Why So Many of Us Feel Disconnected (And How To Find Yourself Again)

What if the loneliness you’ve been feeling… isn’t a sign that something is wrong with you?

What if it’s actually an invitation to come back to yourself?

In this episode of Relentlessly Authentic, Rachael and Gaby dive into the deeper layers of emotional health, healing, self-worth, and what it means to navigate life as deeply feeling humans in a disconnected world.

This conversation moves through the messy, honest parts of growth:
 the loneliness, the emotional weight we carry, the pressure to “hold it all together,” and the quiet exhaustion of trying to keep up with who the world told us to be.

We talk about:
 – emotional resilience & nervous system healing
 – self-love, self-validation, and learning to trust yourself
 – the importance of community, connection, and soul-aligned relationships
 – the power of nature, grounding, and self-care rituals
 – why healing and grief are never linear
 – authenticity, trauma, and letting go of others’ projections
 – masculine & feminine energy, emotional safety, and compassion

Rachael also opens up about the lessons loneliness can teach us—and how solitude, when approached with intention, can become a doorway into deeper clarity, creativity, intuition, and self-trust.

Because growth isn’t about becoming someone else.

It’s about stripping away the masks, the conditioning, the fear, and the noise…
 so you can hear your own truth again.

This episode is a reminder that you don’t need to have everything figured out to begin healing.

You just need the courage to stop abandoning yourself.

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted, or like you’re searching for “something more”… this conversation will feel like a deep exhale.

You are not broken for feeling deeply—
 your sensitivity may actually be the thing leading you home.

Find Rachael on Instagram @highvibeyogii

Find Gaby on Instagram @rising.monarca and @gabrielafverdusco on Tik Tok 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Welcome back, y'all, to Relentlessly Authentic. How are you guys?

SPEAKER_02 0:27

Hello, everyone. Good morning from California, and Rach is in the East Coast.

unknown 0:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

So it's a little different in time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

It's fucking early where Gabby is right now. But thanks, Gab, for getting up and joining us.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Of course. Let's take our breath. I don't remember if we did this last week. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

No, let's do that. I need it. I need it.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Me too. Me too. So let's close down the eyes if you're listening. Just get comfortable in a seat, or maybe you're standing, feeling your feet on the floor. Maybe you want to draw your shoulders up towards your ears and roll them down. Elongating your spine. Standing a little taller. And then take a deep breath, inhale through your nose. Biggest breath you can take, and then an open mouth exhale, sigh it out and let it all go. Open mouth exhale, let it all go. Maybe it's a hand to the heart, a hand to the belly. And in this moment, just ask yourself what you're feeling. Try not to think too hard, just the first things that come to mind. Allowing it be from the knowing in your heart instead of your mind. And then validate your feeling and say it's understandable I'm feeling that way. Validating your own human experience. Trusting your own ways of feeling, knowing and intuition. And building a strong foundation off of that knowing. Connecting and allowing that knowing to guide you for the rest of your day and guide me and Gabby through the rest of this conversation. Hoping that this is in devotion to the highest and best. And devotion to the good of all of everything. And in that energy and in that presence, begin to blink your eyes open. It's like that was so delicious. Yeah. I was just saying it's like a cozy little blanket that you just like made for yourself.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

But I just like want to stay there, you know. I don't want to open my eyes and remember where I'm at or I know look at my surroundings. Think about what time it is in the morning.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Yeah. Goodness. But we can always go back there, Gab.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

And we get to be in this little love bubble of energy and presence, you know, together as we record the podcast. I'm light in it. I'm lighting an incense. I have my incense too. Let's drop in. Ooh, look at that. I just blew my all of my incense, like the droppings all over everything. I do that all the time. That's the only better thing. Yeah. I know. But it's just good energy that we're flowing out into the world.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

And I'm so sore.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

I know. Oh my gosh. Okay, Gabs. What is on your heart today? To what are you so much. So much.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

You know, this past week, I don't know what is going on in the cosmos, but there has been a lot of emotions flowing through me. Like a lot of I don't know. Scorpio, Scorpio full moon just came off of that's a good idea. Yeah, definitely. The Scorpio full moon has definitely come and like rocked my world for sure. Because I was on vibrating at a frequency that I was loving, and all of a sudden, it's just like boom, you know, and this whole week, pretty much the whole week. I'm trying to think here, what the exception? Monday was a pretty good day. Monday I had was a good day, but the rest of the week has just been like one thing after another, like emotionally, whether it's myself or just uh issues with other people, um, have really just like what do you call it, like kind of throw me off balance a little bit. I feel very off. I feel very like I feel frisky as fuck. And not in not in that sense. No, just like any little thing like throws me off. Yeah, very short, like very short fused, right? Any little thing is like usually I'm like, I let it roll off. Yeah, a little bit more friction. Usually I let it roll off, and I'm like, it's not gonna bother me. But this week it everything has just been, and I've gone to the beach to try and like release it. You know, I've done several meditations. I've definitely cried a lot this week, just trying to move that energy out. And I feel like it's finally starting to subside, but it's just a reminder that I'm an emotional being. I think sometimes for me, I've always had to be a very strong, tough person, right? Whether if it was for my family, I was the oldest, right? So I've always, in a sense, had to carry a level of responsibility that my siblings didn't always need to carry, right? Because I was the oldest when I was young. Well, I'm still the oldest. I'm always gonna be the oldest. But I'm saying when I was younger, I was the one who can you do this for me? Can you do that for me? Can you pick up your sister? Can you take your brother?

SPEAKER_01 6:42

You had a lot more responsibility.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Yeah. So the weight was always put on me. So I think because of that, I've always been a lot stronger or had to. I don't know if I've been stronger, but I've had to step up, act, yeah, act stronger, right? And more put together and and kind of have a tougher skin and just really been in a place or told, like, I mean, my mom would always tell me, like, don't let the kids see you cry and my and uh like you you gotta just keep going. Don't don't do that, right? So that's kind of the persona that I've always had to be, right? And I think have done the work and everything has helped, but I think there's still a level of that in me that I walk around a lot telling myself everything's gonna be fine. I'm gonna, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, until it gets to a point where I'm not fine, right?

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

Where I'm not fine.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

And can I pause realizing can I pause the ear gap and don't forget your train of thought? But I feel like that's such a good segue into like, I feel like how a lot of women feel in terms of like burnout, where it's like you're fine and you keep telling yourself you're fine and like everything is fine when it's really not, right? And it's then you you once you get to the point where your body is literally like we shut down, we can't keep going anymore. I feel like a lot of women, I feel like especially in this moment in time, can feel into that like wow, I'm just like so stressed and like so anxious and feeling so much, but I, you know, I can't stop, right? And it's almost like if you do stop, then you have to process all of the feelings that you haven't been feeling, right? And all of the ways where you're actually not fine. So it almost feels more survival to just keep going because it's almost easier than having to like stop and actually process because it's like, oh, is this going to give me more stress because I need to be productive and I need to do this thing and that all of these things that you're are on your mind? And I think we're just trained on top of that, conditionally from society, that like you get more praise, more admiration for the more you have on your plate, right? For being more busy, for being more productive, for being more successful. So it's like all of this other very feminine, intuitive, emotional side of things kind of gets pushed aside because it's not valued as the rest, the relaxation, the rejuvenation is not valued as highly as the level of like, I'm gonna hustle and grind and just work through it and get through it. And it's also on another layer of that is like men have a 24-hour hormonal cycle and women have a 21-day. It's very different or 28-day, but you get what I mean. So speaking back into your story, how you've been feeling this week, holding it all together, feeling like you've been having to hold it all together as the eldest daughter.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

Yeah. So what my point was that just really having the self-awareness, right? To to tell myself that it's okay to break sometimes, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:51

And does it make you wrong or a bad person?

SPEAKER_02 9:54

No, it allows me to have discernment, it allows me to have conviction and and also empathy for myself, but it also allows me to sit back and really realize the growth and the journey, the progress, right? Because I think for me, it's really hard to acknowledge my own progress. I had a conversation with my sister a a while back ago, um, maybe a year or two ago. I can't remember. But um she owns a house. She they have uh her husband has his own business, like they, you know, property in North Carolina and everything. And I remember, I think it was right before she moved. I told her I was crying and I was upset. And I said, gosh, you're so successful. And she just kind of laughed and she's like, What? And I'm like, Yeah, you're so successful. I said, You guys are owning your own property, you're gonna have land, he's gonna have his own business, like you own your car, you're you're doing the things you want to do. And she said, That's so funny. She's like, Because I think you're so successful. And I said, I kind of laughed and I was like, What? Like, I don't own anything. I don't own anything. I just thinking of myself, like all the negative things about myself, right? All the mistakes I've made and I've had to carry with me. And she saw it as like, you have a family, you have four children that are almost grown up, that you've invested your time and gave them so much love and you know, tried to be the best mom you've ever been, and like they're almost out of high school, all of them. So that's success. Yeah, if that's how I see success. And I just thought that's very interesting how like everybody's version of success is different. Yeah. I see her as a very successful person because she has all the tangible things that we're told that we need to have, right? Right. And she sees me successful because my kids are all grown up and she's like, you know, it's I really yeah. I admire, she admires all my struggles, everything I've gone through, everything I fought for to make sure that my kids graduate and and have a home and and you know, have love and and and stay on the right path and don't get involved in drugs and gangs and violence and all this stuff. And I thought, wow, that's very interesting. So this week I was reflecting back on that. Because I think oftentimes um we're like, well, I'm not where I want to be, and I'm already 46 years old, and like, how many more years is it gonna take for me to get to where I want to be? So through me crying and and sitting there with myself for a few hours, um, I was actually at the beach when when I was doing this, just a lot of reflection. I thought, hang on, you're not where you want to be, but you're also not where you used to be. Yeah, yeah, you're not where you used to be. And your sister's right. Your kids, my son's about to graduate. And when I thought of that rage, when I thought about my son graduating, I just cried even more. I was like, my gosh, like my son's gonna graduate, you know? Yeah, um, and uh I thought, wow. And one time I remember my son, I don't remember which one of my sons it was, but he they told me I was having a moment, and he told me something like, I know that he said, I know that you often think of all the things you've done wrong as a as a mom. He's like, and you sometimes dwell on that. He's like, but look at us because we're here to show you all the things you've done right.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

Gabby, that makes me cry. And like, happy Mother's Day to you, by the way. We have Mother's Day. Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

And like all the mothers out there who are yeah, happy Mother's Day to all the moms. Mother's Day should be every day. Every day is its own journey for sure. And and this is coming from someone that has four kids. And let me tell you, it is not easy. Being a mom is probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. So, yeah, happy Mother's Day to all the moms. But uh yeah, he he said that to me, and I just thought, wow, thank you. I needed that because I think we do focus a lot on I didn't do this, and I don't have this, and I don't have that, you know. And I think this week has really allowed me to reflect back and allow myself to remember that we are emotional beings, especially me being a Scorpio. I have Scorpio, I'm a I'm a sort of Scorpio sun, I'm a cancer moon and a Capricorn rising. So I'm very, I'm so so emotional. You know, I I like crave that emotional connection, right? And I carry a lot of depth. I carry a lot of depth. Hell yeah, you and because of that, I sometimes want to get to the root of things. Like, why am I feeling like this? Where's this coming from? And I get so fixated on it. And sometimes, right, it doesn't matter. Sometimes it doesn't matter. Sometimes the why doesn't matter. Sometimes there is no logic to what we are feeling, we are just feeling.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

And it can be things from the past, it can be things from our ancestors, it can be, you know, it can be so much that we carry that because we're doing the work on ourselves, we are continuously making space in our body, in our minds, in our hearts, in our soul. And when we do that and we make space, we allow other things to come up and rise in order for us to feel them, in order to release them.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

And that's kind of where I ended up. And I thought, how interesting it is the difference between men and women, right? Um, and I was listening to a podcast actually that you sent me where he was talking about how, and I knew this, I know that the sun is masculine, right? And the moon is the feminine. And he talked about, he's like, and if you need proof, the sun is on a 24-hour cycle, right? Where the moon is on a 28-day cycle, just like women. Women are on a 28-day cycle, and men are on a 24-hour cycle. So that is why the sun is the masculine and the moon is the feminine.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

And I thought we like how fucking cool is that? Like, yeah, like just to like pause for a moment and be like, wow, we are reflected, we're a reflection of nature. And the more I think we can lean into that, the more grounding I think that can bring us back to we're like beyond just the human experience, right? To that energetic experience going on that we are actually not in control of as a human, right? We're not in control of our cycle. Like, you know what I mean? Like there's something beyond that, right? We don't have to think about that. It's happening naturally, right? It's not a human-made thing, it is an energetic, spiritual beyond this human experience. You know what I mean? Like, that's just fucking mind-blowing.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

I think it's so and it's crazy because like I've had this connection with the moon for the last, I don't know, I would say a year or so, more so. I've always been very like mesmerized by the divinity of the moon and the sun, both of them. You know, they're so majestic, but more so the moon. And I would say the last few months, I've just been like very, I don't know, like a connection, you know, where I'm constantly in search of the moon to see what it looks like, to see what phase it's on. Yeah. Um, and I feel like uh this is why I feel like when when I was at the beach the other day, I thought like when you go in the water, you know, the the this is the ocean and this is me. But the moment you step foot in the water, you become the ocean. You become part of the ocean, you know.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

Gabby, and can we read what you wrote, what you sent me that day on the pod? Sure, sure. I'll read it. Yeah, hold on a second.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

I need to get my glasses.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

I feel like that one, Gabby. It's so fucking powerful. I was just like probably teary and uh emotional reading it when you sent it to me. Let's see. I feel like this will be a powerful download for people.

SPEAKER_02 18:55

All right, let's read it. So, just for all the listeners, this was something I wrote on gosh, what day was it Thursday? I think it was Thursday. I was feeling a certain kind of way, and I went to the beach and I just needed to connect back with the earth, hugged a few trees and sat there for a while. And I was feeling a certain kind of way, so I just started writing, and it says, you know those moments when your soul feels too full for language, when your emotions rise like tides inside your chest, yet no words are vast enough to hold them. Those moments where you're trying to catch your breath while simultaneously learning how to surrender to it, where anxiety and freedom dance together in the same body, where you feel trapped inside your own skin. Yet somewhere deep within you can hear liberation calling your name. I have felt those invisible shifts, the sacred unraveling that no one else can see. The quiet depth of old versions of myself echoing through my bones, while something wilder, softer, wiser begins to emerge from the ashes. There is something humbling about realizing how small we are beneath a sky that never ends. Yet remembering we carry entire universes within us. I am no longer trying to outrun my shadows. I am learning to sit beside them without allowing them to chain me there. The fears, the conditioning, the inherited wounds. They may echo through me, but they no longer own me. I want to move through this life like the ocean, fluid enough to adapt, forgiving enough to release, powerful enough to destroy when no longer aligns, yet soft enough to still kiss the shore with love. I want a heart that remains tender without becoming fragile. A spirit magnetic enough to call in a genuine connection, while strong enough to stand alone when necessary. I'm learning that strength is not hardness, that mystery is not hiding, that freedom is an internal becoming. And maybe, maybe. That is why I feel so much. Because my soul was never meant to live greatly. It was meant to burn, to transform, to wander, to live deeply, to leave this world softer, wiser, and more alive. I found it.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

It's so beautiful, Gabby. You have like gift, many gifts.

SPEAKER_02 22:38

But thank you. Yeah, I think that that's actually the first time I read it back to myself. You know, I was reading it as I was typing it, but I I often wait a few weeks to read it back.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

When things have calmed down a little bit. Yeah. But the thing that comes to me when I read it is just that we are like this world is very cold, right? Or can be very cold. And we can choose to be fire in a world that's cold. We can choose to be fire. We can choose that. We can choose to be like the ocean, right? Fluid and forgiving. Or we can choose to be harsh and rough, like those waves that crash. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Ultimately the choice is ours. I love that. That one of the lines in there, Gabby, though, was like, I want to be soft enough to forgive, but heart, like I want to have a soft enough heart to have connection, but I also want to be able to stand alone when necessary. And that really hits, I feel like in that reading, you give such a beautiful contrast of what it is to want to love and forgive, again, very masculine, feminine, and also what it is to stand by and let go of what is no longer aligned. Right. And I think that's where true kind of strength comes from. It's not like macho strength, I'm better than you. It's this is no longer for me, and I can stay convicted and strong in that decision and not let it sway me. I find that to be strength, that I know what I value, I know that what is right for me, what is, you know, what my path is ahead, and I can say no without feeling like I'm wavering in that no, and not from a place of something's wrong or bad, but that's not my truth or what I want or where my vision of my life is going. And I think similarly, Gabs, and why we do the podcast is both of us are not very surface level people. And I think it's hard in a world culture where people relate on very surface level things. And um, I don't think either of us are surface level, and I think that's why things have also kind of been lonely for both of us, is that I don't like it's hard for me to just talk about the mundane when we're so there's so much more depth, you know, to our human experience. And not that like everything needs to be heavy, but it there is a sense of like, wait, but there's so much more going on before beyond the surface that's has so much more juicy depth to it, that is where I find like my soul really wants to like connect to, if that makes sense. And I think that's why we do the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

Yeah, I think you're right. And I think I think you're absolutely right, actually. I think I really struggle with loneliness. I do, you know, because I don't know. I have this like need of wanting to be understood, you know, like wanting me to be able to speak like this, right? Where I hold back a lot. I don't speak like this, I don't I write it, right? But I don't speak like this, and I know I can. I know that's my way of expressing, but nobody uh people are gonna be like, huh? Yeah, what you know, like what are you talking about? And I think there's so many different layers to me. And that's one of my truest layers, right? That's my that's one of my truest selves, is is this is being able to think like this and being able to not just think like this, but really feel these things, you know. Like I've said before, when I look outside when I'm out in the world, oftentimes I'm not paying attention to what's going on in front of me. I can be very distracted, right? From the 3D world. If there's a red light, you know, sometimes I pass red lights because I'm just not I'm not focused. Yeah, I'm living in that space, yeah, where I you're in flow. Yeah, I'm in flow. And and you know, a few weeks ago I was driving to Presno and uh thankfully there was no traffic, so I was able to just like disconnect from the actual road. And I had music going, so I was just vibing, and and I know that I sent it. It's like a meditative state, yeah, it is. And I sent a message and I was telling them like I was looking at the distance, and I was like, ah, the sky is connecting to the mountains, the mountain is connecting to the land, and the land's connecting to the water. Do you see that? Yeah, you know, do you see that? Like, how fucking rad is that? How fucking gnarly is that that everything is just layers, yeah, but it's all one. Yeah, it's all one. Yeah, and then we step foot into the water, you know, and then that's connected to us. Do you not see the energetic connection?

SPEAKER_01 27:57

It's like blessing you. I don't like and you have to tap into that energy or that frequency of that blessing. And I feel like that way, Gabby, like when I step, this instantly brings tears to my eyes. Like when I step in the water of like the agency and Greece, it's just like I'm connected to something that's so much greater and bigger than myself. And it instantly put puts me into this state where this this is the only, like, this is the only place I'm meant to be. This is like this is the feeling like it's like a oneness, right? It's a feeling of oneness. And I just want to circle back to something else that you said to me, Gabby, because it really hit me. And we were texting, and you you said to me like the podcast is the only place that I feel truly free. And I just want to speak into that because that hit me really hard, like in my chest, and in similarly, like we it what a beautiful space that we've been able to create. And I think that I value that so much, and I know you value that so much, and then it means so much to us, but I also do think that it means a lot to other people, and like taking the things that how powerful and beautiful that we took things that made us feel lonely, found each other, and then created a space where we could speak into it, and that other people get something out of it. Like, how beautiful is that? And that is so impactful, and that really hit me. And I just I don't have words, I don't think I just want it's a feeling, and I just want you to know that I resonate with that very much, and I think our message is resonating with others, even if it isn't in our immediate community, you know, around us in our day-to-day life. And there was something you said on the podcast this past week. You were like, Thank you for the internet and like technology, right? Because yes, it's scary in some ways right now, but at the same time, we're able to do this. We're able to connect with others when they're not in our vicinity, and that that provides, I think, another opportunity, another avenue for connection. That it way we don't feel so lonely if we don't have that community or we don't uh relate to a lot of the people that are around us, that we can still find some of our tribe in certain ways, and that we do have the opportunity to find our tribe in certain ways. And Gabby, maybe we in the in this podcast are able to provide that space for others who haven't been real able to relate, you know, to their other communities, surroundings, people around them, but maybe they can connect and relate to us and to these conversations. And then bringing people together in that way, I think, is something really special. Okay, y'all. I'm interrupting this episode for something really exciting because I'm officially opening the applications for the abundance activation retreat in Greece. And honestly, this is gonna be such a fucking vibe. I'm so excited. I'm so excited about the women who are already joining. Uh, so if you are a soul who has been craving expansion, softness, adventure, sisterhood, healing, abundance, and a deeper connection to your feminine energy, this is your sign to join the vibe tribe in Greece. This is a seven-day yoga, Pilates, feminine embodiment retreat through the Greek islands for the woman who's tired of holding her entire life together through stress, pressure, overthinking, and survival mode, and is ready to step into a completely different energy. Because abundance isn't something you hustle for, it's something you open yourself up to receive. We'll move our bodies overlooking the sea, regulate our nervous system, dance under the stars, and have bougie boat days, deep conversations, incredible freaking Greek food, beach clubs, sunsets, healing, laughter, and the kind of experiences that generally change you forever. Because sometimes you don't need another tool, technique, or strategy. You need a new environment, you need a moment to pause, a new frequency, a new energy to help remind you of who you really are. After my first time in Greece, everything really shifted for me, not just externally, but internally. I trusted myself more, I trusted the universe more. I stopped forcing life so hard. I felt supported, guided, and deeply connected to creation, possibility, and magic. And that's exactly the energy, the vibe of this retreat. So you've been waiting for a sign to stop playing small, to start going after what you truly want, to start saying yes to your next big level, then this is it. You can apply or reach out to me via Instagram for more information. I seriously cannot wait for this experience and to experience this magic with you.

SPEAKER_02 33:21

Well, yeah, I absolutely 100% agree. And and I meant what I said, you know. I feel so I don't know, it's just unexplainable the feeling that I have when I'm here with you on the podcast. I just I can just I don't have to hold back on anything I want to say, and I don't need to explain everything. I don't need to draw a little picture so you can understand what I'm saying, like you just get me. And that's so hard to find in this world, right? You know, and it makes me so emotional because how many people don't feel like this? How many people don't feel understood or seen or are putting on performances and wearing masks on a daily basis? And I think that everything is a double-edged sword. Everything is a double-edged sword, right? Being our truest self is a double-edged sword. We're we're definitely gonna have criticism from people that obviously don't understand. Because I think that when people don't understand, they are living in fear, right? They have fear, and and because they have fear, they they rather make fun of others or judge others, right? Than say, hey, I don't understand. Can you explain this to me? And I just want so bad to help heal the world, heal humans. I see a lot of pain, a lot of pain in the world. I have a lot of people in my family that suffer from depression and anxiety, and I just think it could be prevented, it really could if people were more woke, more inclined to learn different ways of healing and not be so quick to go to prescription drugs.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Um, but I am extremely grateful for this space. I I can't emphasize that enough. This is very, very like dear to my heart, and I think that it's amazing that we can like like we said, you know, that you are where you are and I am where I am, and we can still do this together. It's a testament that it doesn't matter. The distance doesn't matter when it comes to connection. When I and I feel this way, not just with you, there's a few other people that I feel a connection with uh that don't live close by, you know, you, Jess, a couple other people, and and there's not too many people like that. There's not too many people that I feel that with, you know, in this world. And it's something very special that I treasure, that I really do. And so yeah, that's kind of this week where I've been when I've realized that we just have to allow ourselves to feel whatever it is that we need to feel in those moments, because the more resist, the more we resist it, the more it's gonna weigh us down. Yeah, the more it's gonna weigh us down, the more we're gonna carry. Um, so it's important to give ourselves that time to have the self-awareness, to give ourselves that those moments that we need to be able to just sit with it and hold it, you know, hold the grief and honor it, right? And we said this before.

SPEAKER_01 36:34

And so, like I we did in the beginning of the of the podcast of like, like, what am I feeling? Oh, it's understandable I'm feeling this way, right? Like validating the way that you actually feel instead of like like you said earlier, we're like, oh, why am I feeling this way? What does it mean? Do we need that answer? Can we just validate that you are feeling this way and make that and validate that's okay? And I think the more we like you said, everything's fine, everything's fine. No, we just need to validate the way that we're feeling, and that usually helps dissipate the resistance that you feel to actually feeling what that feeling is instead of just pretending like everything's fine.

SPEAKER_02 37:13

And I think, like for me, I'm really good at giving of being like very like giving giving unconditional love, right? Being unconditional to people, especially people that I really care about. I'm extremely loyal when it comes to somebody that I that I care about and make that known to them. But what about to myself? Yeah, what about giving that unconditional love back to myself? And I think that's the area where I fall short, and that's where the loneliness steeps in, right? Because then I want that from somebody else, right? I want that come to come in externally, right? And then so then I sit with myself and I'm like, but why? Why can't I give that to myself? Right. Why can't I give the same love I give others? Why can't I I not do that for myself? But it takes me getting to that point where I feel like I just can't keep it together anymore to be able to reflect and release everything and then be able to be like, okay, I I got you, you know, I'm here. And and I do have lots of family. I have, I mean, I just want to put that out there, I have a lot of support, but I think nobody understands what this when you're on this journey, um, at least not in my family, when you're on this journey, the type of loneliness you feel. Yeah, that loneliness I feel at times is not something that's gonna go away by somebody giving you a hug or somebody telling you it's gonna be okay. Yeah, it's a different type of loneliness. No, it's feeling alone in a room filled with people, yeah, where you just feel very, very out of place. Like you just don't belong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:01

And I it's funny you say that because there's way there's often I feel that way as well. It's not, it's I've definitely felt that more when I was in a tougher place mentally and you know, feeling very much like I was working through a lot of trauma. You know, when when there were deep times of like trauma healing that I was going through, I felt very lonely and I felt very, you know, like you're on an island kind of by yourself and there's nothing you can say to make someone understand what you're going through. So you don't really say anything and you try to process everything on your own. I do think those times are necessary. I do think that is a part of the process. I don't think it means you're doing anything wrong. I don't think it means that there's anything inherently wrong with you. I just think it's you working through for yourself and with yourself and trying to validate yourself and your experience and also finding some sort of space for someone else to validate that for you. And I think, like we've said here on the podcast before, that can be a therapist, that can be a coach, that can be somebody who can see you. And I do think there's a loneliness that comes and that we all want to fulfill that loneliness and want to be our own self-source. But I also think as a basic human instinct, we need love and connection. That is a basic human need, is to be love and connected to. And I think it's very hard, Gab, when you know that you have a need that's not being met and you don't know how to fulfill it for yourself, but you want to because it feels like at least that's doing something, right? To be able to, at least you're doing something, you're taking, you want to take some sort of action to fix the way that you feel. But I don't think necessarily we can fix the way that we feel. We have to accept the way that we feel. And I I don't know, I think for me there was such an aha waking up moment. And this is why I'm so attached to Greece, is because I remember the first time I went there, I felt completely seen and completely held by the universe. And it was this sense of like, I'm not actually alone and I won't ever be alone. And that something greater than me has got me, and I felt so seen and I felt so held. And that once you feel that feeling though, it's hard to go back to like what you like normal life. So, like what you said also earlier in the podcast, like, oh, like can't we just stay here? Like, when you're in that connective place and you know what that feels like, it's really hard to go back into the mundane or the matrix that is operating on such a different frequency than that frequency. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 41:50

Absolutely, absolutely. So that is that is my struggle on a regular basis is I want to live on this vibration. I want to live on this frequency at all times, and and that's very, very hard to attain on a regular basis, but also like I think it's necessary for us not to stay there because then we will not continue to grow. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think these things, these moments this like this week that I had was something that needed to happen. Yeah, it these moments are the catalyst, yeah, are a catalyst to like us having that quantum leap, right? Being able to to shift timelines, right? Dimensions, yeah, and access access those codes, right? Because as women, we hold codes in our womb, in our bodies, and I think that those codes will not uh reveal themselves if we continue to stay just where we're at. You know, we have to continuously, yeah, you have to continue to be reminded in order for us to continue to grow. And it's it's again, it's allowing ourselves to go there, right? Because for me personally, I'm so good at compartmentalizing things. And I'm like, Yeah, we're not dealing with that right now. Here you go, you can go be put in this box and we will leave you there, you know, and I'm just gonna keep going on my happy way, you know. Yeah, but having the self-awareness has allowed me to be like, oh no, no, no, no, like this is coming up. Why, you know, why is it coming up? And is it necessary for me to sit with it? And the first time it comes up, I'm like, I'm gonna shake it off, you know. And then the next day it comes up again. After it comes up a couple times, I'm like, okay, there's something here. I don't know what it is, but I immediately want to be like, what is it? Where is it coming from? What triggered it? You know, like let's find the roadmap and get to the bottom of this.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:59

And this. This time around there was nothing really that triggered anything like that I can think of. And I mean I was away from my kids, uh my family for a couple days. Maybe that was it, I don't know. But uh it did nonetheless I I it needed my attention and I gave it my attention and there was a couple shitty days that I was just really done with the days. But I just kept telling myself, this too shall pass, this too shall pass. I've had days like this, I've made it through worser days, I've made it through I've weathered rougher storms, so you know, and the day that in those days it was it would they were really gloomy days, yeah. Really like foggy days out, and I was like, Oh, where is the sun?

SPEAKER_01 44:48

Yeah, but it's forcing you to sit in it, and even though that's comfortable, it's forcing you, it's saying it's it's one of those things where we want to run, right? Like we want to get into that flow state, we want to be there all the time, right? Like, because that feels really fucking good. But we like we talk about on here, Gab, we have to be able to, what if we actually could sit in the presence of the good and sit in the presence of the uncomfortable and actually trust that, hey, I'm actually maybe I'm exactly where I'm meant to be right now. And that's really fucking hard when it's uncomfortable and painful and there's emotion. But we have to, it's like you said, we have to have the duality. And the more that we can kind of sit with it or get comfortable in the fire, right? It's kind of like fire, like more comfortable in the fire of the uncomfortable, the better, not the better, but like the more we get used to the process that this is just a part of the process, it's just a part of the journey. And some weeks are going to be harder than others, and other weeks are gonna be flowing on fucking cloud nine. And that's just a part of the human experience. That's what we signed up for. Because like you said, we're here to grow. And I think if you're not growing, you're not actually living.

SPEAKER_02 46:01

And I think a good reminder is again, I know I've said this before, is to remind myself. Sometimes it feels like we're being buried when we're actually being planted. Where are we and most of the time we are being we are being planted, you know? And these are things I tell myself in these moments. I'm like, I know this shit feels hard. I know this is a and you know what makes it really hard is that my family is like, what's wrong? What's wrong? Like, yeah, you know, what's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? And I'm like, I just need space, I just need to go away. I just need to be by myself. And yeah, and going to nature is going to this, especially this place where I go where it's like you get the forest and you and with an ocean view. So there's like you walk through this little trail of like these big redwood trees. Wow. And then you get to a staircase where you go down and then the vast ocean, right? So you get the best of both worlds, and it's like my favorite place to go. So when I get there, I don't know what it is about that place, Rachel, but immediately as I walk up and get into the trees, I'm just like, like all of a sudden I can catch my breath. All of a sudden I can catch my breath. And I sit there and I sit with the I sit on a tree and I touch, I'm holding the tree, and I just look up at it and I'm seeing how weathered it is, how like, you know, its branches are broken and everything. And I'm just like, you know, this tree has been through a lot. There's been so many storms, years and years and years and years of storms that it has combated, and and and here it still stands, right? Here it still stands, and so do I right next to it. So do I right next to it. It's so grounding to be able to connect with the trees and then to be able to go and allow the tree to show me to bring to life what I'm carrying, to then be able to walk down those stairs and see the ocean and let it all go in the ocean. Yeah, you know, take it, take it with you.

SPEAKER_01 48:12

It's an alchemization.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

Yeah, it is. It's alchemizing, it's learning to be an alchemist, you know. That's what that is, you know. And our teacher is nature, yeah. That is our teacher, that those are our greatest teachers. Then the ocean will sometimes bring up a lot of garbage, right? And when the waves go back and they're settled, the the water settled, you can see through everything and you can see all the beauty that the ocean carries, right?

SPEAKER_01 48:44

Well, it's filtering, it's like a filter system, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:47

And that's that's what we are. That's what this is. This alchemizing all this stuff is filtering all of the things that no longer align, right?

SPEAKER_01 48:58

You're like purging, right? It's like a purging alchemization, a trans transmuting some sort of energy and using nature as that avenue to do that because it's it's presence, right? It's you're being coming very present, and you're asking essentially through your vibration, your frequency, or with your words to be present and to allow it to kind of wash, wash it away. I don't know, Gab, I feel like the way you talk about nature is beautiful, and it's just, I feel like it's just being present in in the moment and being alive with whatever is actually going on in your internal world and using, like I said, using nature to alchemize. And I feel like that alchemization is, I think, one of our greatest gifts as women because it's like that witchy sense in us, right? It's like that witchy, like what is it, like turning lead into gold, right? Turning something that is emotional and hard and doing a spell, doing it, alchemization, whatever word like you like to use that is intuitive for you, and making that or transmuting that into something else. So it's making everything a ritual, right? Everything, everything we do. Well, because life is a fucking ceremony. We don't need to do medicine to be in a ceremony. We're in a ceremony right now. Like that's the simulation we're in.

SPEAKER_02 50:24

And I mean that's the truth, right? Is let's let's just let's if we would just make everything a ritual, we would find the joy in everything. Yeah, right. Not I have to do this, I get to do this. Yeah, I get to do this, I get to release, I get to, and being out in nature for me, or at least being in among these things that Mother Nature gives us really allows me to see that I am not all this and I'm not all that. It's not black, again, it's not black and white. You know, there is so much gray within me, but not just gray, there's purple, there's there's gold, there's white, there's pink, there's, you know, there's all these colors that are also part of me, right? And allowing me to see that I can have thick skin and I can have a soft soul, right? Yeah, it doesn't have to be just, oh, you're just thick skin and and nothing's gonna bother you. No, no, no. You have thick skin because you have a soft soul, you know? Yeah, and again, we are a soul in a body, not a body in a soul. And now as we're talking, I'm like, it just all makes sense now, right? The full moon was at the beginning of the month, and then I had I went through that, and me really feeling like I have this connection with the divine feminine, right? The the moon herself is I feel like I'm very synced with her cycles, right? With with what she's going through, you know, and I haven't seen her the last couple days. Like she's I guess she's rising very late, like one in the morning or whatever, because that's the phase she's in. And I'm like, how fucking amazing is that, right? She's in hiding, she's she's going through her own things while I'm simultaneously going through my own things, you know.

SPEAKER_01 52:15

And also, Gab, the Scorpio full moon was a lot about releasing, was a lot about things coming to the surface. So you're just in tune, you're tapped in, you're turned on, right? Like, meaning you're being turned up a notch because nature is what's going on outside of you is also going on within you. And we don't always have to put logical words of trying to figure it out because it's not something I think we need to figure out. It's something we need to feel, we need to trust, and we need to have faith in. All of the things that we can't see, right? That doesn't mean that they're not there. I heard this great thing is this other day where the I think it was a podcast, and I think I sent it to you. He was saying, like, we you don't see gravity, but if you fall off a building, you know, you're gonna you're experiencing, you know, there's all these forces that we not we don't see, but it doesn't mean that they're not there. And so the more you strengthen that sense of intuition, the more you strengthen that sense of connection, that's your guidance, that's your compass. That's the thing that is going to lead you more than anything else. And I think for me, this work is to get women to a place where they are strong in that connection, in that soul. You know, I posted this about when I got the new car. Stop playing other people's fucking game and expecting to win. Learn how to play your own fucking game. And what I mean by that is learn how to fucking connect to your own soul because your soul's trying to guide you. And it's going to, you know, circling back to the beginning of this podcast, Gab, when we were talking about success, your version of success, in my opinion, is when you're in fucking alignment with your fucking soul. That's success. When you can trust that, when you can have faith in that, when you can, when you can hope that's where it's what's guiding you, that's how you win the game. Yes, there's a game going on around us in this 3D world, but you win that game when you're in connection with your soul and you learn how to operate and what's the word I'm looking for, monetize your gifts, right? I truly believe that you're allowed to make an impact and an income. You're allowed to make an impact and an income. And I think we're afraid of taking risk, we're afraid of putting ourselves out there, we're afraid of all of the things. And there is a certain amount of safety that we need internally and to feel like we can take external action. But the more you you trust that you've got you and something else has got you, the more you can align with your soul mission, the more you're gonna win this game of whatever simulation thing you believe in. But there is a soul guidance that is guiding you and isn't wrong, right? It's not leading you astray. Doesn't mean it's fucking comfortable. It's what this whole podcast has been about. It's actually quite uncomfortable. But that doesn't mean it you're that's not leading you and you're going through the things that you need to go, just like you said, it's the catalyst. And how can we keep stoking the fire? I don't know if that's the right word within us to keep growing our capacity to do things, to take risks when with there it doesn't feel comfortable yet, right? I had I had a girl say, you know, I'm really excited for the treat, but I'm shitting my pants because of the you know, the the payment. And I was like, that's really fucking valid, right? Like that's a normal, valid thing to be feeling, but it doesn't also mean that it's wrong, right? It's there is a risk required, there's a leap of faith. It's trusting yourself before you have the evidence. And I just feel that way in terms of nature as well. It's trusting that there's other forces going on around you, even if you can't see them.

SPEAKER_02 56:10

Yeah. And I think yeah, I think I think trust is is huge. Trust is huge. And I think we've been led to believe that trust is bad at times, right? And what way if you trust, that if you trust, you're gonna be disappointed, right? Because trust is, I feel like trust is associated with expectations and it's two very different things. It's two it, you know, they're not they're not the same, right? Trust is even if.

SPEAKER_00 56:42

Yeah, right. It's faith.

SPEAKER_02 56:44

And expectations is more like what if, right? And trust is surrendering, trust is believing in yourself, trust is so many things, it's authenticity, it's living a relentless life, right? It's choosing you, right? Trust is all these things that go against what we were taught, right? Trust is is all of that because we've been led to believe that we have to trust something outside of us in order for us to be happy, in order for us to live a joyful life, in order for us to live a fulfilled life, we have to trust, right? That's I mean, that's what religion kind of does, right? Is it's like religion is teaches us that God is outside of us when I believe like we are God, like God is within us, actually. Like we are descendants of God, right? We he he he that source, whether it's God and higher power, the you know whatever, is within us. That's why they say all the answers are within us. We just gotta ask ourselves the right questions. That's the issue here, right? Is that so true? Not you know, because the minute you start asking yourself questions, you're like, holy shit.

SPEAKER_01 58:05

Well, and there's I I am taking a course on trauma with Gabert Mate, and he was talking about he's like, if you start asking the questions, right? You start asking the deeper questions, he's like, it'll take time, but the the answers will come to you. Doesn't mean you're gonna get all the answers all at once, but the answers and like those answers will come to you. And I think, God, that those answers also come in the source of intuition, of energy, of knowing. Doesn't always mean it's a logical answer. Sometimes it's a knowing type of answer. And again, if we're combated, that's might not be the right word, if we're feeling so anxious and overthinking and overstimulated, and then I don't think we're able to hold to receive the answers. And I think that's why healing and nervous system regulation work and going into nature are so important. Yoga, spaces where it allows you breath work to calm the fuck down, be in a space of silence and allow those answers to come to you, to create space to actually receive them. And I don't think we create enough space in our lives just to be, just to breathe, and just to fucking feel. And we have to create those rituals and be in devotion to those rituals because at least for me, that's what it means to be have a spiritual ex like a spiritual practice, a spirit be a spiritual person, is when we create space for an order to receive. Gabi P. I'll be right back. I've been holding it. Oof. I would just like you to know, Gab, that I currently have four different beverages over to the right of me. Actually, five. I have five. I have water, I have uh celery juice, a bit of coffee, matcha, and tea. Five beverages next to me.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:15

You have a whole uh you have a ritual.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:20

That's right. I woke up late this morning, so I didn't have my like normal like ritual of like my tea. And then because we were doing the podcast for a few hours, like I gotta have all of my rituals like next to me right now for the hours that we're gonna be here doing this.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:33

Anyhow, what I wanted to say was just that it's so easy for us to be caught up in like the survival of life, you know. It really, really is and normal, yeah. It's very normal to just be in that rat race, right? It's really, really easy and and be caught up in the bills and the the job and this and that, and even like this whole Mother's Day thing. I think this is the first year that I actually forgot that Mother's Day was this weekend. Wow, okay, because I'm so not in the loop of keeping up with the Kardashians. I'm so not like I don't really watch TV, you know. I I'm not, I don't I am on social media a lot because of the posting and the the stuff, but I'm not like scrolling, you know. I and because I feel like I've gotten rid of a lot of follow, like a lot of the people I follow are not uh reality stars, like I don't really follow those type of people. So the algorithm obviously is is sending me stuff like desp Joe Dispenza and Tony Robbins and all these like personal development peoples, people, and and so I'm not in the known of what is going on in the 3D world, right? I'm living a lot up here, so like I do forget, like I'm I was like crap, this week is Mother's Day, and it's kind of interesting to be in the space where I feel like that's cool that it's Mother's Day, but I'm not like oh my gosh, what are we gonna do for Mother's Day? You know, like are we gonna go to eat? Are we gonna do this? Are we gonna do that? Like, I'm just like it just kind of feels like just another day. Yeah, feels like just another day because I do feel like every day should be Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:19

Every day we have to wake up and be moms. It's not like it's only that what a treat it would be if it was just that one day a year, you know, that we have to get up to be a mom.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:29

Um, but uh yeah, it's it's like there's been little things that have shown me how much I've grown and how different my life is this year than from what it was last year. I remember last year I was really upset because I didn't feel appreciated on Mother's Day. I think I remember getting in an argument with my son Valentino because he was being a little selfish and nobody really like took made an effort to give me flowers. Nobody just nobody made an effort, right? There was no talk about like what do you want to do? What do you want to, what would you like us to cook for dinner or where would you like us to take you? Nothing like that. And I was like, I remember being really upset and being like, this sucks. Like, you know, seeing everybody was posting like I got this and I got that, and I was like, this really sucks. Where this year I don't really, I don't really care. I don't really care, you know, because I value myself so much more than I did last year, yeah, as a woman, but also as a mother and as a human being. So I don't need that external validation, right? From from anyone, from anyone, because I've learned to give it to myself, yeah, by doing daily rituals for myself, by romanticizing myself, by uh weekly try to buy myself flowers. I got myself some peonies, which are my absolute most favorite flowers.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:55

Oh, they're so beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:57

They are, but they're they're only in season for such a short time here. I think it's like five or six weeks. They're so expensive. Okay. It was they were like th three flowers for almost 20 bucks.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:09

Wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:10

And I do try to buy myself flowers weekly, though, you know, to put in my house and uh take a bath, you know, do these things for myself. Yeah. So that I can connect with myself and I remind myself that I too matter, you know, that I too matter, that I am worthy of making time for myself, that I am worthy of buying myself flowers, that I am worthy of taking a bath and sitting in there, lighting the candles, just romanticizing myself, right? Yeah, romanticizing your fucking life.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:43

Because if you don't do it, who's gonna do it for you? Nobody. Right. Like I think there's people who can support that, but I think everyone has a responsibility within themselves as like a divine assignment to romanticize their themselves, their life, because it is it bright brightens your light, right? It allows you something I wanted to say earlier, Gab, and uh don't let me uh interrupt your thought if there's something else you want to say, but I there is a sense of like wanting abundance, not from greed, but from being able to fucking give more. To just be able to give freely, and that doesn't feel like you've got a noose around your throat because you're abundant, you're in a space where you're secure and you can freely give. And I similar to what you're just saying, in terms of like feeling more valid in yourself than compared to last year, you're able to give that to yourself and then give that out into the world, and you don't need someone to give it to you. It's still nice. I still think you should be appreciated on Mother's Day. I and I think it feels good to be appreciated, but there's a certain level of like being able to get to where you are allowed. Light. You know, I think that took, you know, Gab again, like I don't know if we I could have done the podcast a year or two ago and be able to hold it. Meaning be able to show up weekly and express and keep putting it out there and keep doing things that are hard. Or have the courage. Correct. That's what I'm saying. I don't know if I was in a place where I had the capacity to do that. But now I am. And now I'm able to give this and we're giving this freely. Yes, we're getting something out of it, but we're also giving freely because we're in a place where we feel more validated, more abundant, like we're more soul aligned, and that we also have the capacity in our nervous system to hold it, to keep going, to keep reaching out to people to be guests, to keep showing up for each other, to keep making it a priority, to not shy away from it, even though you know maybe it would be easier, especially for you and your family. But we're in a place where it's it this is the time and the time is now. And I do believe there's a divine timing to things. You know, I don't think we ever feel ready. I don't know if that's like we I don't know if we ever actually feel ready. I think we have to lean in before we feel ready, and then you fuck around and you find out. But I also do also believe that there is a divine timing to life. I think it it's both. I do think there's a divine timing to life, and I do think opportunities. Have you ever read Big Magic? The book Big Magic? Highly recommend. In that book, Liz Elizabeth Gilbert talks about how ideas are like little energies that want to come in. Like, and and also Michael Jackson talks about this in his like the Menu Michael movie, that you have to create space for those intuitive hits to come in. By the way, such an amazing movie. Talking about oh my god, have you seen the stuff Danny Morrell is talking about with Michael and how like he was a frequency of love, and then how all of the shit that got on with him was essentially like negative energy trying to bring him down. Yeah, fucking incredible.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:06

I lost my train of thought, but that it being talking about how, yeah, being on that frequency just brings yeah, brings so much to you, um, and just believing so much in yourself, in your ability to give love and to be the very best version of yourself, to know your worth, all of these things is like you are unstoppable. It makes you unstoppable, and you're putting it out on the in the magnetic field, which is in turn gonna make you magnetic, right? And it's gonna attract all these things to you. I truly, truly believe that.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:48

Yeah. So that's what I was saying about big magic, circling back. I remembered Michael, is that like you have like these intuitive hits, they want to be birthed into the world. And if we're not creating space in our lives or we're not ready for them, then those ideas are gonna go to another person. And if that and then maybe that person's gonna be able to birth that into the world because they're more ready for it. That's essentially what this big magic book is kind of about. And I think that's so valid and so true. And I think one of the quotes that he, Michael says in that movie is like, if I don't, if I'm not here to accept this idea, it's gonna go to print.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:24

Yeah, they're gonna give it to Prince. I laughed so hard when he said that. I was like, oh, he's right.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:29

It's gonna it's gonna go to prince. Which I just think is a practical way of kind of feeling into what we're talking about in terms of when you are at that frequency, when you do have the rituals to create the space for those intuitive desires, dreams that to come to you, then you have to also have the nervous system to be able to take the aligned steps and actions to go after it. And I think that's a lot of being able to mobilize energy to make that to take aligned action steps to make that dream come into fruition, right? That's being the creator of your reality, meaning that it's not just all on you, that there is these external forces that are here to support you, but it is on you to take the aligned action for it. And if you can't, then that's where your work begins because you can heal and you can heal your nervous system and you can start to take like take the steps. That doesn't mean it's an overnight process, Gab, like we're talking about. That could be years, but even in one year, reflecting back for you, Gab, you're in a completely different place than you were a year ago. Again, that might be where you want to be, Gab, but who cares? You're on the path. I know you do care. You get what I'm saying? You are on the path. It doesn't mean it's comfortable, it doesn't mean we aren't where we want to be. But like I said to you, I think in my text, I'm like, we're gonna fucking get there, Gabby. You you get to the point where it's like there's no doubt in my mind, but you have to do the work to get to that place where there's no doubt in my mind. You keep moving, you keep moving towards what lights you up, following your joy, your bliss, what the tools that work for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:11

You keep making believe, behave, become those steps are gonna lead you someplace.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:17

And in a year, like I think we underestimate what we can do in a year and we overestimate what we can do in a day. And sometimes the rest, the alchemization, the times to nature, the slowing down is there to actually speed you up because without those times, without that space, without that stillness, you're not you're not you're not creating that. This is also what breath work does.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:41

Slow is slow is smooth and smooth is fast.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:45

Slow is smooth and smooth is fast. I like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:49

Yeah, and I I truly believe that. I truly believe somebody a long time ago said that to me, and it never resonated until this year, where I've used it a lot in moments where I'm like stressed out, trying to get things, you know, like the pressure of like needing to be ready, needing to do this, needed everything to be perfect. I'm like, okay, slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:17

Because if you slow down, yeah, you know, you everything kind of smooths out, and what happens? The everything kind of the road opens up for you and you get to go without traffic, without the noise. Yeah, yeah, it really does. But we that's not the world we live in, Rach, right? We live in a very fast-paced world where it's like go, go, go, hurry up. You gotta do this, you gotta, you're in competition with X, Y, and Z, right? And no, I'm not in competition with anyone. I'm not I'm in competition with the person that I was yesterday. Yeah, that's it, right? And uh what I tell myself is as long as I am giving myself in my purpose one percent effort every single day in a year, I will be 37% better than I was last year.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:13

And in two years, that's almost 70, 70. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:17

Well, it's like a growth mindset. You know what I mean? It's like we all have to start somewhere. We and that place is usually more uncomfortable because we're not good at that thing yet. But if you do one percent every day, that's gonna fucking add up over the years. What else are you going to do? You know, like you know what I mean, in terms of when you're devoted to your soul, your mission, your internal compass, guidance system, whatever, and you keep getting one percent more connected, better, working on something, you can grow, right? That's where it's not fixed. You're not fixed, right? You're not in this one place forever, and nothing's ever gonna change. You have the ability to get one percent better at something.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:59

You not just do you have the ability, you have the responsibility to do it. 100% have the responsibility to do it, you know, and that is gonna determine our future, right? That is gonna determine everything. It's being and and it and it takes it takes discipline, it takes consistency. I I I'm constantly putting this on post discipline and consistency, right? I think it's Jim Rohn who says you know, you will have to suffer the but you'll have to choose between discipline or regret. Which one are you gonna choose? Fuck one weighs discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. It's so fucking true. Which one are, and I'm constantly telling myself that this journey that I'm on, this journey that we are on is fucking hard. Yeah, it makes us, yeah, it makes us not watch TV, it makes us, yeah, it makes us lonely a lot of the time, right? We people don't don't get you, you know. It makes you it makes you weird, it makes you strange, it makes you sometimes crazy, right? It makes you, you know, broke sometimes. You know, it makes us all these things, but what are we gonna choose, right? Like I like I said in the last podcast, I'm gonna fuck around and find out. I don't want to live in regret. I don't want to, I don't want to be like the butterfly and have only two weeks of fucking living my very best life only to die. I don't want to be like that. I want to have years of fulfillment, years of magic in my life. You know, I want to explore, I want to have adventures, I want to, I want to see the world through the lens that I have right now. Yeah, not through the the not through society's lens, but through the lens I've created.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:54

And we have to create the momentum. The momentum doesn't isn't gonna come to us. We have to create it. And this is how we create it. We are giving everyone the roadmap on how we create it, right? It's it's listening to podcasts, it's it's surrounding yourself around aligned people, about the around the right people. Yeah, yes, it might not be tens and thousands of people, it might only be three people, but those three people are the ones that are gonna be make you feel seen, supported, believed in, right? And are gonna be there through everything, through the thick, through the thin, and continuing to do this every single day, even on days when everything, all the odds, everybody around you is telling you that you're on the wrong path. I mean, I get it done told all the time. My dad, you know, is constantly telling me, like, what are you doing? Yeah, what you're doing is not okay. You gotta get closer to God, you gotta, you gotta go to church, you gotta, you gotta do this, you gotta do that. Yeah, but that's what he believes. Yeah, he believes that, and that's okay. Everybody's entitled to believe everything, anything they want to believe. But let me believe in what I believe in. Let me choose, and if I and if I make a mistake, then I make a mistake.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:13

Yeah. And that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:16

Because you're a human and mistakes are okay.

unknown 1:17:18

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:19

Guess what?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:19

I either win or learn.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:20

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:21

Either win or learn.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:22

My therapist said to me this week, and she was like, Well, I was talking about a situation with a friend, and she said, Well, what if what happened, what would you do if you look back and you figured out that like you did like you you were in the wrong in some way? And I was like, I guess I would just apologize. She's like, Yeah, you just made a mistake, and that's okay. I was like, Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, it's like it doesn't have to be hard. Sometimes we just have to own, yeah, I fucked up, I made a mistake, I I'm sorry, and you learned because that's growth. We don't need all human. Correct. That's human.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:59

There's there's no perfection, no one's perfect, nothing's fucking perfect, and that's so here's the thing is like you know, religion is so like they're like, Oh, you know, so black and white this, if you do that, if you do this, if you do that, you're gonna be a sinner, you're a sinner, you're a sinner. Guess what? We're fucking born sinners. We are. Oh my god, because we're carrying sins, we've inherited sins up from the past, yeah. You know, so we're we're born sinners, so we're not here.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:28

Well, I feel like it's also setting you up to fail. We know what I mean, like and for judgment.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:33

Not just to fail, like instilling shame, fears, all these things to us, you know. I don't want to live with shame. I've lived with it. Yes, yes, and and I'm not saying like anything bad. Uh I I don't want things to be misconstrued, right? I'm just saying that that's not all there is to life.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:55

That's not all, that's not the only area where where you can feel fulfilled and happy and alive, right? There's so much more to this world than being confined to that.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:08

Yeah, correct. I and I feel like this kind of leans into it's almost like this label of your identity comes from like being a good person. You're that sense of like being a good person comes from the label of like I'm religious or like your political label. It's like you're allowing that label to to give you your own your identity, give you your worth. Correct. Of like, oh, I'm a good person because I I I'm a devoted Catholic, or because I'm this, or because I I voted for this person. Well, what guess what?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:43

You're also a fucking human being. Exactly. You're gonna make mistakes just how I make mistakes, and you make mistakes, and and everybody on the fucking planet makes mistakes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:52

So why are you judging that person's mistakes but not your own?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:57

So this is this is the issue with a lot of this is my issue with a lot of religions, right? Is that is how many, how many people go to church? And I'm not saying this is everybody, okay? Before you come at me, people uh I'm saying there's so many people, I believe a large portion of people that go to church that go to, you know, that are part of a religion, go there on Sundays to be cleansed of their sins, only to walk out the door to continue to live the life they lived last week. Looking forward to come back on Sunday to do it all again.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:38

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:40

That makes you feel good, sure, do it, but it also makes you a hypocrite.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:45

Because you have no intention of changing your behavior changing your behaviors.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:51

And I think there's I think there is Gab, I think there is a sense of what you're saying is absolutely true, and I think there's also a sense of like people wanting to have more connection to God.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:01

Yes, to have community, people want to belong, right? You want to belong to something because so many of us are living life, like I said, in survival, and we feel so disconnected to everything, right? So we want to belong to something, whether it's church, whether it's community, whether it's uh, you know, a tribe, what a relationship, whatever it is, everybody just wants to belong, feel like they belong somewhere. But that is that feeling is there because we we are often so disconnected from ourselves, yeah, from our soul, right? From our soul. And for sure. My advice is go out in nature, go connect with nature, go, go spend less time watching TV, right? Like I said, keeping up and and go out and and go on hikes and and go to the beach, you know, go go hug a tree. You know, there's there's I'm telling you, like those things really, really like just do do things for you. I I can't explain what they do, I can only feel it. And I can't put it into words, you know what, how how healing, how healing that is, at least for me, right? It might not be for everyone, it might not.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:21

Yeah, but find your thing that helps connect you.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:24

Find yeah, find your thing that helps connect you for sure to feel to live a more fulfilled life and and don't stop believing in yourself, don't stop reaching for your dreams, for your goals. Continue on that path no matter what anybody tells you. Yeah, only we know what is gonna make us happy, what is gonna fulfill us in the ways that we need to be fulfilled. Yeah, but I will say, like in yourself, yeah. We we have to give that to ourselves. Nobody's gonna give no no nothing external is gonna fulfill that for us. We have to give that to ourselves on a regular basis.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:02

Yeah. And make space to do that, and that's where the ritual comes into play, right? It's like that's the practicality of it. How do you break that down? You create space and rituals that allow you to do that, to strengthen that relationship that you have with yourself, which means with your intuition, that means with your soul, right? Your body, your mind, your your full beingness, right? I think we uh we're very good now at like exercising. We know that's what our body needs, right? We find we we make time and space for that, but we also need to make time and space for the mental, the spiritual, the emotional. Yeah, those all deserve the same amounts of devotion as you're devoting to the physicality, and that's just the truth.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:49

Body, mind, and spirit, right? Right. We're three things, not just one, but three. And the physical aspect of it or the f the uh fitness part of it is only one aspect of it.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:00

Yeah, and I do believe that is a devotion in practice, and I do believe that it requires discipline, and I do think that is a very pathway for a lot of people as like the first touch point to kind of sound.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:13

It opens the door, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:14

Yeah, exactly. And I think that's awesome. I think that I mean, I think that's awesome. I think that's a lot of how a lot of how people kind of come down a prefer a personal development journey is through that kind of journey of excellence and and and fitness. But you know, Gabs, fuck around and find out.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:32

Fuck around and find out. That's gonna be our mantra for this year.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:37

I think so.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:39

I find out I like it too.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:42

I really like it.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:43

I like it. It's it's it's dope.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:45

And I also think it is, but I think that we are creating a sense of belonging for people just with the podcast, you know, and I think a really cool thing. And that's I hope so too. But I do think that's what this is like the intentional force behind it. And I hope that magnetizes and we can grow that field to expand. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:09

And I think that it's powerful for us to be able to come on here and share like we just did, right? About this week, about our emotions, about our feelings, about how we don't have it all figured out. Nobody does, yeah, you know, and and and growth and grief and healing is not linear, right? It's all like a roller coaster, ups and downs. But honoring those ups and downs for what they are, giving the the grief, the trauma, the the sadness, the loneliness, the same amount of love we would give uh ourselves on good days, right? That same fulfillment, that same um 110% we give, we need to give it on the bad days too to ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:56

And and and be able to be honest with ourselves and say, you know what, today I just need a mental health day. Today I'm not gonna work. Today I'm gonna disconnect myself from everything and just go and deal with this in order for me to be able to show up again tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:12

Yeah. And you usually usually show up the next day stronger, you know, or capable, right? Like feel like and then you get maybe more done the next day because you were able to like take a break. And you know, that there's a sense of freedom in that, and that's a sense of like for me, that's an abundant feeling where I can take a day and relax and like you said, feel and do the things that I need to do to support myself and my health, essentially, right? My health. And then you come back and and and get back to it. But like that's an abundant, that's being in an abundant place, I think, an abundant type of feeling. And I think that abundance is uh something I want for everyone.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:56

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And I mean that's why we've created this, right? Is so that people have a place to come to listen, hopefully to listen to our life journey and and be able to relate, you know, to what we go through, what we what we're feeling, uh, you know, the different the different uh waves that come, right? The human experience there's gonna be days that we show up here and we're like, yeah, let's party. This is fucking awesome, you know. We're by we're so vibing, we're up there. And then there's gonna be times when we're not, you know, that we're just like, man, this has been a tough week, you know, this is what it feels like. This is let's unpack it, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:27:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:39

And for others to to be able to relate that they're not alone. Yeah, because we're not alone. There's so many people, it's just not talked about enough, right? It really isn't. People don't like talking about these things because they feel so alone in those moments, right? Because again, they're we are walking. A path that is not an easy path, and so many other people don't understand it. And so it's easier to just put it in a box and and pretend like you know that day that bad day didn't happen, right? Let's put the mask on and it's time to perform.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:18

Game face.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:19

Yeah. And I think there's a time and a place where you do that. And I think there's a time and a place where you have to take the mask off. And that there's freedom in taking that mask off.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:28

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:29

And I think that's the that's the part that's very freeing. And I think that's a you know a testament to a lot of your journey, but I feel that way as well, Gab, where you know you have to start having the conversations that allow you to take the mask off. And being similar to what you said, like in what you read, it's like a poem. I don't know what else to call that. But like to own that truth of who you are and be grounded in that and trust that, but also trust that if that make means that you lose and let go have to let go along the way, that's okay because it you've got you, right? So it's like you have to be grounded within yourself, know what's that this is what you're saying, and then trust that if people fall away or things fall away, that's just a part of the process of letting go and surrendering and owning who you are. And that's that is hard. It's not easy, but it is a part of the path. And I think also, Gab, I think it's a part of it's gonna be a part of our future moving forward, to be honest. Because as we as we grow, as our light grows, as that then once your success starts to grow, and now your success is external, I think that then even is gonna trigger people to the next degree. Right. We talked about this like and losing weight, Gabby, right? You weren't so much of a as a threat. The more you become more of a threat, with if that's physical or from a money or from a success standpoint, the more that that triggers people, and you are gonna lose people along the way. The there was a I'll I'm gonna leave on this. I really like Sabrina Lynn. I'm in her bone circle. In one of her circles, she wanted us to ask a question, and this was the question.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:24

Sabrina. Yeah, who genuinely queen exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:29

So she uh wrote I wrote this in my journal. I know the viewers or listeners can't see that, but she said, Who genuinely for fucking real supports your greatness? And Gabby, my list is very, very short.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:43

Yeah, very, very short. And I mean I have friends, but people maybe three people, four people, but for and even then, even then, sometimes some of those people because so here's the thing, right? Because so many of us are well, all of us, right, carry a wound, carry wounds. Yeah, there's a lot of projection going on, yeah. You know, and like I said in the last podcast, I've been told, like, well, you're not saying this, and you're not sharing that, and you're not is that really authentic? And I'm like, this is my podcast. Like, this is my podcast, this is our podcast. Like, we get to choose what we what we say, and and we're here to share our truth, our truth, not our truth, not X, Y, and Z's truth, like our truth, because everybody can be living the same experience, but we'll we'll go through it differently, right? Just how somebody can have a death happen and and it's very traumatic, right? And somebody can have a breakup happen and it's just as traumatic as the person that had a death, right? And no, so trauma is trauma. It doesn't um it's not like levels, right? Like, oh my gosh, you know, like because everybody has different levels of like emotional strength, right? Where I think we're all different, we're all we all have different again back to astrology, right? We're all so different, differently designed, very uniquely. Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:11

It's how the trauma le it's the impact that wound leaves you. That's what trauma is, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:32:16

Right. Trauma is not the event that happens. I've said this so much in the last few days. It's the somebody hit pause. Delicia once told me this. Somebody hit pause, and it's you going rewind, rewind, rewind, and reliving the trauma in your the story you're telling yourself over and over and over. And it's us wanting to find logic, wanting to find the why, right? Why, how, why, how, and not being able to let that go. Yeah. Right? That is the trauma.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:45

So what I was trying to say was and pain that's left behind from that story you're telling yourself based on those events. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:52

So because we carry these traumas, right? We're all gonna have different opinions and and yeah, we're gonna perceive the same event differently.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:03

Differently.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:04

So we are here to speak on how we perceive things, how we lived it, how it hurt us, how we came out of it, how we immersed, how we transformed. That's what we are here to do. Yeah, right. We are here to tell our story relentlessly, yeah, authentically, right? That doesn't mean that that's how that person perceived it or this person perceived it. And I think that that there's so much that people just don't understand about that. There's so much that people don't understand, and that's okay. I've I feel like I've my whole life I've been misunderstood because of of the way I am, and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being misunderstood on a regular basis, you know, as long as I know that I'm here to show up as I am and give love, because ultimately that's what I'm here to do. I do believe that I'm here to to uh give unconditional love, to be of service, to help in the areas that I can help. And even helping Rach, even helping others, like there's so much that people in my in my life don't understand when it comes to me helping people. Look, I'm I'm the type of person that if I care about someone, if somebody, if somebody has been there for me in ways that I cannot pay back and they are going through something, I will devote myself to helping them get through that tough moment. And a lot of times, other people, because that's not who they are, they have a really hard time understanding why I'm doing that, why I'm trying so hard to help, why I don't just let them figure it out, why I don't just let them go through whatever they're going through and stay out of it, because that's not who I am. Yeah, that's not who I am. So this is a this is a love language, right? I'm a person that likes to be of service, that likes to help.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:08

And if there's anything I can do that with that it's within my means, I'm going to do it. That is just part of who I am.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:17

Yeah, yeah. And the power of giving, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:35:20

You're giving. Yeah. And and I forgot what we were, what we were, what the point of all of this was. But anyhow, just be who you are, people. Be who you are.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:32

People are gonna vibe with that and not, and that doesn't mean it has anything to do with you. Because, like you said, Gab, it's people's own projections and wounds that you're mirroring to them, right? So, and then that makes them uncomfortable. There's really not anything to do with you, it's their own uncomfortability with themselves.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:50

And that's a lot of times it's insecurities, you know, it is a lot of times it's insecurities, and that's not true. And I know this firsthand because it's happened to me. Like, I have I remember growing up, I had a few cousins that would like take up so much space, and I'd always be like, Why are they like that? You know, like they're so annoying. And it was because they could take up space, they had the courage, right? To show up and be who they are, be loud, be crazy, be, you know, funny and and and not be afraid of what people are gonna say about them. And I didn't have that courage then, you know. So, what did I do? I would shame them, I would judge them, you know, I would be annoyed by them. So it's just the way it is, it's human nature, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:36:35

Yeah, yeah, but it's it's a part of the experience. And so at some point, right, and we've talked on here on this before, it's like you don't have to take that on, right? Like you don't have to take on other people's projections or insecurities. That's not yours to hold. And that's their journey of their growth, right? And at some point, I think too, Gavin, what we were saying at some point in the podcast is like I'm I can't control my family's path and their path to awakening. I can't control my friend's path, I can't control my husband's path, right? I can't I can't control any of that. I think we try to control because it it we want them, like we want them to be on the same path, we want them to get it. They we want to do those, but actually we can't control that. And that also goes into there's a divine timing for things for people, and we don't have to control that. We get to be, we get to show them, we get to be who we are, and in that being who you are, you're already doing enough. You're already enough, right? In your being, you're already enough. You don't have to tell them, you don't have to force it, you don't have to control, which I think is a big thing nowadays. Yeah, women is like we want to control everything. When surrender is more of the feminine, but that's hard. It's easier to control, it's easier to be type A and want to control everything because it then you know it's perfect.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:01

There's a control of is control, you know, and control can show up in your life in so many different ways. Yeah, you sometimes sometimes I feel like no, no, no, I'm doing this because I love you. No, no, no. You're doing I'm doing this because I'm trying to control the outcome of what's gonna happen. That's thing, yes, but it takes self-awareness for you to realize that, you know. That you're why you're and thankfully, my yeah, that my kids are older, and it's like, why are you doing that? Like, why do I have to do things that way for me to be like, okay, yeah, like I'm it's me being your mom and needing to control the fact that I don't want you to have to go through this. So I'm trying to control the situation so that you when they're just like, hey, just let us live our life and let us make the mistakes we're gonna make, and we'll have to figure it out when we cross that bridge.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:52

And and I think that's one of the hardest things I've had to do is let go of control, you know. I one thing I remember constantly being like, you guys don't help do this, you guys don't help doing that, and then they do it, and I'm like, that's not the way you do it. You do it this way, yeah. And they're just like, Can you let me do it my way? Right, you know, it's again, it's that control, you know, needing it to be a certain way.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:17

So yeah, I a hundred percent agree with you, Rach. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:20

Yeah, it's it's I think that energetic of control really also then controls you, right? Because it's like you're in survival, because if it's not perfect, then you're unsafe.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:37

And you're no longer living in flow, right? Because you're stressed. Correct. You're stressed, your cortisol levels go up, your serotonin levels go down, and you're in a place, you're in a place of now, like you said, survival. Like, how do I fix? How do I fix this? How do I fix that? And so with me, this is this has been brought to my attention. So when I find something that I absolutely love that I just think is amazing, I'm always wanting to share it, right? I'm always like, I'm not the type to be like, oh, I'm gonna keep it to myself. I'm always wanting to share it. I'm always wanting to be like, try this, like this worked for me, you know, or or this gym or or this circle or this this uh breath work or whatever, you know. And I'm like, just try it, just try it. And what I've realized is that me, because something worked for me, I want somebody else to try it. And yeah, that's awesome. But I need to just let them, I need to be like, look, this is what worked for me, there it is, and leave it alone.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:34

And not, and again, it's me trying to control, right? Being like, did you do it? Did you do it? Did you do it? Are you gonna do it? Are you gonna do it right? No, it's like just let them figure it out, right? If they're if that's something that that that they're aligned with, that that kind of like is something that resonates with them, then they will take it. But it's not my job, and it's not like you said, it's not my responsibility to help them heal from that, right? They need to, they're on their own path. Yeah, they're on their it's not my responsibility to create a different path for them.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:05

Yep. Yeah, yeah. And like I said, I think this is a really big thing for women. And I because I think we're trying to wear the role of the masculine and be also trying to like keep our feminine essence. But I think type A controlling is your sense of feeling safe and it being perfect, right? It's a perfection that you need it to be perfect, so you're controlling it because if it's not perfect, then it is shaking your sense of safety and self-worth. There is a perfection that you think you have to hit in order for everything to be okay. And if you let that go and you surrender it, there is a sense of, oh well, how do I operate in the world if it's not perfect? Right? I'm not gonna be okay. And I think when you heal that, I think you get a lot of your life back and a lot of your energy back, right? It's like when you're no longer stressed, right? If you're when in a state of stress, you know, how many hours of the day, if we think, if we break it down like this, how many hours of the day are you in survival mode? When you start to do practices that and a normal level of stress is we need in the world. I'm not, I don't think we all are just like, don't need a certain amount of stress is is in a sympathetic state we need. But if you're living in a sympathetic state for hours on end during the day, you're imagine how many hours of your life you actually can get back because you're not in that state, in that state of survival. And you're in a state of expansion, you're in a state of creation, you're in a state of flow, meaning you're open to receive in impact and imprints from the universe, right? Ideas, opportunities, all of those things. When we're in a state of survival, we're not open to that, right? Our frequency is not in a state of of love, of flow, of being able to take that because we're in a such a stressful state. So imagine how much more of your life you would get back, like if you didn't live in that state all of the time.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:12

Yeah, and the people you would the people you would attract into your life, right? I think this year that has been a really big lesson for me is being able to like really let go of controlling every aspect of my life or wanting to control the outcome of every aspect of my life. Right. And I will say the second biggest thing has been like honoring the masculine, honoring the men, right? Because I think this year I've really been able to step back and be more in my feminine, be more in my divine feminine, and that has allowed me to really, like I said, honor men and see that that like we've talked before, right? That the masculine is kind of like Danny Morell puts it, right? He talks a lot about how, like, yes, men are here to lead, right? Yes, we are here to to surrender, right? To allow the masculine to lead, but not to control, right? Not to lead with control, but more like lead with love and care and compassion for the woman, right? And and the woman is here to be devoted, right? The the woman is here to be devoted to her to their man and and be there for him and allow it's it's like it is so it is in a sense what we've been taught, right? Just reframing it all, right? It's not about control, like really removing control from both the feminine and the masculine, right? And being like, yes, I'm gonna lead, I'm gonna provide, I'm gonna show up for you, I'm gonna take care of you, I'm gonna make you feel seen, I'm gonna make my woman feel seen, supported, appreciated, loved, you know, desired, wanted, needed, right? All of these things. But the woman is gonna do the same, right? I'm gonna be devoted, I'm gonna care for you, I'm gonna, I'm gonna cook for you, I'm gonna make you feel loved by I don't know, massaging you, you know, or making sure that I hold you, yeah, love you, you know, appreciate you by saying thank you for doing this. Thank you for doing this.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:26

I think a huge thing here, Gabby, is and what I see is and is like the nitpicking. I feel like women really nitpick at men, and that from that energy, you think that that's gonna be the thing that's gonna help them change, and it is absolutely doing the exact opposite. Yeah. And I think that doesn't mean that what you're saying isn't you don't have validity in, you know what I mean? Like that the way that you feel may not be true, but the nitpicking isn't helping your side, your argument, your whatever. It's doing the opposite. And that's where I think, Gabby, that it's both energies, right? Both energies are creating the issue, the issue, the friction, the whatever. And the other thought that I came into my mind, Gab, when we were we are talking about this is that's why I also feel like in current like relationship status, I don't think of it as a bad thing if like a relationship needs a break. Because maybe the relationship needs a break for both people to grow, to then be able to come back to the relationship and say, you know what, I actually worked on these things and I needed to be a part to actually like put more effort or more awareness and put it, you know, and put myself in situations where I was forcing myself to grow because I knew I needed to do that and be pushed to do that. And our current dynamic in the relationship wasn't allowing that for that space to do that. I actually think that's a good thing. I think we need to re-evaluate the role of relationship and do things that and have open, honest communication, but be in a reality where that's actually a good thing, right? That that's not a sign of something being wrong. It's a sign of two people are on two different paths and on two different growing paths. And when there's friction in the relationship, maybe some of the things is changing the environment, changing the whatever, in order for people to grow to then come back together and be able to support each other in an absolutely in a new energy, knowing that both people are on their own path. And just like I can't control, I can't control my husband, his path of growth. I can't do that. And it's something actually I surrendered to a few years ago where I like, I can't control that. And there were things the universe did. He got laid off first time in his life that shook him as a man and his identity. I didn't have to force that. The universe gave him an experience that he needed to grow and go through to allow to shape him and his way of thinking and how he was relating to that, the stories he was telling about what that meant about him. He had to go through that and come out on the other side. I didn't have to force him to go through that growth, right? And I think as women, we want to we want a man to be the masculine, the macho, the protective, the yeah, the protector, the provider. But we also have to give them space to be on their own journey and not fucking try to control it.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:49

But also I think we want them, we want them to be that, right? I mean, maybe the macho part we can leave out. I've had enough of that. Thank you. But um we want them to be all of that, right? We want them to be tough, we want them to be resilient, we want them to be leaders, we want them to be providers, we want them to be able to hold that space for us. But then we don't there's so many women that don't want to hold that space for them, right? We then have to be able to have a space where they can come home and feel like they can break, like they can be vulnerable, you know, and they can be held and they can be nurtured and they can be like, you know, uh brought back to life by their by the this woman, right? Who is like, hey, I'm here. It's okay. It's okay to cry, it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to have a shitty day because I got you. What do you need again? Like back what I said the last time with Frank like what do you need? Like, really asking, not not thinking that we know everything, right? But asking, like, how can I support you? What would you like me to do to support you? You in this during this time. What do you need? Do you need a hug? Do you just need to be held? Do you need me to help you with something tomorrow, right? In in your business or whatever. You know what? What do you how do you want me to support you?

SPEAKER_00 1:50:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:14

Right? I'm here for you. Like just let go.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:19

Let go and and and we're gonna get everything together. Yes. And I'm gonna be here no matter what. Right. I'm gonna be here no matter what. And a lot of times women don't do that, right? They're like, well, this happened because you didn't do this, and and you should have done that. And you should, you know, you needed to do the it this way and that way. And and what does that do? That is telling sending the signal to the man, like, hey, this is not this person is not safe. Yeah, this person is not safe. I cannot be weak around this person, right? Right. And they kind of have to swallow all of that and be like, no, I'm a man, like I have to do this, you know, and a lot of times men behave the way they behave because of fear.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:05

Fear will cause a man to be angry, to be aggressive, to be violent, to be hurtful with their words, you know, because they are are they are in fear of you know the way their the woman is reacting. But if we provide a safe, emotional, emotionally safe space for this person to be able to just unravel, right? Decompress and be vulnerable, then those are the moments that they see uh the strength in us, right? That's how we see the strength in them daily by them going to work and doing all these things and providing, and then they will see that in us, like wow, this person can really hold me on in these tough moments. And I feel like those moments, Rach, are the moments where the couple grows and and the love gets even bigger, right? Yes, I think but I do agree with you about space. I think that people see that as a bad thing, and I think I think space can really because if you don't give yourself if each other space, then you're you're gonna end up nitpicking at each other, right? You're gonna end up being like an in an in a very irritated state. And you're gonna find yeah, you're gonna be like, why are you doing that? Why are you doing this? You know, yeah, and and then that builds resentment, and over time it adds up and adds up. And another thing is that I do believe that as a couple, you need to be on this journey together, you know, you need to be on this growth journey together, be like you said, have the open communication, be able to feel both of people to feel emotionally safe, to be able to communicate about everything. Yeah, everything, you know, and not take anything personal. No, it's not, it's not easy because we already a lot of times we're already coming into a relationship with our own insecurities, yeah, you know, and that's exactly what I was about to say, Gab, is that we your attachments, I feel like, really come into play, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:53:08

Because you attach your love for this person, and if they take that love away, you're not gonna be okay, right? Or you know, it's those types of fears, it's those types of wounds. It's oh well, this person doesn't love me. There's something wrong, right? There's something wrong with me. I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy enough, I'm not lovable. It's if this, if the if if your husband, wife cheats on you, or there's another person, you know, oh, that means he doesn't love me, he doesn't love me anymore. It's wrong. Fuck him, fuck that.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:41

That's not actually the the stories that I think we internalize it, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:53:46

You know, that's the thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:48

When it's actually more telling about that person than it is about you, right? I think I think when somebody genuinely cheats, it has really nothing. And I know that everybody's very quick to point the finger and be like, oh, well, I cheated because you didn't give me attention, because you didn't make me feel supported, because you didn't make me feel seen, because you were not giving me love and attention. No, you cheated because you were not giving all those things to your fucking self.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:18

And because you're not giving them to yourself, you were not allowing me to give it to you. And I think that it's a very important when you when that happens, I think it's a very good moment for you for us as individuals to take a look in the mirror.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:36

And be like, what is going on within me that makes me feel like I needed this? Because it's it's what we're seeking, I believe what we're seeking if we're cheating is validation, attention out externally, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:54:50

Which is, you know, the seek for that is a seek for connection. You know, I mean, like when you're seeking validation, when you're seeking attention, you're seeking connection. Connection. And the you know, this throws me back to the Michael Jackson movie because I that my favorite Michael Jackson song is Man in the Mirror. And I think mine too. Oh my god. Mine too. So like I when he I love it. I love I think that song is so good, so true, something we all need to listen to, I think, every single day, right? Because he talks about it's not black or white, right? And if you want to change the world, you should look in the mirror and start with yourself. Exactly. And I, you know, that that I just I find that to be very, very true. And like again, I think, you know, tying this up is there's so much duality in life. And I think there is a responsibility that we have with ourselves, there's a responsibility we have with one another, there's a responsibility that we have on a grander scale. And I I the dynamics of why we do the things that we do and the behaviors that we have gets rooted down to something, right? We're talking like, I want to know the why, right? I think if we ask the good questions, the why will come up. And as you do the excavation inner work, those whys will reveal themselves to you. And I think there has to be a point where you forgive yourself and you're on your journey of forgiving, and then you're on a journey of forgiving others because everyone has their own shit and has the be they're behaving for a certain way. It goes back to that podcast gap that I sent you with Aubrey Marcus, and it's Aubrey and that doctor, and they're fucking like going at it, and that is such a good podcast. It's it's so good. It's so good. And that is gonna rub people a lot of different ways. Like that is a very like triggering episode. But what I love about that and all of the work that I've I've done and I I immerse myself in of these worlds is we are conditioned and people are living from their conditioning, and their behavior is based off of the things that have happened to them. That doesn't mean that they're aware of that, conscious, aware, or understand that that's the root of their behavior. And I, from that podcast, Gab, I that really blew my mind open to being less judgmental, even though I'm judgmental about things that trigger me, and that's my own journey. But there is actually, I think, a reason why people do a lot of the things that they do. If you're if you excavate that enough, but it's also that person's responsibility to change it and to do the work to change it. And I think that's everybody's own journey. Your feelings aren't facts and but they're your journey and adventure to go down. And I I I truly believe that like we need to give people compassion and empathy, but also hold them to a certain boundary and responsibility, but also speak life into them, right? Speak life into to have hope and to have faith and to that you can change, right? There is another time where I forget what this is called, but it's like if you believe the negative outcome, the negative outcome is probably gonna come. If you believe the positive outcome, then like for another person, right? If you believe this person's gonna fuck up, they probably will because they can feel that energetically. And if you believe that they're going to change, they probably will because they feel that energetically coming off of you, right? And I think that's act that is also true. Doesn't mean that you have to accept the bad behavior, how that affects you, but I also think that you can have when you detach your feelings from the outcome or the expectation, then you can have hope and faith in that person to change, regardless if you're on that journey with them or not.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:47

Yeah, I 1000% agree with that. I think that um so two things. The first one is I believe what you said about about if you believe that this person is gonna, you know, I believe when you believe in someone, they start believing in themselves. But if you are constantly telling them you're gonna fuck up, you're gonna fuck up, you're gonna fuck up, you're gonna fuck up, they're gonna believe that too.

unknown 1:59:12

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:12

And they're gonna fuck up because they're gonna be like, they already think I'm gonna fuck up anyway, so why not just do it?

SPEAKER_00 1:59:17

And it's self-sabotage.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:18

So I do believe, I do believe that's accurate. And number two is that I think what I've been able to master to a certain level, right? Not completely, is being able to not take things personal, right? Really following the four agreements, right? Love that and not taking things personal, you know, regardless. I mean, I've had in the last few weeks, I've had tough conversations with people, and and there's been some things that have been said that I can that my old self would have got crushed by, right? By people's judgments or opinions of me. And I'm like kind of impressed that like it they haven't affected me. And I think it's because I'm so rooted, I'm so rooted in who I am as a person, right? And who I believe myself to be, and what I have, what I'm here on this earth to offer.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:13

And that's success, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:15

That that like other people's opinions of me, even if it's somebody close to me, it doesn't matter. I can see that this person is speaking from a place of their pain, right? A place of their wounds. And that's not and you can let that roll off of you like a water. Yeah, but it's not my responsibility to own that truth, right? Yeah, it's not my responsibility to own that truth. It's it's just their projections, it's just their pain speaking, and I can leave that there. Their pain body, you know, and even in that moment, even if in that moment it does it doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel good when I'm when I walk away, I'm like that's not me. That's not who I am. Yeah you know, do I make mistakes? Yeah, I make mistakes, but at my core, that's not who I am. Yeah, that's not what I am, that's not who I am, that's not how I operate. And the next person the next time this person comes and wants to talk to me, I'm gonna show up with love again. I'm not gonna have resentment towards that person. I'm gonna show up with love and I'm gonna be there for them because they are so much going through so much pain right now, they're going through so much hurt right now. And this goes for anybody in my life. There, they I understand that there's that there's moments when you feel so shitty that you want other people to feel just as shitty. Yeah, you know, and the next time they call or the next time they show up at my door, I'm gonna receive them with love. Because these are the tests that I believe are in my life, is to continue to show up with unconditional love for these people.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:58

Yeah, that's inspiring.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:59

Am I gonna put up with it forever? No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:02

Yeah, because you can't do it.

SPEAKER_02 2:02:03

It's very clear that this person is going through something, right? Is going through a difficult place, difficult, difficult hurdle or whatever it is, you know, and I'm gonna continue to show up with love for them. Am I gonna have boundaries? So fucking I'm gonna have boundaries. So don't don't get it mistaken. Don't be a don't be a doormat, right? Have boundaries, but also like learn not to take these things personal and learn that other people's opinions and you do do not have to define you. It is up to you to define yourself. It is up to you to create who you are, it is up to you to look in the mirror and say, I'm fucking awesome. I I fucking love you, you know. I'm a great person. I have a lot to offer, right? Just because others don't see it doesn't mean it's not true.

SPEAKER_01 2:02:49

True. And that's a lot like that's a lot to hold for yourself when you do when you do feel like you're lonely, when other people aren't able to see that, and you're actually getting the opposite reaction from people, right? That's a huge those that's a huge win gap, huge bit of success when you're able to hold your ground, when that and not feed into the stories that someone else is telling because you're in rooted in a different place, right? You're not in that place that that person is, and it's not triggering your defensiveness, right? Or you feel like you need to defend what they're saying. It that's a very strong, empowered place to be.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:35

So it is, but even so, even when it does trigger, it's an invitation for yourself, right? An invitation for yourself to be like, huh, why did that trigger me?

SPEAKER_00 2:03:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:46

Where does this live in my body? Where do I feel it in my body? Where does it where does it holding? Where is it taking up space and why, right? What can I ask of it? How do I release it? Yeah, how do I dissipate that belief about myself?

SPEAKER_01 2:04:01

Yeah, and that's the work, right? That's the work and also giving yourself time and space to do that. And I don't I think that's much harder to do again when we're in such a survival state. So I think we have to have practices where we can be honest with ourselves and do some of that deeper work and take time to take responsibility for what that trigger is showing us and be able to show up for ourselves. But Gab, what a great conversation today. And um I loved it.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:36

I love you too, Age.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:37

This space is incredible, and I'm really thankful and grateful for it. And thank you to everyone who made it and listened. And we'll probably have a guest on for the next one. So yes, we will. Yeah, and we're excited to kind of keep going. And we have uh a few guests in the on the horizon.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:54

Yes, yes. I think our our next three guests are are gonna be very um insightful. Yeah, insightful. Yeah, so I'm excited.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:03

Keep listening. Summer of Relentlessly Authentic, I think is gonna be a hit. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:08

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gonna be a hot summer.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:12

All right, Gabs. I love you. Thank you. Thank you guys for listening, and we'll be back next week. Bye. Hey, bye. What up, y'all? We are so thankful and excited that you're here. If you're loving the show, feeling the show, please think about sharing it with a friend who could also get something out of it. We're also asking for your help. If you could rate the show or write a review, that way we can grow and expand together. Reach the right people who need and are meant to hear this message. I know it's super easy not to do it, but every single rating and review helps this show grow so much. We appreciate it more than you know. Thanks so much for supporting Relentlessly Authentic. This is raw unfiltered conversations on healing, identity shifts, nervous system regulation, and the messy middles that crack you open and change everything. New episodes every Wednesday.