their leagues, right? But guess what? They want to play the bigger game, they want to play high school ball, and then the high school ball wants to play college ball, and the college ball wants to someone that wants to play the bigger game are the people you want to fuck with because they want to play a bigger game. They want to level up. If people are just happy playing in these lower games, so be it. But I want to be in the I want to be at the main table. And at the same time, you need to earn your right, right? You need to earn your way up and it's work, it's work. But your ambition, Gab's ambition, you guys are starting a podcast, and every Wednesday you guys are up, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:22

It's all about consistency and one follower at a time, one listener at a time, and eventually it grows. But the only way to be part of that bigger game is that you got to put your name in the game, right? Because how we say, I don't believe in luck. Even the lottery, for instance. If somebody said, Oh, you're so lucky they won the lottery, well, he did buy the ticket. He did put his name in the hat. So is it luck or he put his opportunity there? So, in the sense, I don't really believe in luck. Oh my God, he's so lucky.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:53

And he believed that he was gonna win the lottery, right? The very crucial step is you gotta take action and then you gotta believe that you're worthy. You gotta believe that you can have it, that you can do it, that you can become it, right? That's a very crucial step.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:08

So I have a story about luck, right? So I have two of my friends, but they're in their 50s, right? One guy's super social, everybody loves him. He builds a lot of connections, he talks to a lot of people, he's just a great dude, right? The other guy is equally as great, but not as social. Doesn't have as many friends, right? And the one that's not as social is always saying, Man, he's lucky. He's always getting deals on old cars, and he's always getting cool items that are given to him. He's so lucky, he's so lucky. I don't see it as luck. I see it as this guy has built relationships and his network that people are just around him, the opportunity. Hey, this car's for sale. He buys old cars, right? Wow, this guy doesn't really need this car. He'll give it to you if you go pick it up today for three Gs or whatever, right? So, in the sense, his relationships are creating opportunities. And on the other side, my other friend doesn't have a lot of friends, and he's wondering why he doesn't get those deals because he hasn't built any of those connections. But one guy thinks he's so lucky that he gets all these deals and people are always hooking him up with things, and the other guy is like, I have a lot of friends and I know a lot of people, and actually, sometimes somebody's selling something that they don't want that I really want.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:20

Yeah, he puts him in the position to receive, yes, or have an opportunity.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:25

So when I hear people lucky or this guy got lucky because he blew up. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not luck. You're creating it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:34

It's compounded, like it's so much compounded energy or like putting yourself out there, consistency, accountability, all of those things are compounding, compounding, compounding. There are times where you put things out there and no one shows up, no one likes it. But the next time maybe one person shows up, and then the next time maybe three people show up, right? You have to put the work and the reps in when nobody cares and nobody's listening, because then you get to the other side. Yes, you've done that work, but you've shown up for yourself. You've proven it to yourself, you can do it. And you need all of those lessons to get to the big place where you want to be. And also the fact of playing a bigger game isn't just for yourself, right? It's how much good now you can do from that place that you've played the bigger game. You can help more people. You are resourceful, and then you can help create or instill that in other people and have them feel that. And then that trickle effect of now you felt that. Now this person feels that because this person did this. It's like the whole butterfly effect, right? The wings of a butterfly, they flap their wings and the wind is felt across the ocean. We don't think of things like that, but it's it's just like you get to play a bigger game, and then from that bigger game, it allows and gives permission for other people to play a bigger game. And I think the world becomes a better place when we live as fucking soul potential.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:52

When you do the work on yourself, that is how you change the world. If everybody in this world did the internal work, the inside out work on themselves, this world would be an entirely different place. Entirely different, right? Because they would be leading, right? You would see possibilities, but also you would be leading differently. You would be leading with love and compassion for each other, right? We would not be competing with each other. We would be uplifting each other instead of the condition that the world is in because of greed, because of competition, because of egos, right? It's just the way it is. So yeah, you're right. If we just all did that little work on ourselves, and it doesn't take much, right? It's 1% effort every day. And in one year, you will be 37%. It's just a 1% effort every day. 1% is like 30 minutes, 45 minutes of mindset work, of EFT, of breath work, of whatever, right? To do to change yourself. And over time, that work becomes magnified, becomes bigger, right? In two years, it's 37% plus 37%, right? That starts to add up until you start to really change. I think that so many people lose hope because we lack patience, right? We want to see change now. I've been doing I did breath work three times and I haven't changed, you know. I've been doing meditations for a whole week and nothing has happened. You didn't become this version of yourself yes from yesterday to today. You became this version of yourself for over the course of 30 years. So guess what? It might take a few years for you to become the version of yourself.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:27

Well, the thing is that you have to give them examples when people don't understand that. You have to give them examples of things they know. Right. You know? So, in the sense, if say somebody's a little bit of overweight, right? One week is not gonna get you that fantastic body. Promise you it's not, right? But the thing is, it goes with meditation, it goes with spiritual work, it goes with everything. Nothing's gonna happen in a week. I'm sorry. You can 1% better, yeah. You could be in the direction of getting better, right? Which is great, but nothing's gonna happen in a week. And if you I don't know, I don't know where people think this belief is gonna just be like it's gonna happen, or I did breath work for three days.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:07

Because of social media, right? Because in social media, they think that everything's just gonna I did this like the whole weight loss thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:15

Where because I look at social media, I don't get any of that. I don't see any of do this today and it's back tomorrow. I don't see any of that.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:24

I think that's not the frequency you're on. That's not what your that's not where what your algorithm is. But if yeah, if you were to put in like weight, quick weight loss stuff, that's all that would be coming up. Oh, I guess you're right.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:36

That maybe my awareness is weak on that. I don't see any of that. I see on my algorithm is work, get shit done. You know, nothing comes easy. There's gonna be flaws, there's gonna be backseat, you're gonna get knocked down like 80 times. But I'm telling you, be consistent, be consistent. I guess maybe my awareness is not around that because I don't see like my kids will say, Did you see this trend?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:00

Did you see that trend? And I'm like, no. And they're like, but it's all over TikTok, but it's not all over my TikTok because that's not what I'm watching, right? That's not my algorithm. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:08

I guess your algorithm is your energy, right? Your algorithm is what your radiate. That's a good way to put it. I like that. I like Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:15

I'll like I will leave you guys with this. I had a client yesterday who is a hundred pounds like overweight and resistant to what I'm trying to help her with. And I just met her. I just had one phone call with her, and she's like, Well, I'm not gonna do this and out of one side of her mouth. And then the other side of her mouth is like, Well, I need to start this tomorrow. I'm a hundred pounds overweight, I'm a fatty. And I was just like, I'm a very good fucking coach. And so I said to her, I was like, I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to make the step to help you, but I don't think you're ready or ready to receive and to do what is meant to do. And when you are, this is my phone number, this is my email address, and I will do this for you for free. And I doubt I will hear from her because I think sometimes people are in their own fucking way. She said to me, she said, you know, I just want you to hand me the meal plan that I'm gonna do that's meant for me. And I was like, okay, well, then are you gonna know how to write out a meal plan moving forward? Or are you always gonna need me to do it for you? She's like, Well, I just want you to do it for me. I was like, Okay, well, I'll do it with you. Let's schedule a call for next week and we can write it down together.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:16

This is the issue that I accountability, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:16:19

Like I can hand you everything. If people aren't ready to do that or not ready to receive, but she knew she needed it. She's like, I'm 100 pounds overweight. I need to start this tomorrow. But I'm gonna eat chicken, nuggets, and french fries from my freezer later. I was like, okay, that's awesome. No, but like, okay, but you say you want this, but you don't want to do anything. You want me to do it for you because you don't want to take any accountability. So, like everything that came out of her mouth. And then I started to think I was like, you know what? This person is in a lot of pain and doesn't trust me, doesn't know me. I could get that, right? So I asked, like, hey, does like your has your doctor given you any recommendations? Oh, well, he doesn't fucking care about me, right? Sometimes people are so much in a victim mentality that there is nothing you can say, do because they want to stay where they are subconsciously that like they don't want to make a change. How long ago was this?

SPEAKER_04 1:17:06

How long ago was this? Yesterday. So, in the sense, this is what I would do. Like maybe on Monday, say, Hey, I'm looking forward to hearing from you. I do care.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:16

And because it seems like there's a gap in her life that she thinks nobody cares. So if you 100%, I think that trigger word, if you say, Hey, I haven't heard from you, I would like to see you, I would like to get these hundred pounds off you. You want to know why? Because I care. Yeah. And if you say, I'm ready for you whenever you're ready because I care, I guarantee you saying that you care because you do care. You said you do it for free. And anybody willing to do something for free, it's a big fucking deal to me, right? So, in the sense, if those trigger words, because she doesn't feel if her doctor doesn't care or nobody, she doesn't think people care. But the thing is, is hey, you do care that you do it for free, right? You do care. So I think shooting her a text out of the blue, right? Maybe fucking first thing in the morning, hey, I haven't heard from you. I would like to get that 100 pounds off you because now I'm invested and I care. I care.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:07

I messaged her last night after our phone call, and I will message her on Monday and just say, I she needed somebody, right? Like she one, she needs someone to care.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:16

Yeah, and guess what? She found someone, and I guarantee she's gonna get that. I guarantee because it becomes like, no, now I'm invested because now like I care because you're a good human, right? It's funny because I've written out workout plans for people and then never use it. And then I'll tell them, Hey, you never fucking used it. Oh, this and this. I said, those are fucking excuses. I said, and I talk to men this way. This is the way men talk. Don't waste my fucking time. I said, Don't waste my time. Don't waste my time. I said, you want to get shit done? Let's go. I'll scoop you up and we'll have a fucking blast. I promise you. Yeah. Imagine me going out of my way, picking them up, right? Dropping them back off. I don't need to do that. But this is like, if you want to come, I'm here.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:00

That's what I said. I said to her, I was like, I'm here when you're ready. You want to call me, you want to do this, I'm here. I care. I said to her, I have tears in my eyes right now because this is how much I care. So you can either choose, like X, Y, or Z. By the end of that phone call, we were on a phone call for an hour, and I usually only have 30 minutes with a client. And I was on the phone call with her for an hour. And I said to her by the end of the phone call, I was like, I care. I have tears in my eyes. I've been in your place. And if you are ready, I'm here when you are. Again, there has to be a little bit of a skin in the game for her. And then you also, as the coach, the mentor, like you also have to show up and just be a fucking human to a human. And I think that's when fucking change will really happen, right? Yeah. You have to bring it one at one time down to someone's level, but you also have to set a level that they put skin in the game so that they have something in it to reach that level.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:53

She's coming. She's coming. You're right. Because it's one like Gab said, she's moving 1%. And this is her 1%. Her thinking about it, her 1%. But guess what? Another 1%. And then she might, it might be a whole new project when she comes in. You know what I mean? But at the same time, 1% better. And guarantee from a year from now, I hope she's listening. Like she can fucking do it. Get shit done. Because if someone cares, you should value that. Because if you didn't care, adios, no phone call. Would you rather have somebody calling you and texting you to show up? Someone not giving a fuck. I hope she's listening. I hope she does listen. But at the same time, someone making effort is actually someone fucking caring, you know. So yeah, like Gab said, 100% of the time, you know, and it's a it's a good fucking theory.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:38

And I mean your energy, Rach is so like radiant, you know, like and you are so empathetic and caring. So I think that you don't have you're not gonna have a problem. I think she's gonna see that. But yeah, I think it's and I think the energy that we put out matters in so many different ways, right? Whether we're being compassionate and loving in a moment or being focused or I want to share this just reminded me of something that happened really funny at the gym the other day. So I go to this gym, right? It's like a strictly weightlifting gym, like barbells, right? We're doing cleans, we're doing deadlifts and stuff like that. Lots of squattings on the racks and stuff. When I go to the gym, I'm fucking locked in. I'm there to work out. I'm not there to look pretty and like have my full face of makeup and like walk around, like, oh my gosh, you know, like hi, I'm here to mingle. I'm here to fucking work out. We only have 50 minutes. The class is 50 minutes long. So I'm like, okay, I'm locked in. I have to do these reps in 50 minutes. So I'm gonna use my time wisely, right? So I go there. I've been going there for a while now, and I see the same people every day. I'm not big on like, hi, my name's Gabby. Like, how are you? Like, I don't do that, right? If somebody comes up to me and says, hi, I said, hi, good morning, but that's it, right? I keep it short. I'm locked in. So tell me why this guy comes up to me and says, I moved your sweater, was there. I moved it from that bench to the machine. And I was like, all right, cool, thanks. You know, that's all I said. And then like 20 minutes later, he comes up and he taps my shoulder and he's like, hey, he's like, you ever heard of the phrase RBS? And I'm like, no. And he's like, resting bitch face. And I said, Oh, I said, Are you trying to tell me something? And he's like, I'm trying to teach you something. I said, Oh, you're trying to teach me something. He's like, Yeah, he's like, You walk in here, you don't say hi to nobody. He's like, You have this face, like yours just fucking too good or whatever. He's like, You don't mingle, you don't want to make friends with anybody. And I said, Let me teach you something. We have 50 minutes in here. My time, my energy is very valuable. I'm here to work out, I'm here to be locked in. I'm not here to say hi to you. I'm not here to be friends with her. I'm here to fucking work out. That's what I'm here to do. I said, and if that makes you feel a certain kind of way, buddy, you need to go look in the mirror. You need reevaluate yourself. I'm sorry. I said, and if I have a resting bitch face, so be it. I can't help you. I said, I gotta go. Bye. But it's like, what the fuck? I went back to my car and I was like, I don't even know this, like, I don't even know his name. You know, like why, you know, did he feel the need to have to come up to me to like say that to me? And then I walk away and he's like, oh, like that? Wow, wow. And I was just like, buddy, what the fuck? Like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my face makes you feel uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:20

Yeah, that that that's really unfortunate. But it a lot of people, there's a lot of people like that, that they want their reality and they want the people around them to be the way they want them to be. And that's God's choice. That's not you, baby. And in the sense, like, hey, if they don't want to fuck with you, they don't want to fuck with you. But the thing is, is that it was more of his ego. Like everybody should be like, I'm curious. I know you might not think this mattered, but this is from my own intel. Was he a good looking guy? Yes or no?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:46

Yeah, he was he's a good looking guy. He's not bad looking.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:49

It's his ego. I'm a good looking guy. This chick should be fucking smiling at me. She should be saying what's up. So, in the sense, and this is human dynamics, you want what you can't have, right? So, in the sense, he wanted some sort of interaction because he wasn't getting it. So, he wanted to find a way to get that interaction. You know what I mean? And he's dealing with ego. That guy is it's unfortunate that he had to do that, but he could uh if he had a real level awareness, like, hey, I always excuse myself.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:19

Hey, I'm free. I'm free.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:21

It's funny because I left there feeling sorry for the guy, you know. I'm like, fuck, it must up to be him, you know, like seriously. And yeah, there's definitely, he's right. People do mingle. People do like, hey, how are you doing? How was your weekend? I that's not who when I I'm not like, no, I'm not there to do that. You know, I'm there, like I said, there's 50 more.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:41

Don't change who you are. It's funny because, like, there's if I work out, right? And say a new guy comes in or whatever, like me and my buddy usually work out together, and say one of our friends that we both know comes and starts working out, and he's just blabbing away, and he'll be like, Hey, dude, you didn't say what's up to him. I don't fucking locked in. I'm not trying to fucking talk. And it's funny because I don't know how women are, but I'm allowed to like men or I have different rules between other men. I can just look at him like, hey, bro, I'm locked in. Stop talking. That's how, but the thing is, it's kind of like a manly thing. I don't know how women are with each other in that sense, but it's like, yeah, bro, you're talking too much. Get shit done. Let's go. Let's go.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:18

Yeah, I'm kind of like that too. Like, I'll be like, oh, hey, like they'll be like, oh, you don't even take hi. Oh, hi. I'm like, I'm sorry, I just gotta get this done. Like I said, my time is valuable, you know. I don't got time to be here diddly and daddling around, you know. Like, I'm here to do the work. I don't want to leave here and not finish my workout.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:35

That's a funny story. That's I like it. Yeah, I wanted to share. I'm curious. Now I want updates by week.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:41

When we see him at the gym again, what does he do, Gab? We want an update. I saw him yesterday.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:47

Did he say hi? No.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:48

Did he no?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:49

No, but like, look, I walk into the gym, I go to the locker, I leave my stuff, and I go and look at the workout and I start doing my workout. You know, I'm not looking around, saying hi or anything. I'm serious. I'm locked in. So I understand where his perspective is. I might look like a bitch, I might make people feel a little uncomfortable. Maybe people think I'm stuck up, right? That I'm holding.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:11

Why, why, why, why, why? You shouldn't accept that because you're not. Because the sense is, and what attributes, look it, and what attributes is you going to the locker, you come in looking at the board, seeing the workout plan, and going to your workout station. In no actions, someone that's like if myself, she locked in. She don't care, right? But in no actions, were you a bitch, were you rude, were you stuck up? No.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:35

No, but you gotta understand the way his, I'm talking about his personality. Yes, I understand that. He's used to these women like flocking him, probably, right? And be like, hi, how are you? I do see other women being like, how are you? Like grabbing his shoulder, and then I'm that's just not who I am. I'm not like that with anyone. That's just not my personality at all.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:55

Yeah, I say continue. Obviously, I don't have to tell you, but continue being you. I don't have to tell you that. But it's funny, that guy, you I'm telling you internally, he probably was like, he's probably a little into kid. He probably wanted more attention, even though he's getting a lot of attention. And he's probably dealing with other internal issues. I don't want to say it out loud, but I think, but at the same time. Because I know men. I know men, right? And I know those type of men. And if they're seeking more and more validation, they're lacking. They're lacking. I don't mean to cut you guys off, but I literally didn't realize what time it is right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:29

No, yeah. We gotta go. We've been on here for an hour and a half. Babes, Frank, thanks for being here. I'm sure we'll be on again. Thank you, Frank. Good comment.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:36

100%. Thank you for inviting me. I appreciate you guys. You guys are awesome. And continue doing your thing. You guys are inspiring me to be consistent. So, in the sense, every Wednesday you guys are out and you guys are getting guests and dope guests, and it's dope, you know. So I promise you, I believe you guys will be big time one day and have hundred thousand viewers and the whole shebang, and people are gonna listen to you. And I look forward to it. I look forward to seeing the journey with you guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:02

Thank you. Thank you. And we look forward to you being part of the journey too. Oh, I appreciate it. And all our other guests. Okay, babe.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:08

Bye, Rachel. Bye, bye.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:10

Bye, you guys. Ciao.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:12

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